Keep Calm and watch movies in 2017

La La Land
Think back. When was the last time Hollywood tried to bedazzle you with a legit song and dance picture? That wasn't a delusion or parody? And that WASN'T an animated feature?
Hard to say eh? I guess that's why critics and casuals alike are giving such rave reviews to "La La Land," the bittersweet tale of two ambitious artists who find each other while finding their true calling.
Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling give the audience such a grand chemistry experiment that I'm surprised they didn't hand out safety goggles in the theater. Not only do their sparks fly in more ways than one, but their singing and their choreography are sure to please more than just the show choir enthusiasts.
And while there are some who decry the ridiculous nature of the whole genre, I believe this film delivers heartfelt acting along with the camp and riveting dialogue along with the wondrous music.
Go see it. Try not to tap your foot too much on the way out.

For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here. 
For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.

Honestly, I would not be opposed to La La Land getting best picture...

Hell or High Water
"Hell or High Water" can best be summed up as a movie about family, camaraderie, the desire to right wrongs (both criminal and sticking-it-to-the-man types), and how many playful insults can you hurl at your friend/brother that would be downright horrible if they weren't that close.
Also, Mr. Pibb is absolutely NOT Dr. Pepper. Every Texan knows that.

For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.

LEGO Batman movie
WB animation knocks it out of the park again with their tongue-in-cheek, super referential, and all around juvenile-yet-not-insultingly-childish hilariousness with the "LEGO Batman movie."
I could go on a spiel about how this has its theme firmly rooted in family and how everything is cool when you're part of a team, but I'll just list a bunch of enjoyable stuff
1. The return of more obscure C-list villains like Egghead and Condiment King
2. The jab at Killer Croc's minimal role in "Suicide Squad."
3. The return of those trained penguins from "Batman Returns."
4. "Iron Man sucks!"
5. Finally figuring out where that Joker line "you complete me" came from with actual footage.
6. A merging of the Super Friends AND the Justice League characters (both classic and New52)
7. EXTERMINATE - British Robots...ask your nerd friends
8. Gremlins on a plane.
9. Lawyer-friendly Godzilla destroying the Eye of Sauron
10. "We will be the Joker's reckoning" - Bane
11. 30 minute head start for the villains.

For people who still want to learn more about those weirdo obscure villains who were "probably worth the Google."

Nine Lives
Well, despite misgivings about how it's still totally a movie with a story cliched all up the wazoo, at least "Nine Lives" starring Kevin Spacey had the courtesy to have a fair amount of actual cats doing stunts and trained stuff instead of throwing horrible CGI monstrosities at the screen for the entire duration of the movie.
Also, actors from "The Flash" show up and that's pretty cool seeing them in other roles. 

The Accountant
It's been said that the deadliest warriors are the ones that can hide in plain sight; ninjas, assassins, accountants, serial killers etc.
...
Yes, Ben Affleck is "the Accountant" and while it is a super non-threatening title, this guy is as lethal as any James Bond, John Wicke, or any other professional asskicker.
What makes the movie are the layers of characterization to each of the characters introduced. The title character himself is on the autistic spectrum and Ben Affleck plays it very well. While it may seem off and different, his character is actually hyper-competent at most anything he puts his mind to except social interaction. Rounding out the cast are some big name stars like State Farm Band Teacher Airbender, Pitch Perfect's Little Sister of Scott Pilgrim, Lord Farquad of the Progresso Soup, and the Transparent.
Like so many things, he is not what he seems on the outside, but what is inside that counts; a diamond in the rough.
Highly enjoyable action thriller with the most mundane of titles to give to their superhero.

Arrival
How often does a movie treat the idea of aliens coming from the stars with a sense of majesty without terror and with curiosity instead of foreboding?
"Arrival" dares to show an exchange between humanity and ETs not rife with bang-bang-bang and pew-pew-pew, but with more ME-TARZAN-YOU-JANE.
What really struck me was that for the most part, most of the benevolent interactions with aliens in cinema are usually from the trend of the kids finding the space critter and befriending them. When it comes to aliens and grown-ups however, it's ALWAYS the military in a tizzy and the aliens either befuddled and attacking in retaliation, or the aliens coming in guns blazing and humanity having to take a stand.
Here, this movie has Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner doing their best to communicate with the giant squid creatures who communicate in literal moon runes like civilized adults.
So maybe that's the underlying reason why this weird little sci-fi flick became nominated for an Oscar: it emphasizes communication rather than aggression. To try the long-term relationship game and not assume the worst about the scary-lookin' people are important lessons to convey through Teacher McMovie.
Frankly, it is not phenomenal and it is slow and scoreless at times, but it is worth watching if only to see it as this century's take on "Close Encounters of the Third Kind." 

For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.

Not Amy Adam's first time trying to relate to an ET

The BFG

In light of all the Disney successes at the box office last year, it's surely baffling that something like "The BFG" could fall as flat as it did.
Spielberg and Disney coming together to bring to life a Roald Dahl classic should've been a great thing, but aside from moments of visual whimsy, the characters and pacing just didn't work right. To pad out the story some more they threw in another bit about a previous friend for the big guy before Sophie and they rewrote the ending. And honestly, it all felt so off-putting. Something about the original story, while still full of made-up words and the right kind of magical-meets-the-mundane, never really felt like it could lend itself properly to be adapted the big screen and now I know why: it's purely supposed to be read to kids and to let their imaginations run wild, like it was for me in 5th grade.
So maybe I'm not the target audience anymore but it was worth seeing for me to have another one of Roald Dahl's great stories be back in the limelight for a bit.

Yes, even the Queen's corgis were a part of that scene involving the drink with the bubbles that went down...

Hail Caesar
While I appreciate that "Hail Caesar" tries and tries to recapture some of the magic of old Hollywood in a hilarious romp filled with stars...SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HECK DID I JUST WATCH?!
Following Josh Brolin pop in and out of different movie sets as a damage control guy is not entertaining. It is a disjointed mess and some of the celebrities featured just have one or two scenes before they're never seen again. They also have George Clooney sitting in with his commie kidnappers as they explain rather poorly why their viewpoint is superior and how am I supposed to react to that?
Ridiculous, uninteresting, and its only shining moment is Channing Tatum in a swell little tap-dance number.

Logan
So how do you adapt to film a story which features an old Wolverine and a blind Hawkeye taking a road trip across a villain-ruled United States which feature hillbilly Hulks, the Venom Symbiote on a T-Rex, and President Red Skull wearing the Captain America costume like an ancient savage wearing the skin of his enemy?
Quite simply, you don't. You change the story up so it's still an old Wolverine but now he's taking care of his preteen girl clone as they run from the goons who made her. And senile Patrick Stewart is along for the ride too!
But that's what they say happened in "Logan," 20th Century Fox's next foray into making their comic book movies be edgy but not so grimdark as to be completely devoid of important things like personalities and color.
Set in the far future where Mutantkind has all but been eradicated, the Wolverine finds himself taking simple chauffeuring jobs while he takes care of an ailing Patrick Stewart. That all changes when he is tasked with escorting a young girl to a supposed Mutant haven up north. Thus, their little dysfunctional family of three is on the run from the shady corporation who was tasked with creating this living weapon, as the two old dudes have to teach her how to live as both a person and as a hero.
While the main gripe I really have is that this neither has a plethora of X-men to use, nor follow its comic story, the small and intimate cast very rarely is a bad idea. You get to see the wonderful onscreen chemistry between the old man and the older man who's like a father to him, the old man and the little girl who's pretty much a tiny Spanish-speaking version of him, and the old man to the nice family who takes them in for the night. In that light, it's also similar to a Western with the lone warrior, bitter and weary from the world, finds a new purpose and tries to go for one last ride
That being said however, the no good varmints who are mucking up his life aren't anything really to write home about. And once they've established cloning is a thing, that also means a distinct lack of creativity with a feigned attempt at being poetic for a final battle.
But absolutely recommend if not for Hugh Jackman's finest hours as this character and the brutality of it all since it fully embraces that R rating like Deadpool did the year before.

For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.
For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here. 

And for good measure about the finality of it all, have a Les Miserables parody

Power Rangers (2017)
Imagine, if you will, that somebody's only exposure to Batman was "that weird time in 66" with campy Adam West and Burt Ward. Now imagine, that same person was shown the Burton or Nolan movies.
That's essentially how I felt watching the "Power Rangers" movie.
With a more modern take on the 90s superheroes loosely based on a nearly 40 year old Japanese superhero franchise, there were bound to be changes. For the most part, those changes were for good. The main characters were crafted to not only be more "Breakfast Club" -ish, but they have their own foibles and faults which make them seem more like real humans instead of paragons of do-goodery like in the show.
While the characterization is its strongest feature, the weakest would have to be the actual superheroing aspect. They only show up in their full NOT!Spandex glory around the last 3rd of the movie and then almost immediately hop into their "dino-cars" to deal with the rampaging black magic kaiju.
Overall, a rockin' (and rocky) start to a revitalization of a most radical task force of super. Don't expect it to be great art, or a dark and gritty reboot; it's a cliche-filled, fun but sometimes dark romp with 5 teens learning to be friends and fighters.

For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.

Underoos indeed. Hahaha

Life
So in addition to jet black monsters that lay their young within your body, shapeshifting blobs that can fool anyone, parasitic slugs that wrap around your brain and control you like a meat puppet, and humanoids who can use the sun's energy to roast you by looking at you, the next critter to join my list of Aliens that Can Do Horrible Things to Your Body Purely from their Freaky Biology is Calvin the jelly-starfish from "Life."
The old adage is true again as we are proven that in space, no one can hear you scream. And truly this movie does borrow a lot from the iconic horror film starring Sigourney Weaver. Both feature a diverse cast in a tight enclosed space dealing with a nigh-unkillable menace from beyond the stars that do unspeakable evils to your body. What's funny is that this movie's score make the interactions with the tiny ET blob seem whimsical and fun for a while...all the time the audience awaits when we hear the psycho chords to signify the bad times are coming.
Watch with a friend who don't get squeamish.

The Great Wall
Oh no! Another attempt by Hollywood to lure in their foreign markets by making a visually stunning spectacle set in their homeland! But with more MATT DAMON!
"The Great Wall" tells the nonsensical tale of the REAL reason why one of the greatest landmarks in the world was made: aliens. Matt Damon plays a simple mercenary tasked with finding out about Man's Red Flower the Chinese gunpowder but ends up embroiling himself against the Eastern nation's never-ending struggle against the evil green wolf/lizard/bug things whose favorite battle tactic is the Zerg rush.
As mentioned before, this is a garbage movie with a cliched plot and cliched characters...but it makes up for it a little bit with visual flair that each Chinese cast member is given. The intricate and colorful armor with each division's unique role in fending off the invaders really makes for cool things to see whilst you watch the madness.
News being news, the media (and tryhard social justice warriors) have balked at the fact that the main star is a white man when the movie's setting is Asia. Not really anything to worry about for two reasons: 1) ALIENS ARE IN IT! HISTORICAL ACCURACY WENT OUT THE WINDOW A LONG TIME AGO! 2) his role really is minor, with him taking a backseat for most of the movie because he (and the audience) is watching the showy choreography and the escalating drama of the Chinese side of the production.
Save this one for a bad movie night since it'll give you something interesting to watch but do not expect a grand cinematic experience.

Kong: Skull Island
Let's be honest; Gorillas can get away with pounding on their chest because they're just that badass, but when humans do it, it's just painful and dumb-looking.
So be prepared for a lot of that victorious gorilla spirit in "Kong: Skull Island" as he takes on the military might of mankind along with the vicious beasts of his own native land.In a departure from the standard greedy-filmmaker-takes-away-gigantic-critter-that-falls-in-love-with-leading-lady that these King Kong movies have set as a precedent, we have shady businessmen who want to "survey" a mysterious island and they're joined by fresh out of 'Nam US military. So in addition to the titanic ape menace, the island has weird underground lizard monsters which also plague the island. So the race is on for the humans who have foolishly entered this place to escape the dangers of a place that makes them feel small.

While there are a lot of good to be said about the next entry in WB's kaiju universe, there are things that bog it down. Samuel L. Jackson, normally a treat for his intensity, wit, and Samuel L. Jackson-ness, goes Captain Ahab on Kong as his character is still reeling from the "loss" in the Vietnam war and compounded by all the men that get slaughtered by their initial skirmish with the big guy. So his single-minded pursuit on regicide gets a little tiresome especially after the audience finds out Kong might be a "bad guy"...but he is not a bad guy. The rest of the cast all have their quirks which make their characters vacillate between deep & insightful characters with good motivation and stupid people who make stupid decisions in action and words.
Overall, a very mixed bag but of course the main attraction is giant monsters fighting tooth and nail, and especially with the post-credits promise of a certain other King of Monsters joining the fray, this movie is worth the watch.

For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.

It's funny because with Kong's parents are dead and he used a bladed throwing weapon.

Sing
"Sing" can be seen cynically as Illumination animation's (the people who gave us "Despicable Me,"" the Lorax," and "the Secret Life of Pets") response to Disney's "Zootopia" but with more diversity (marine life, creepy-crawlies, birds, reptiles, and simians are part of the ensemble now). However, most of those NEIGHsayers can be shunted to the side because this film is full of laughs, a simple yet elegantly crafted plot, engrossing characters that you really root for, and most importantly of all, most excellent music selections that range from the 60s to stuff you hear on the radio today.
The premise of a bunch of creatures from all walks of life coming together to put on a show is not a new idea. But given that these characters are so diverse and come with their own easy-to-understand motivations and dreams, it certainly feels like an innovative spin on a by-the-numbers jukebox musical.
Whether or not this merited being a story told with talking animals will be up to each individual viewer. But definitely recommend to anybody who cares for good vocal work, both acting and singing.

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton
"It's never going to work. Your values are too different. She actually has values!" - Nathan Lane in another shady entertainment business role
"Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" is a delightful little time capsule to the early 2000s, rife with its distinctive fashion, technology, and attitudes. Plus, there were plenty of famous people before they made it big; Ginnifer Goodwin before she became Snow White/Judy Hopps, Octavia Spencer before her Oscar, and the main heartthrob Tad, played by Josh Duhamel, himself filling in for essentially an undiscovered Chris Pine role.
But despite its datedness, the core of the story still involves the most timeless of themes when it comes to love stories: dating out of your lane.
The girl wants the celebrity, leaving the best dude friend in the lurch. And then the celebrity, a Hollywood bad boy, realizes that her small-town USA innocence is charming, which means he wants to improve himself from this. Meaning the hijinks ensue with the conflicting views of an LA man stuck in the boonies. Plus, the best friend now has a romantic rival so that's always comedy gold.
Beautiful cheesy blast from the past. But really, it's appeal is more in how the characters try so hard to appeal to their respective crushes. Romantic comedy's tried and true formula folks, but with the twist of them actually making some sensible decisions.

Passengers
A fiery redhead in a Pixar movie's trailer managed to convey the main conflict in "Passengers" years before we even knew about Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence: "If you had the chance to change yer fate, wudju?"
This movie's weird blend of WALL-E aesthetic, Cast Away mentality, and that one Treehouse of Horror episode where Homer finds himself the only resident in a deserted Springfield makes it a very intriguing movie to watch as we see good guy Chris Pratt find himself in the stickiest of situations, waking up too early before everyone else...while stranded in a cruise ship in space that's 90 years away from his destination. After enjoying all the pleasures of the ship, he finds himself lonely as hell and willing to do anything to stave off the malaise. ANYTHING.
While many have tried to decry this movie as wasted potential because of the chance of making this a psychological thriller/straight up horror film, I enjoyed the movie as the fluffy love story with the major hurts and hangups along the way it was portrayed. Have a watch if you can easily stomach a story of a blooming dooming relationship.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
I think I figured it out: the TRUE success of the Pirates of the Caribbean films.
Think about it! The chases where the anti-hero impossibly lucks out of the danger, the sidekicks that don't distract you from how cool the hero is, somewhat memorable villains chasing after the same MacGuffin as the protagonist, and stunning & fantastic locales?
THIS IS INDIANA JONES!
And the same can be said about its 5th installment "Dead Men Tell No Tales."
Another strange and mystical treasure of the sea is up for grabs and multiple parties, including our beloved Johnny Depp in his MOST drunken stupor-est, are all vying for it for their own personal gain. One of which is the son of the original couple from the first three films, inexplicably falling into the same trap as his father...as in finding himself attracted to a strong female who don't let no patriarchy and God-fearing society restrain her from her goals.
And another notch above the last film includes a legitimately terrifying protagonist in the form of ZOMBIE-GHOSTS, led by the ever creepy Javier Bardem, who have a personal vendetta against Jack Sparrow.
Overall, a neat epilogue to the original trilogy and what I hoped would be the last adventure on the high seas with our Ocean Indy...that is until THE POST-CREDITS SCENE WHICH FILL ME WITH SO MANY QUESTIONS!

And because I feel like it, a better scene involving falsely accusing a lady of being a witch

Allied
The trick of being able to accurately describe "Allied" is how much you believe the trailer spoiled the movie.
After a pretty cool undercover spy sequence in the first act, the remainder of the movie is Brad Pitt trying to find out the truth as to his wife's identity, whether or not he is Allied with the right woman.
But if you believe the trailers wholeheartedly, then yeah...movie's ruined.

Wonder Woman
In a weird twist, this decade finally has a prequel that surpasses the films before it...and it was about a bit player with barely any screentime in the previous movie.
I'm talking about the original warrior princess, "Wonder Woman!"
As previously stated, it's a prequel to "Dawn of Justice," where she had the most cursory of screentime in both civilian guise and in hero mode, as this takes in during the time of the dreaded War to End All Wars, World War I. When the impetuous, optimistic, and fierce princess of the Amazons contemplates that line where the sky meets sea and spies a spy crashing his aircraft into their waters, she wastes no time saving him. She learns that it's possible that the the Greek personification of War Ares might be influencing all of mankind into an all-out brawl, and so takes some gear to journey into the Man's World, where hilarious fish-out-of-water hijinks ensue and the brutality of war drives this warrior to find a way to end the conflicts.
A lot of people are wondering just what kind of challenge do the armies of Germany stand against a demigoddess, and the movie shows that it's never a challenge of strength so much as a challenge to the hopeful princess's viewpoint on humanity as a whole, whether or not the evil she sees from war is a true reflection on those her people have sworn to protect. And yeah, there are a fair amount of times you wonder how a lady with all the gear of the dudes from "300" can possibly stand up against machine guns, tanks, and bad gas...but those concerns are quickly squashed with amazing action scenes and choreography to prove just how amazing this Amazon is.
The side characters are also very enjoyable, with Chris Pine playing the spy who loved her as well as his merry band of misfit mercenaries, each with their own distinct personalities and foibles. The actors of their enemies truly show just how dark and savage people (and gods?) could get when war is at the forefront.
Overall, a great display of a character who not only inspires people in and out of universe, but thanks to the compelling visuals and competently written story, this movie is being haled as the return to decency for DC superhero movies. Like their title character, this film brings out the hope that things will be better for this franchise.

For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.
For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.

A lot of people forget how some female characters portrayed on the silver screen were pretty awesome.

The Mummy (2017)
If I asked you to name one of Brendan Fraser's most iconic movies, many people will say "The Mummy." Now, thanks to Universal's attempts to make their own cinematic universe featuring their classic monsters, future generations are going to ask "which Mummy?"
"The Mummy" starring Tom Cruise is definitely a springboard for a whole slew of movies starring the classic Halloween costumes we've grown accustomed to seeing.
Tom Cruise finds himself embroiled in the evil machinations of a mummified evil princess who wants to bring the God of Death to modern day Earth, but not before finding out she's the target of a massive organization bent on stopping the things that go bump in the night. And we go downhill from there since this mummy gets loose and wreaks havoc with sand powers, zombies, and superhuman strength and ferocity.
Jake Johnson (aka Nick Miller from the show "New Girl") is the glue that holds this fragile mess of cheesy jump scares, pointless exposition, and bland acting together. But this guy kept the comedy alive (helping bring it out of Tom Cruise better than he would have with his own lines), and despite the initial "scariness" from his zombification, his ghost form brightened the often times overbearingly grotesque/moody tone.

With the attempt at making the classic monsters relevant again, the Dark Universe should really focus on stacking these Halloween icons together instead of doing what superhero films commonly do (solo solo solo Group), and just keep adding monsters with each film to keep the momentum going. They already threw a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde into this movie with the hopes of cementing the audience's investment in more zany monster crossovers. Quite frankly, I'm wondering if it will work or if people will dismiss this sad attempt at creating a cinematic universe in the same way as the Dracula film starring Luke Evans tried to do a couple years ago.

For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.

Probably a better choice for fighters of mummies.

Captain Underpants: The Epic First Movie
Let me take you back to a Scholastic Book Fair held in my elementary school's library. There, I picked up a book that was a subtle blend of light novel and comic about two first-grade wise guys who hypnotized their boss into thinking he's a superhero of their own invention. I put it down and wondered who would read such infantile stuff.
Roughly 20 years pass and I find myself sitting in the theater for a beautifully animated and witty adaptation by Dreamworks Animation.
While the voice actors they used for the kid actors were completely unfitting, the voice they used for Principal Krupp/Captain Underpants was spot-on for the mental voice given to the internally read lines, one half excellent for nastiness and the other performance great for Silver Age heroic charm/narm. The movie adapts roughly the first three books with the possibility left open for more shenanigans in the future. Quite honestly, I would look forward to more of this ridiculously juvenile humor, surprisingly adult comedy, and trope-calling-out.
Watch this if you just want some laughs more suitable for kids, but you want to feel childish.

Part of this movie's appeal is how flawlessly they've replicated the style of the original 2D doodles and translated them to 3D imagery...didn't I say that about the "Peanuts movie" last year too?

Cars 3
Legacy.
How your life or what mattered to you continues on to future generations.
"Cars 3."
While I appreciated "Cars 2" for expanding their strange vehicle-based world and for the implausible coolness that are spy cars, the characters and story fell flatter than that time my tire hit a plank full of nails. "Cars 3" continues the ongoing saga of Lightning McQueen discovering there's more to life than being really, really ridiculously fast.
While the teaser trailer seemed to imply that the horrific crash of our main protagonist be the main crux of the movie, there was already a buildup of the looming despair that "Toy Story 1& 3" touched upon with the Champ, the favorite, finding himself no longer wanted, to be replaced with something better with no hope of things ever returning to the way they were. In McQueen's case, the Lone Ranger himself Armie Hammer portrays the new hotness Jackson Storm as the Zoom to Lightning's Flash. Determined to trounce this new rival, the Wilsonmobile strives to be the best again through any means necessary, taking along his designated trainer, a wannabe racer herself, and they find themselves in one misadventure to the next all with the hope of putting Storm in his place.
The true beauty of this movie comes in the climax so I can't really spoil it. However, I will say that every part of our supposed main character's training journey is not just beneficial to him. Although, the visual beauty of the backgrounds and locations of this world is breathtaking, as if the people who worked on "The Good Dinosaur" threw their expertise into this film to make the movie more than just parked cars talking to each other in almost the same exact framing.
Funnily enough, I've been enjoying a lot of sequels which seem like the true sequel (or next installment) so much so that I'd like to strike the actual sequel from memory. That being said, I'm scratching "Cars 2" from my personal canon of how these movies happened.

Soooo the short in front of "Cars 3" struck a very odd nostalgic chord for me...who even remembers the show "Eek the Cat" that played on Fox Kids, and the weirdo segment on it known as "Klutter?"

Despicable Me 3
So like "Days of Future Past" and "Apocalypse," like "Kung-fu Panda 2 & 3," like "Catching Fire" and "Mockingjay," and most definitely like "Spider-man 2 & 3," where the 2nd installment of a franchise was so good you realize after the 3rd edition nothing could've topped it, "Despicable Me 3" hits me over the head with how positively amazing "Despicable Me 2" is in comparison.
They toned down almost everything in favor of being more kid-friendly in my opinion, with the exception being the bombastic villain this time being a refugee from the 80s, rife with mullet, 8-track tapes, and toyetic TV show, almost as if he were a much worse version of Star Lord.
The Grucy family conflict and theme was minimal, the Minion hijinks were not NEARLY as laugh-out-loud funny as they were in previous movies, and after (hilariously) writing off Dr. Nefario, the new major screw-upper is Gru's twin brother, leading to more antics of Steve Carell having to pick up the slack and save Steve Carell endlessly. About the only real thing this improved on was the ramifications of the Minions, after being established in their solo movie as only following the worst of the worst villains, still being attached to Gru despite him being a good guy now, and whether or not they should be true to their roots.
Good and funny, but lacked a bit of the heart and humor of the last two movies.

 Also, diminutive creatures, some with one-eye, singing a botched version of "I am the very model of a Modern Major General" seems really familiar...

The House
Somewhere out there, some filmmaker is going to have to rename his horror movie about a casino run by two psychopaths who find out they enjoying maiming others because Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler totally took that idea and made it a wacky comedy. Ridiculous premise, crude humor, a smidgen of wit and heart, and the all too tired trend of comedy movies these days of spending way too long a shot on a funny person hoping they say something funny. But I did laugh and I did enjoy the characters undergoing their Breaking Bad transformations.

Baby Driver
"Baby Driver" is another love letter from Edgar Wright to a genre and this time, the heist movie is his amour. Something between a perfectly syncopated music video and brilliant heist movie where the protagonist wants to be a good person but is tied up tight in a life of crime, this stunning thrill ride begs the question to the audience as they sit on the edge of their seats: "how much car-fu can your mind really take?" Star-studded performances complement the excellently chosen song selections as scene-per-scene you have a soundtrack to complement the tone and the characters' emotions. As the Mozart in a go-kart sinks further and further into his criminal activities, the climax essentially becomes one LONG and LOUD chase and you wonder if there's any hope for redemption and a happy ending.

Not actually a baby who drives...but the concept is still there.

Hacksaw Ridge

"When the mob and the press and whole world tell you to move, your job is plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth and tell the whole world, 'no you move.' " - Captain America and/or Agent 13

 When you're a nice guy, you tend to get beat up a lot. When you're Desmond Doss, you choose to get beat up because you're so firmly rooted in your faith, you believe the 10 commandments with all your heart. "Hacksaw Ridge" told the true story of a conscientious objector who felt duty-bound to serve his country but not kill her enemies. Instead he was the best medic who single-handedly (and with help from the Almighty) saved 75 lives in a cliffside warzone during World War 2 in one night.
Fantastic acting, gripping story as you wonder how this pacifist is going to end up in the Pacific theater and how he will do the Lord's bidding, and most important of all, the characters never seem like cardboard cutouts of wartime heroes, but are so very real in their emoting and acting. The only real nitpick is less about the movie and more about the quality of realism you keep in your war movie: gore. GORE FOR DAYS! Human beings getting pumped full of lead, having limbs blown out, and all other manner of violent gruesomeness makes this hard to watch at times.
Watch is to learn the story of how one man made a helluva difference without being twisted by what he considers the Dark Side.

For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.

Heartfall Arises
"Heartfall Arises" probably addresses the idea of a ghost in a shell better than the actual "Ghost in the Shell" movie, but not so much a soul being in a foreign artificial body but organ transplants being the vessels for the former soul.
An investigator hot on the trail of a Robin Hood/Punisher-like serial killer called The General, gets his quarry's heart due to a getting shot by him and him shooting him in the brain. A criminal psychologist is introduced with a crackpot theory that the organ donor's spirit might still be influencing the host's mind, and we see the subtle changes in the investigator, like having a propensity to big black jeeps now and eating spicy food. It gets really complicated when a copycat killer to the General arises and the investigator starts having feelings for the girlfriend the General left behind. FURTHERING complications is the revelation that the General's liver (and violent tendencies) went to another formerly mild-mannered host.
A great twisting Chinese movie full of intrigue and elevated by the performances of the two leads. Not only do the stakes involve innocent lives being threatened but the idea that maybe the killer's philosophy on the so-called victims might not be entirely wrong. The science of the organ transplant being essentially the Venom symbiote is complete ridiculousness, but you wonder just how much influence will spread to the righteous cop and the other guy.

American Assassin
"American Assassin" tells the story of how a wayward student with a grudge against his old sensei is beaten by the sensei's newest pupil.
...
So basically "Kung-Fu Panda" with less hilarity or Batman training Robin to stop Red Hood.
By the numbers action flick but of course Michael Keaton brings his A-game and is the best thing about this.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Sum up "Kingsman: The Golden Circle" in as confusing a way as possible? K.
"Posh British dudes team up with cowboys named after booze (and Elton John) to stop people from dancing til they die because nostalgic Julianne Moore wants to be famous."
Overall, a humorous and action-packed spy thriller that invigorates the genre while having amazing characters, as amazing an evil plot as the first film, and only marred by the times they cross the line in what is tasteful (about 3 instances so roughly the same as last time).
Also one of the best renditions of "Country Road" by John Denver as a farewell to a beloved character. 

There is no way you'll be prepared for Elton John Rider Kicking a mook in the face while mugging at the camera.

American Made
If anyone's ever played 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon, you can understand just how many connections someone can have to seemingly impossible people.
That's basically the gist of "American Made" where Tom Cruise's character, finds himself the most important person to several differing parties, on the legal, illegal, and everything in between spectrum, during the late 70s and early 80s. Truth be told, the story, while true, could not nearly be played off as entertaining as it was if not for the trademark Tom Cruise charisma. Add to the fact that several of the old timey references only seem as funny as they do because of how wacky the situation is played despite the seriousness.

A Silent Voice
Guilt: a fiend unlike any other, carrying grief around like so much heavy baggage ready to be unloaded on its unsuspecting victims.
Basically the theme around the Japanese animated film "Koe no Katachi" or in English, "A Silent Voice."
The audience is treated to a slice of the idyllic elementary school life of Shouya Ishida, which is quickly flipped on its head when the new girl to class is deaf. Despite her good nature and cheery personality, kids can always be counted on to be cruel, with the psychological bullying stemming from the girl students and the more overt teasing coming from Shouya. It gets really bad and she has to leave.
Cut to the less-than-ideal high school life of Shouya Ishida as he has become fully aware of how much a bully he was in his past and has grown withdrawn from everyone at school.
This changes when he has a chance encounter with the deaf girl from his past, and like the great atoners of cinema like Jean Valjean and Tony Stark, he sets himself on a new path of self-improvement starting with her. But can he, or she, really let go of the guilt and grief from their past and how it impacts their future?
I went into this movie expecting a bit of star-crossed lovers drama with an emphasis of physical hurdles like "Fault in our Stars" or "50 First Dates." What I didn't see coming was how *broken* BOTH parties were and how it affected their relationship as well as the fragile bonds with their families and classmates. The journey of these two is beyond gut-wrenching with harsh words and harder to stomach actions as they do their best to live their lives while trying to let others into their own.
Watch if you wanna feel feels.

They handed these promo posters out at the theater; despite this being anime, her hair wasn't NEARLY that outrageously pink...it was more a lightish brown,

Only the Brave
 In the interest of not badmouthing the real life heroes of "Only the Brave," I will only say that the movie about their exploits plays like any other movie that emphasizes brothers-in-arms, the families they leave behind, and the harrowing dangers they face nearly every day. The acting is top notch from A & B-listers like Jeff Bridges, Josh Brolin, Jennifer Connelly, and Miles Teller as you really care about these people as portrayed by their performance.

Thor Ragnarok
I will say that the progression of the Thor movies have been a strange one...Kenneth Brannagh gave us a serious drama about family and finding your place in the universe and being a hero...the 2nd one was to capitalize on Loki's newfound popularity, criminally underutilize a Doctor Who, try to funny it up with the Earthlings more, as well as throw another of the Infinity Stones in our face disguised as lava lamp goop...and now, "Thor Ragnarok" is the epicly funny story about defeating a sealed evil bent on destroying them Odin boys' world all while trying to fight their way home from space gladiatorial battle world run by Jeff Goldblum.
Honestly, the colors, the comedy, the excellent actor chemistry, the wonderfully menacing Cate Blanchett and amazingness of the cosmic locations give us all the grand of the Thor movies without the bland.
3/3 for funtimes at the movies in 2017 Marvel. Keep it up for 2018!

For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.

Both wielders of mighty bludgeons, magical, and will probably gain their luscious locks back in a 2D animated series.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
So when you get horrors from your game unleashed upon the world, it's Jumanji. When you get sucked into the game to experience its horrors, it's still Jumanji...pretty sure that's more the premise for several anime shows...
"Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle" brings the trapped-in-another-world cliches to the untamed wilds of fictional Africa. Four Breakfast Club stand-ins find themselves trapped in not just a video game, but avatars that are completely different from who they are. Truly though, that is the prime source of comedy in this movie, with the cognitive dissonance between the characters bringing forth the most laughs. The few gripes I have with this movie are nitpicks since the game world, and the calling out of its familiar tropes, complete with NPCs who spout just one line, illogical weaknesses, and the game itself being seriously hax, appeal to me, and the humorous situations and characters can satisfy me as great entertainment.  

For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.

How to blow up Kevin Hart

The Foreigner

"The Foreigner" breaks the worst rule of making any story worthwhile: YOUR MAIN CHARACTER IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO THE STORY! A terrorist bomb goes off in London and an elderly Chinese man's daughter is caught in the blast. Thus begins his roaring rampage of revenge against the evildoers who done the evil...except he doesn't. He goes to the authorities and hounds the one in particular who MIGHT know something about the ones responsible. Not only that, but he essentially stages a one-man-war against this government official and all his men, all in pursuit of something Pierce Brosnan doesn't know yet. While Jackie Chan does his gosh-darned best to be a credible threat and Rambo-wannabe, nothing he does in this movie has any consequence on the progression of the story. The fiends are found out through outside means without either of the main characters' involvement, a strike team was all set to take out the bombers without Jackie's martial arts prowess, and the final threat is neutralized through no means of either main character. Dumb story, dumber characters, and all the main action scenes were pretty much in the trailer. Do yourself a favor and remember the good ol' days when Jackie Chan was enough of a character to make a movie worth your time.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
"Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets" is what happens when you have a grand imagination-fueled sci-fi ride of grandeur, awe, and wonder...and then have the plot and dialogue written by what seemed to be middle schoolers who only know cliches. As humanity makes it through the cosmos in a space station cobbled together by several nations and planets' representative pieces, there are those who have to keep the peace. Enter Major Valerian and Sergeant Laureline, who find the last of an entire species in a other-dimensional bazaar. The critter is very important to a forgotten alien race and they want it back. A grand conspiracy is discovered and of course many ETs are either helping or hindering the investigation.

This is the stuff sci-fi dreams are made of; futuristic technology, bizarre and amazing alien species by the boatload, sweet spacecraft, and alternate dimensions & how to interact throughout em. However, the main problem stems from cliche character archetypes, bad typical lines as if spouted from a robot, meandering and disjointed plot, and a twist you can see coming because you actually paid attention during the prologue.

For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.

John Wick Ch.2
The Boogeyman is back!
"John Wick Ch. 2" picks up very shortly after the events of the first movie and the audience is again treated to the unstoppable hitman of hitmen being the best at what he does, and what he does isn't very nice.
Shortly after the events of the first movie, he is all set to settle down for a quiet life with his new dog, but because he made himself get back in the biz, a crime boss comes a-knocking to call in a blood debt. So John's back into the highly elaborate world of the assassin elite, taking him to Rome where an unexpected twist sends him on the run from more trained assassins, bodyguards, and just people who wish to do him harm. Will he make it out alive or will Morpheus come for him for the long sleep? (half true on that one. hahaha)
Tight and gripping action designed to keep you awake, with gunplay and choreography that will make you think taking a life was just so simple. The world building is expanded to an almost ludicrous level, with me going so far as to describe this as the parallel Earth where everyone's possibly an assassin or fairly trained killer.
If you loved everything about the first movie, you'll love this one too.

Just DON'T ask him to do One Last Job for you...it's never just One Last Job

Downsizing

"Downsizing" is a great concept but unfortunately, it is absolutely not enough to carry a 2 hr+ film. In the effort to reduce humanity's strain on the planet, Swedish scientists manage to find a way to shrink people down to the size of GI Joe. So it costs a lot less to sustain somebody if they can get by living in dollhouses and eating portions that even ants would scoff at. So from there we follow a pathetic excuse for a character, Matt Damon, as he drifts through his newfound tiny existence...except since almost everything is scaled down to him and his fellow 5 cm tall community, it's a lot less "The Borrowers" and more like "Oh look at this giant thing in an otherwise very normal setting."

In addition to the preachy save-the-planet spiel, there is also the attempt to make the commentary that there will always be the haves and the have-nots. Matt Damon manages to find a Vietnamese maid who shows him the other side of this toy story, and really the only problem with this is the rampant racial stereotypical depiction of the poor. BUT THEN IT DOESN'T END THERE and they journey to Norway where they meet a community hellbent on living out the doomsday scenario in a Noah's Ark-like bunker.  He almost gets roped into joining them but changes his mind and goes back to his idyllic life of flip-flopping between extravagance and helping the poor.

AND NONE OF IT REALLY MAKES ME THINK I'M WATCHING ANYTHING OF WORTH! It drags and drags and drags. The scenario is hardly worth noting until something reminds you that these people are actually very small. Even the shrinking process is needlessly extended, detailing shaving heads, removal of waste, dentistry, and other mundane prepwork. Do yourself a favor and come up with your own imaginary scenarios of how living like Arriety and other Borrowers would be like instead of watching this movie.

Otherwise, a very normal scene of Matt Damon at a party...with a normal sized flower...because we need to constantly be reminded he's small.

Maximum Effort to Try Everything in 2016

Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro
You know me; I'm a sucker for heist movies since it usually shows how a well executed plan can come together to make a simple fetchquest all that more intricate.
Now when you make a heist film with a ton of Miyazaki magic, you get "Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro."
Technically a franchise film about an infamous gentleman thief and his crew (including the Interpol agent who hounds him), it is so full of the typical early Hayao Miyazaki flair, that it can be forgiven for little things like how Lupin and the female thief Fujiko know each other and who the random samurai wandering a European landscape is. Centers mainly around a counterfeiting ring of global proportions and of Lupin's brush with the small duchy of Cagliostro and how he intends to save the princess held against her will.
As things go south, and things look bleak, the man manages to find new ways to get out of scrapes and that's admirable.
The art is gorgeous, the action frenetic and fun (slapstick as only early anime and 'toons can give ya), and the characters are engaging and entertaining.
Enjoy the chase!

 

Not on this completely pointless list, but the spaghetti and meatballs from this film looked beyond scrumptious.

Driving Miss Wealthy
Another of my all-time favorite Chinese movies, "Driving Miss Wealthy," or the more accurate translation "The Best Filipino (Maid)," is one that can give you a bunch of gut-busting laughs.
A Hong Kong cop who takes any odd job he can is hired to pose as a Filipino chauffeur/bodyguard to look after the beyond-spoiled, highly-gullible daughter of a millionaire. Her father knows of her flaws and with the help of "Mario," he hatches a plan to pretend to be comatose, and leaving nothing to the daughter. This forces her to live in the slums with her very best Filipino manservant. The two learn to live together and work hard to get back on top. In addition to this tale of learning independence and hard work, it's a completely goofy love story.
The performance of the main character is the show stealer as he can effortlessly change his tone to heavily Tagalog accented Cantonese to his normal demeanor of no-nonsense bodyguard. While that may seem racist to some people, he does it with good taste and no negativity.
If you have a chance to watch it, highly recommend this rom-com of epic proportions.
 
Deadpool
"Wow, breaking the fourth wall while breaking the fourth wall. That's like... sixteen walls!"
With the exception of quite a few dramatic and/or romantic moments, "Deadpool" is a film with non-stop black comedy, 4th Wall breakings, and the deconstruction, calling out, & subtle jabs at the superhero movie genre.
Tons of fun (for those with a more twisted sense of fun), and the main character is VERY true to his comics counterpart, an antihero that revels in his powers, violence, and talkative loon status. In addition to being really funny, the action is well done and the emotional investment has its moments of getting the audience to actually care.
Of course, it is nowhere near the title of "the best superhero movie ever," but I expected nothing less for a film starring this ridiculous rogue.
Highly recommended to comic book and superhero movie fans...and just them. Don't bring the family along. Older or younger will not get a kick out of this.
For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer (complete with actual Ryan Reynolds voicework), go here.
For a more condensed and entertaining (spoiler-filled) review, go here.

Because I refuse to let this song die. 2012 wasn't that long ago!

Fury
"Fury" tells the same truth that's been told in so many war movies:
War is hell, but having comrades you can rely on makes it somewhat bearable.
Excellent action and all the horrors of World War II are brought to the forefront, but strangely enough meanders pointlessly around the middle just for a taste of "normalcy" and really, it dragged the movie down for what seemed like a mind-numbing 30 minutes or so. Best scene of course, is the climax with the main cast having to survive an indefensible crossroads in a glorious last stand in an immobile tank.
Recommended.

Actually no. The men involved were very smart and stayed IN the tank for the most part.

Burnt
"If you have one Michelin Star, you're Luke Skywalker. If you have two, you're whoever Alec Guiness was. If you have three, you're Yoda."
"But what if he's Darth Vader?"
When a disgraced rock star tries to break back into the scene, do we want him to succeed? Hellz yeah. We want to believe that crippling setbacks can be overcome, and that we can get back into the game like nothing ever happened.
That's "Burnt" in a nutshell.
Bradley Cooper plays a chef who had too much success too early and after a self-imposed exile, goes to London to try to achieve his 3rd Michelin Star. After assembling his crack team of specialists, he seems to be all set to take the culinary world by storm. The only problem is...he's more Gordon Ramsay than Gordon Ramsay. In his striving for perfection in his restaurant, he isolates himself and his attempts to interact with regular humanity is stilted.
Can he overcome all these hangups and earn Jedi Mastery?
Overall, great film with Cooper playing simultaneously the fiercest oni and the warmest captain of the cooking ship.

Having never eaten anything cooked with the "sous vide" method, I really didn't understand this movie's...BEEF with this process.

The Revenant
So vengeful spirits that haunt you from beyond the grave? Let's see, there's Sadako from "the Ring," Kayako from "the Grudge," not counting Ryan Reynolds in "RIPD," and joining their ranks is Leonardo DiCaprio in "the Revenant."
This Oscar-winning performance has Leonardo DiCaprio face the harshness of the wilderness after being left for dead by his fur-trapping buddies after getting attacked by Native Americans. He was left intentionally dead by new Mad Max since that guy's character is truly despicable, confirmed at the point where he kills he kid who plays DiCaprio's son. And even after all the trials consisting of snow-covered mountains, amoral Frenchmen, and perilous falls, he goes on the roaring rampage of revenge against the Bane of his existence.
Don't lose your waaaaaaaay! 
For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.

Because if they didn't give him an Oscar for his performance in the Revenant, he would've surely killed himself in his next movie to achieve it...seriously, the man suffered hard for his artsy movie.

The Good Dinosaur
Well Pixar ol boy, you raised my hopes with "Inside Out" and you made me cry with "The Good Dinosaur" and not in a good way! 
Well, give Pixar some props for making the first Western set before the idea of cowboys or horses, giving us a fuly Western atmosphere through sprawling landscapes and an almost "Magnificent Seven" score. In a funny twist, it is reminiscent of another Pixar movie, "Brave." What "Brave" accomplished with hair, "The Good Dinosaur" accomplished with beautiful landscapes, given that both are feats in animation. Also taking pages from the playbook of "Brave," the story and plot are pretty much two other Disney properties mashed together; while "Brave" is essentially "Brother Bear" meets "Freaky Friday" and set in Scotland,  "the Good Dinosaur" tries its hand at being a mish-mash of "the Lion King" and "Finding Nemo" set in the prehistoric frontier. It is slightly darker in tone as well, with essentially cultist pterodactyls that demand sacrifice, Native American Styrcosaurus who might have ingested one too many natural hallucinogenic substances, our two protagonists tripping out on their own hallucinogenic substances, and Sam Elliot as a cattle-herding T-Rex who has to ferociously fight cattle-rustling velociraptors,
But despite all this madness, there is a certain charm that I'm sure will be some 6 year old's gateway into dinosaur love as it was for somebody of the previous generation and "Land Before Time."

As we all know, Disney is no stranger to having their character undergo the most disorienting of delusions.

The Intern
For movies like "the Intern" you wonder just how well do the scriptwriters understand real life. Unless the actual old people in their lives are as genuine, heartfelt, and cool as Robert DeNiro plays his character, I do believe they're never really met an average senior citizen before.
Trying to fill a void in his life, Robert DeNiro's character becomes an intern for an e-shopping business, reporting directly to the workaholic boss, played by Anne Hathaway, and eventually reaches a point where he becomes her most trusted advisor in matters both personal and professional.
Really nice story and just seeing how DeNiro's godfatherly, old-school charm has  positive impact on everyone at the workplace.

Zootopia
"Who's your friend who makes you laugh and cry?"
DIS-NEY! DIS-NEY!
"Who's the best with talking animals?"
DIS-NEY! DIS-NEY!
"Who has the best voice-acting casts?"
DIS-NEY! DIS-NEY!
"Zootopia" is the new amazing film from Disney animation and as is typical of their films of late, it is full of top-notch animation, fantastic voice-acting cast, intriguing story, and unbelievably human characters (even though, they are, in fact, all animals).
The two main leads are the best guides to this incredible world, the optimistic and high-energy bunny cop voiced by Ginnifer Goodwin and the ever-hustling, fast-talking fox voiced by Jason Bateman. Judy the bunny is a great determinator character and doesn't let anything get her down, and Nick the fox is another lovable rogue in the same vein as Aladdin and Flynn Rider. As they solve the mystery plaguing the city, we also dig into their pasts and motivations as well as enjoy the antics of the creature-themed city and animal inhabitants around them.
What's even more fascinating is that the movie seems to take our current world drama about racism and turn it into a child-friendly, colorful, easy-to-digest story with the morals being two-fold: love your neighbor and try to be more than you are.
For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.

So after being one of the protagonists of the most successful Disney movies ever (Frozen), what else does she do for the Mouse? Be a her most favorite animal ever. No really guys, she LOVES SLOTHS!

Neighbors
When you push past the crude sex, drugs, alcohol, and other bodily functions jokes in "Neighbors," it's actually the tale of two new parents, played by Seth Rogan and Rose Byrne, who think they can reconnect with their wild and crazy glory days when a the house next door becomes a fraternity house, but upon the realization that this party life ain't for them anymore, come up with ingenious ways to fight to take back their tranquility and mundane lives. At the same time, the fraternity, led by Zac Efron and Dave Franco, have their ultimate goal of being the wildest partyers tested when confronted with their own looming future of adulthood and the prospect of growing old and boring like their neighbors.
TL;DR clash of clashes between two parties whose very way of life is threatened by the other...in suburbia. 

The Jungle Book (2016)
In the grand total of 3 direct Disney adaptations of their own animated features (4 if your count Maleficent), Jon Favreau's "The Jungle Book" has surpassed my expectations and made the story pretty darn amazing.
The characters are all pretty much spot-on, with their celebrity voice-overs doing them great justice (of note, Ben Kingsley playing the commanding protector and Bill Murray being the lovable slacker with a good heart), and some characters have even been improved upon, notable amongst them being the wolf pack family and Mowgli himself. In this version, he's not so much the Load, the one to be rescued CONSTANTLY; instead, they made him the innovator, the bucker of tradition, and pretty much leagues more capable than previously thought possible. Another interesting twist on a familiar character is King Louie, or should I say Don Louie. Complete with his new gangster persona is his new standing as a mythical, huge hulking ape instead of a jive-talkin' orangutan.
Behind the story we all know is this interesting, strangely political power balance trying to be achieved, with Shere Khan exerting a tyrannical dominance over all the jungle creatures, despite logic dictating that the majority of these creatures, having human-like intelligence, should be able to fight back against one hateful, racist tiger. And not until Mowgli, trying to find his place in the world, realizes where his responsibilities and home really lie, becomes an unlikely, unwilling figurehead of the rebellion against angry, stripey kitty.
For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.

 

HILARIOUS reference to the fact that Christopher Walken voices King Louie 

Sherlock: The Abominable Bride

Dunno if it really counts as a movie, but "Sherlock: the Abominable Bride" sure felt like one. Finally putting them Baker Street Boys in their proper time period, they try to solve a mystery of a vengeful ghost lady, but is she really? And is everything as it seems?
Great acting, lots of great set pieces and costumes, turning our modern crime drama back into the period piece it's supposed to be, fascinating story, and just references to the classic works of Arthur Conan Doyle make it a grand ol' mega episode.

Funnily enough, I was able to deduce how the Abominable Bride was able to ghost her way around because of an old episode of "Magic School Bus" that explained this old stage trick.

Gods of Egypt
Oh lawd above..."Gods of Egypt" was a marvelous and spectacular piece of crap.
If I were to explain a film's plot badly, it would sound a little too much like the Lion King...except that Scar, as played by Gerard Butler, went and disfigured Simba, who has to regain his honor and retake the throne after some time away from the kingdom, Timon is trying to save the soul of his dead lover, and...Rafiki as played by Geoffrey Rush, is on a river boat in space, trailing the sun behind him and fending off Galactus/Parallax from devouring his discworld.
While the plot is cliche, the characters ridiculously 2 dimensional, the effects laughably cheesy, the lines very cringeworthy, and the actor chemistry being nonexistent, it is a fantastic (albeit stupid as all heck) take on the weirdness of the Ancient Egyptian mythology. Save this one for a bad movie night.

When Captain Barbossa finds another boat to commandeer, he saves us all!

X-Men Apocalypse
"If we can agree on one thing, the 3rd film is always the worst." - Jean Grey, in this movie speaking the truth.
While this isn't a strictly the third film, "X-men Apocalypse" is the 3rd time they've used the cast from the prequels, so I'm counting it as a trilogy. While the first movie had compelling characters, an interesting setting in both time and environment, and the most bromantic Xavier and Magneto have ever been, the 2nd movie gave us characterization in spades, decent action, beloved actors, and crisscrossing the timestreams for great effect. This one...gave us a Quicksilver scene that completely trumped the previous one, because he's saving people all over the X-mansion to the sweet techno sound of Eurythmics' Sweet Dreams...

When an ancient evil is unleashed upon the world in the 80s, we get to see our favorite Mutants (yes the favs, not like the ragtag bunch in First Class) band together for the first time to take down the Mutant delusional enough to believe he's a god and with the hax&OP powers to back up that claim.
While I mentioned that Days of Future Past had so much character building, this one wasn't devoid of it either, most noticeable in the scenes with Magneto and with the newbies. And while the action and effects are decent, there really isn't anything outstanding. The best thing about this would probably that they're finally getting the look of the Xmen right, giving us the best costumes of the entire spectrum of Xmen movies.
Highly enjoyable but it succumbs to the same problem of "Kung-fu Panda 3": after getting blown away by the 2nd installment, and the 3rd installment just leaves you feeling not as fulfilled, you tend to feel like it was worse than it was.
For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.

For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.

I bet my inhuman love for cats counts as a mutation.

Now You See Me 2
When the hustlers get hustled by Harry Potter of all people, you know that this film might be a bit ridiculous.
"Now You See Me 2" gives us our previous pretentious titled Robin-Hood-MO stage magicians, the Horsemen, featuring Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Dave Franco, and peppy newcomer to supplant that redhead lass, Lizzy Caplan, in a bit of hot water, landing them in Macau. It's up to the uneasy alliance of Mark Ruffalo and Morgan Freeman, especially since we see some of their sordid history this time around, to help them out, especially after a high-stakes heist befitting their elaborate and elegant trickery.

The funny thing about this film is that it reels you in exactly in the same manner as the magicians these actors play, giving you a sense of mystery that you MUST keep on watching or else you'll miss something, or you go in hoping that their explanation won't leave you feeling completely stupid. And while the plot is fairly standard and the characters are more outrageous caricatures, you can't help but feel reeled in with the most burning of questions...is magic real here?
And despite Daniel Radcliffe being in this movie, he's strangely enough more of a tech wizard than a traditional wand-waving one.

Oh yeah. Jay Chou is in this movie too in a completely forgettable, blink-and-you'll-miss-him, role as a magic shopkeeper's grandson.

Divergent
Since "Divergent" put almost no effort into crafting an original story, characters, romantic subplot, dystopian future, nor tired YA novel series adaptation cliches, I shall only do the same and yoink from more creative descriptive minds than me:

Basically, caste system, specialized roles, a couple of chosen ones to fight the system, yadda-yadda-yadda.

Insurgent
So as much as I picked on "Divergent" for having no differences from other YA adaptations with a dystopian future and categorizations and stuff, it wasn't until "Insurgent" that I realized in what way it actually differs:
There is a HUGE emphasis on "Matrix"/"Inception" dream sequences / trip out delusions.
So a little step forward in making themselves at least more stunning visually than its previous film, but still not enough to make me enjoy the character or half-assed plot points.
Also, hi Wally West. Who knew you would pop up here before you even get your superspeed debut?
For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2
In another great instance of the trailers being completely misleading, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2" is NOT about the underage girl finding a nice Greek boy to marry and make Greek babies with.
Of the three major conflicts of the film, the biggest deal is allocated to Grandpa, who finds out, in his research for lawyer-friendly ancestry.com, that he was never legally married. So in addition to our main gal's daughter choosing to leave her crazy family to study elsewhere and the problem-solving Toula having to learn to let go of her family's issues and just be herself, it becomes a big ol buildup to the big fat Greek wedding of the elderly.
Really fun, wacky antics of so many crazy relatives, and super relatable to anyone who comes from a culture with a big emphasis on family.

Allegiant
"I guess it IS shocking to me. Shocking that the more I learn about the past, I feel like you're making the same mistakes over and over again," - Triss, talking about this movie?
With "Divergent" being a shameless ripoff of more popular films of the genre, and "Insurgent" being a little better since we get some character development and more emphasis on dream diving, where does "Allegiant" stand?
A big ol' frog's leap backwards.
We are given the same "don't trust the people in charge because they loco" song and dance from the new people in charge, we get the same Reed Richards betrays everyone brouhaha that worked SO VERY WELL the last couple times, the main protagonists are in the same kinda pickle that requires the other to valiantly unpickle them, and, of course, not a satisfying conclusion at all.
Good grief, somebody really needs to put this franchise out of their misery...how about you Netflix or Hulu?

Surely it's a red flag when one of these people is in charge of the whole scientific experiment society thing.

Free State of Jones
 Who remembers "Defiance?" The movie that features James Bond and (a) Sabertooth saving Jews during World War II by hiding out in a forest?
That's essentially what "The Free State of Jones" is.
Matthew McConaughey stars as the man who got fed up with the Confederate side during the end part of the American Civil War, and after going home, finds that the Confederate soldiers stationed there are worse than the people he's been fighting. Thus, he rebels even further and is hunted down. After taking refuge with some escaped slaves, he builds a community that defends themselves in a swamp, consisting of other Confederate deserters and more escaped slaves. Together, white and black, man and woman, fight as equals to defend themselves and what is rightfully theirs.
While this is a great premise upon itself, that's only the first half...the 2nd half is a lot more of a downer as McConaughey takes up the burden of helping the black population grow from being slaves to US citizens...a burden as anybody who paid attention in history class, and even paying attention to the current news, is an ongoing struggle.
A bit disjointed in its storytelling, but kind of makes up for it with the phenomenal acting and the grit & determination displayed by the characters.

Now just imagine what would've happened if Matthew McConaughey was replaced with Mike Myers.

Ghostbusters
Trepidation, cautious optimism, and just the loud wondering if whether or not the same lightning can be caught in a bottle were all reactions to when people saw the trailer.
Or in this case, the same ghosts of good feelings can be caught in the ghost trap.
I refer to it as Gal(!)Ghostbusters, but the powers that be simply call it "Ghostbusters," and while it is a fun ride and not what I would call a "love letter" (More like the rough draft of a note of longing you tape/magnet to a crush's locker), I cannot say it is better than the original.
While the first one's humor rests more solidly on deadpan delivery, quotable lines, and characters being lovably cuckoo, this version has a lot of times where the camera would just rest on the ladies and let them be their funny selves and ramble. The characters themselves are pretty much their actors with a few tweaks, with the exception of Kate Mckinnon who fully becomes an eccentric mad scientist with an almost permanent grin and larger than life attitude.
I'll have to credit this in the same way that I credited "Dawn of Justice" for being kind enough to resort to callbacks and references to the previous incarnation of the Paranormal Sentai Ghostbusters, but all in all that's just a cheap tactic for making weak movies seem strong. Overall, it's pretty much got the same blood running through its veins as "The Force Awakens" with it basically rehashing the first film to play it safe and to ease us into our familiar yet all-new surroundings, but with enough visual flair and "interesting" characters to be entertaining.
For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.

The rationale behind making the Ghostbusters into gals.
Who was the original ghost hunter?
Pacman.
What did Namco do to keep the game going even though nothing about it changed?
Woman.

Zoolander No. 2
The first "Zoolander" can best be summed up as "an absurdist comedy that still maintains the human element"
So when they make "Zoolander2," do we get more of what made the first one great even after all the jokes should be stale and tired?
Yes, yes we do.
But are the jokes stale and tired? I don't think so!
We are given the same Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller wacky chemistry, the same kind of mispronunciation gags, more completely out-of-left-field celebrity cameos, the continuation of nonsequiter scenes that just make you go "whaaaaaaat," further ridiculous conspiracies about the fashion industry, and yet again, Will Ferrell felt like taking crazy pills.
But as the first time was so bizarre and nonsensical in a good way, more of the same, with different situations and contexts, is greatly appreciated. It's exactly what you expect from a continuation of the chronicles of the bizarro world where really really really ridiculously good-looking people are so hot right now. 

This movie teaches us that apparently if enough people do the Blue Steel look, telekinesis spontaneously happens.

Jason Bourne
Let's talk about "shaky cam," the style of cinematography where you try to convey more action and "realism" by NEVER holding the camera still. The "Bourne" series of films have been called out on this seemingly major irritant to enjoyable viewing, but I must admit that it never bothered me before.
"Jason Bourne" however, has made me re-evaluate my position on this.
Roughly 80% of the movie is shot with the cameraman seeming to go through withdrawal symptoms. And I think I was able to forgive the shaky cam in the past because the action scenes were fast-paced, action-filled, and edited well enough for me to overlook it. Not so now since so much of the movie was just following people down hallways, streets, or other places on the way to the action. Build up to action scenes is a fine tactic, but when it drags on too long, there is no way the action scene will be mind-boggling enough to justify the slog.
And the story? What story? Most I could get was just that it was trying to be relevant because technology spying on us or something?

Suicide Squad
Having read a sparse amount of Suicide Squad, Secret 6, and other anti-hero/primarily-villains-you're-supposed-to-root-for teams by the fine people at DC, I already knew what the fundamental problem of "Suicide Squad" was going to be...they're touted as "bad guys" (and the movie will remind you of that CON-STANT-LY) but lo and behold, we sympathize with, enjoy watching, and ultimately WANT the "bad guys" to win.
Quite frankly, I don't believe anyone can be 100% a dick, but they sure did a poor job of establishing why the audience should feel aghast at any of their actions, even with gratuitous, quick-edited, and color-filled backstories for 3 of the 7 squad members.
So along with the mixed messages of how to feel about the characters, the best would have to be their boss, Amanda Waller (non-fat version) as played by Viola Davis. Having only seen one episode of "How to get away with Murder," I can only conclude that Viola is playing this role as an amped-up version of the teacher from that show. Manipulative, cold, and completely ruthless in her dealings with all living souls.
And based on my own predictions of the movie, it was way off. Tharja from Fire Emblem Awakening summoning an evil army of liquid tar people and a swirling vortex of terror and lightning to take over the world was a far cry from what most people were hoping for, that after a warm-up act with the magical lady of doom, that they'll focus on attacking the Joker. The Joker himself, hyped as he was for being such a radically different take on the Jokers we're used to seeing, became no more than a glorified cameo with some plot significance...like Wonder Woman in "Dawn of Justice."
Enjoyable, with (relatively) likable characters, and a most basic story...unlike the previous two DC movies, which gave us enjoyable, but with majority unlikable characters and convoluted-to-the-point-of-disgust plots. 
For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here and here.

Not a bad guess; and there really was such a petty request from an inmate.

Batman: Attack on Arkham
In the continuing trend of WB animation churning out a better quality movie than the live-action blokes, "Attack on Arkham" is the superior Suicide Squad movie.
Whilst the live-action version seemed to think that what this movie needed was honor amongst thieves and camraderie out of nowhere, we rarely get that in the animated version, the closest we get to them actually coming together is several instances of watching each other's backs between the beast and the (ice-cold) beauty, and Harley & Deadshot having a romp in the sheets. The rest of the time, it's a lot of backstabbing, double crossing, differences in ideologies, snark at their teammates' expense, and a whole host of other issues you get when you force DANGEROUS CRIMINALS into a group situation for a goal that they all can't agree on.
Plus, the threat is much more manageable for characters of their caliber: sneak into the loony bin, steal a thing, cause tons of havoc, and leave, hopefully without inciting the wrath of the Bat or the Clown (didn't work). Much better setup than "save the world from crazy Ancient Mayan belly-dancer."
But the biggest saving grace of the animated movie? PEOPLE ACTUALLY DIE! I can't believe I'm saying this about a group of people I'm supposed to root for, but when you want the bad guys stopped, you want them taken out. Kill count for Suicide Squad: 2/9. Kill count for Attack on Arkham: 4/7
If you want to introduce yourself to what the Suicide Squad is all about, do yourself a favor and watch this movie before you see the one where they're all ohana. 

It's funny because Harley kept calling Deadshot "cowboy" and even though this version isn't even remotely close to resembling Will Smith, parallel was made in my mind. ^0^

Kubo and the Two Strings
For too long the name Kubo has been associated with the hack who came up with the manga series "Bleach," but now, the public consciousness will thankfully be talking about a better Kubo.
"Kubo and the Two Strings" has the hallmarks of many a great Japanese myth, a simple hero, accompanied by fantastical creatures, goes on an epic fetchquest to vanquish the monsters that have taken so much from him. But the funny thing is, it's a wholly original idea, from the same folks who made stop-motion classics, such as "Coraline." Not only is the artistry of the film a gorgeous marvel, but the characters and story are phenomenal, full of laughs, tragedies, and humanity, as evidenced by the amazing voice-acting work and creativity in the settings and lore.
Definitely a must-see if you're a fan of the best kind of puppet shows.
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.

Fire breathing chicken from Japan? Where have I seen that one before...

Ip Man 3
What's this? An Ip Man movie without the classification of any one race as inherently a-holes? Miracles!
"Ip Man 3" continues the story of the man with the fast fists and the calmest disposition who fights the power. In the first film, he fought the Japanese. In the 2nd, he fought the British. In this one, he fights organized crime as they set out to terrorize his son's school.
While that might seem like a downgrade, I do enjoy that the bad guys are bad guys; simple as that. And the end-fight between their boss, played by Mike Tyson trying his darnedest to make his Cantonese sound rethpectable, and our hero is truly amazing, bringing the previous boxer vs martial artist fight in the 2nd film to shame.
As always though, it's not just about fantastic fights, but it's also about Man learning how to be more of a caring family man, and being (even more) warmer towards his fellow man. All culminating in his final fight not actually being for national pride nor survival, but more of a friendly (but still intense) bout between two practitioners of the same style, departing not as enemies but as respected martial artists.
Also, young Bruce Lee stand-in is hilarious in all his attempts to channel the spirit of the legend.

Storks
As far as movie plots go, how much more nonsensical can you get than forming a world around the collective tall-tale of squeamish parents who don't want to explain what's the real deal about the stuff between your legs?
"Storks" may lack an engaging plot and any semblance of common sense in this mad mad mad world, but it is truly a cartoon in all sense of the word, comparable to the energy, delivery, and straight up comedy gold to stuff like Chuck Jones and Genndy Tartakovsky. The characters are all amazingly funny (except one little weirdo who every time he appeared on screen just made things awkward and sucked me out of the movie), with the two main leads supplying most of the humor, essentially turning this movie into a most delightfully zany adventure with Andy Samberg and Pinkie Pie.
It's not purely a barrel of laughs though. There is a a center of heartfeltness and unbearable cuteness, and it balances out this film fairly well.
Overall, I am starting to believe in Warner Bros Animation again. To further emphasize their new masterful handle on animation and humor, they included a short in front of this movie "built" in the same vein as the LEGO Movie. Watch this movie if you want to laugh.

So this movie basically depicted wolves the same way that "Finding Nemo" showed us how moonfish swarming worked.

Chef
Having only seen Jon Favreau's acting chops through his depiction of Tony Stark's bumbling bodyguard/driver, I didn't know what to expect out of "Chef."
Thankfully, he delivers with a performance full of passion and heart.
Favreau stars as a chef at the end of his rope in almost every aspect of his life, but after a turnaround, he finds a way to make food he wants, be his own boss, and bond with his young son: have his own food truck. What follows is the journey of a man across the country, picking up local flavors and establishing precious memories with his boy.
Each of Favreau's friends, notable stars like Robert Downey Jr, Scarlett Johanson, and John Leguizamo, churn out good performances and give you believable characters. But the real star is the scrumptious-looking food as it's prepared and as it's served. Just try not feeling hungry after seeing the man prepare a Cuban sandwich of dreams.

It sure ain't that simple...you need a sandwich press too!

Tropic Thunder
Truly a film for movie lovers, "Tropic Thunder" brings the laughs at this ridiculous behind-the-scenes look at the struggle of making a movie when everyone has issues. Deep and thoroughly insane issues.
All the actors are phenomenal to watch, including by far one of the most convoluted performances by Robert Downey Jr. and the most entertainingly obnoxoious, foul-mouthed, and belligerent cameo from Tom Cruise.
Watch this if you're in for a laugh at the expense of the movie industry.

If you give Jack Black enough cocaine, marvelous things will happen.

Hellboy
 I always found the phrase "better the devil you know than the devil you don't" a little bit weird because who wants to be familiar with a demon?
Well, if he's Ron Perlman depicting a stereotypical red devil (complete with horns and a tail) but who also thinks muttonchops works well with Japanese man-bun and has a soft spot for kitties and pancakes? Hell yeah, "Hellboy" is the demon to know.
Brought about by wacky Nazis tampering with the natural order, but taken in by a kind American paranormal expert, this monstrous figure is part of a secret government agency that deals with the otherwordly entities way out of the jurisdiction of the Men in Black and the Ghostbusters. His latest adventure involves foiling an evil plot by a steampunk cyborg Nazi ninja and Rasputin himself because nobody wants hellhounds and lawyer-friendly Eldritch abominations around right?
At times, this Guillermo del Toro flick has all his trademarks of edgy, creepy but not gross, tendency to use practical and CG effects, and lots of visual flair during action scenes, but at other times, the acting is a little stilted and you're only drawn in by how good the visuals are. But then again, I was never a fan of the art style of the graphic novels made famous by Mike Mignola, so as far as direct translations goes, it made it look much better.
Watch it if you're feeling like seeing how the things that go bump in the night get bumped back by a giant stone fist.

 

Probably my future...sans the whole ushering-in-the-apocalypse-via-space-squid thing.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
So what happens when you throw in a heaping helping of X-men, add a little bit of Percy Jackson, put in a dash of Groundhog Day, toss in some horrific Slenderman aesthetic to the villains, and marinate it all in Tim Burton's brain?
"Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children."
An interesting tale of how an ordinary sixteen-year old finds how his grandfather used to be involved with a bunch of mutant children and their Time Lord/Animorph headmistress, and how this Ender becomes integral in their struggle against invisible tentacle monsters led by Samuel L. Jackson.
Fascinating adaptation and full of Tim Burton flavor. The best thing though? It doesn't BEG for a sequel, but gently raises its hand asking the masses for a new chance in the future.

Scary Samuel L. Jackson transforms from scary to

SCARIER!!

Star Trek Beyond
Say what you will about the JJ Abrams vision of Star Trek, it's definitely full of excitement.
This is fully embodied in "Star Trek Beyond," where they got the director of the Fast and the Furious movies to give us some of the best action featuring the crew of the Enterprise.
The trade-off is that despite each of the main crew members getting their time to shine onscreen, the characterization is not as strong as the previous movies which really dug into the characters' essence. (well, main characters of Kirk and Spock) Little bits of growth, and it's more in the Scotty department with his 2nd assistant/potential love interest of Jayla, the lone badass survivor on a hostile planet, which only makes sense since Simon Pegg was one of the brilliant minds who had a hand in crafting this movie as well.
Overall, another grad adventure in space and in a foreign planet, meeting new people, finding new (old) technology, and letting their characters shine in these predicaments.

And the moral of this story? When confronted with a killer swarm from beyond the stars, YOU SHOW THEM THE POWER OF ROCK!

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Have you ever seen those people who bring animals onto the late night talk shows and are clearly more at ease being with animals than with people, and will excitedly tell you that the potentially dangerous creatures they have brought with them are actually wonderful and amazing and you should love them?
Eddie Redmayne in "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them."
While he's not the most charismatic character in this movie, his love for the wondrous CG animals is almost infectious, almost to the point of Steve Irwin levels.
What could've been simply an amazing film about a wizard in New York City during the Roaring 20s doing his best to keep his world-class menagerie contained is elevated even further with a tale about neo-witch burners, a dangerous force never before explored in the wizarding world, an evil warlock's machinations behind the scenes, and the zoologist and his new friends getting caught up along in the maelstrom.
Great story, imagination beyond compare, and acting that's pretty good, if not a little stiff and wooden at first.
Highly recommend especially if you like critters of all shapes, sizes, and temperaments.
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.

Behold, the most famous Hufflepuff of all...yes even moreso than that kid who turned into a vampire.

Moana
If there's one thing we can rely on Disney for, it's bringing its special lens of storytelling onto different parts of the world and making movie magic.
Now that lens has turned to the Pacific Islands and some of its myths and legends, and we get "Moana" (Or "Moana: Densetsu no Umi" or "Vaiana" in certain parts of Europe).
This is movie has the hallmarks of all the great Disney classics of the past, while making things cool to look at with modern technology. The main character herself is like a proper fusion of Mulan, Merida, and Ariel's character, and while seeming familiar in those ways, she has her own way of being herself, and that makes her a great addition to the long list of Disney leading ladies. The 2nd protagonist Maui, is Dwayne Johnson performing in a way akin to the spirit of Robin Williams' Genie but also adding the facets of grumpiness and massive ego to this gem of a character.
Despite the songs being penned by one of the great up&coming Broadway musical songwriters, something about the music is holding me back from enjoying them completely. While lyrical, catchy, and using the native instruments to add great atmosphere to the movie, none of the songs really seem to stick with me. With the exception of Moana's "I want" song being a great anthem for the character and the actress giving it her all vocally, I don't know if any of these will have the same hummable quality as stuff done in the Lion King, Aladdin, or Tangled (so thankfully, no endless spamming of another "Let it go"). Overall, if you're a Disney fan, this will be another enjoyable adventure brought to you by the Mouse. To which I'm pretty sure he'll simply say, "you're welcome."

So this is all it takes to have the Ocean choose you as its agent of change. Just imagine!
"My name is Stitch, from the island of Kauai. You will board my boat (draws guns) or else!"

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
"I am one with the Force, the Force is with me."
"Just because I cannot see it, doesn't mean I can't believe it."
- both dudes who dress in black & white
"Rogue One" is the prequel to Star Wars we've all been waiting for. The cast gives us much more diversity in that Galaxy Far Far Away than simply 'Mericans (&Brits?) and Aliens. Action packed, well acted, and a story that is leagues above any ol' rehashing of a familiar script.
The only gripe I have is that it is super hard to remember the characters' names; I only referred to them as their archetypes: protagonist girl, spy guy, blind kung-fu master, gun guy, the pilot, and the robot.
Apologies if this is short, but to reveal any more will be super spoiler stuff. 
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.

When you have Alan Tudyk voicing a character, reference to past roles MUST be made.

The Magnificent Seven (2016)
Sometimes when a remake rolls around, what is usually expected that if nothing else, the visuals and the action are improved from the original. This is exactly the case for the 2016 version of "The Magnificent Seven."
Plot's the same really; banditos, nay hired white mercenaries under the bidding of a robber baron, besiege a simple town, and the townsfolk find themselves saviors. What DID change however was the diversity of the cast. In comparison to the original, they still gave us accomplished gunslingers, but now their job classes range from bounty hunter to religious-minded hermit and gambler played by Chris Pratt to...Chinese ninja played by a Korean?
All in all, this update gives us exactly what we expected out of a classic Western, but with much more modern action sensibilities.
So skip that game of Bang! and check out this star-studded shoot-em-up.

For all those decrying Hollywood for being bereft of ideas, plz. That's been going on since Moses was a baby.