2014 movies 2nd half

Now you See Me
...now you don't...bother reading the rest.
But seriously, "Now you See Me" was hyped up to be the movie about stage magicians becoming bank robbers and running from the law.
Half true.
It started off as a fun flick with stage magicians being Lupin III complete with their own personal Zenigata hounding them whilst cursing their name, but then it dives a bit into "National Treasure" conspiracy waters and that leaves a funny taste in your mouth.

 

Don't know why, but I always associate this phrase with stage magicians.

Stargate
"Stargate" is essentially Disney's "Atlantis: the Lost Empire" done with adults...and more aliens. The ancient Egyptians might've stumbled onto something big and it's up to James Spader's nerdy character to find out what it is.
Spoiler alert, it's aliens and interplanetary travel.
Then Spader and some military types go to Egyptians-Stole-Our-Style planet and have to contend with a wannabe god. Hijinks ensue and fighting of the power.

That really weird feeling you get upon realization that the two surviving army blokes are the basis for the names of 2/4 Penguins of Madagascar...

Robin Hood: Men in Tights
Mel Brooks takes a stab at how much spoofery can be done with the Robin Hood mythos. Hilarious characters as is typical of Mel Brooks films, but this movie seems to rely a little more on popular culture references and anachronisms. Overall, it is still a fun flick for seeing the classic Mel Brooks humor scope affect medieval times.

American Hustle
"American Hustle" brought the laughs from a darker part of the humor spectrum. The funny is more in how ridiculous the time setting is (70s! complete with disco scene), and how outright certifiably crazy the characters are. jennifer lawrence is outright looney, basically a more off-the-deep-end version of Jenny from "Forrest Gump," and the rest of the cast is varying degrees of psychotic, neurotic, erotic, and several more words that end in otic.

I will never understand the struggle some men have to make their hair absolutely perfect...

The World's End
"The World's End" stars Simon Pegg and is directed by Edgar Wright. Based on those two criterion alone, you know it's funny.
One man tries to relive his glory days and drags his closest childhood friends along to drink his way through their hometown. However, dark happenings become revealed and the 5 blokes have to fight their way through monstrosities from another world. Drunken brawls never looked so good and choreographed so awesomely. and like always, its subtle message revolves around life changes everybody goes through, but then not every midlife crisis involves aliens taking over your hometown now does it?
I can't recommend watching this movie enough since it is truly a visual and storytelling marvel. Nothing I say will do it any justice so just watch it.
For a more in-depth look at why this film is so funny from a purely analytical standpoint, go here.

There is great fuss about calling the invaders "robots" when there's nothing really mechanical or robotic about them...best to describe them would be Barbie dolls with ink-blood. =/

The Artist  
"The Artist" is a strange movie since it's the most throwback of throwbacks regarding film as an art style. While I do feel like the emotions and message were coming across just fine, I still feel like stuff was missing...oh yeah, DIALOGUE!
A famous actor of the early days of film struggles to find relevance as he is pushed aside in favor of the new-fangled "talkie" movies and how he simultaneously hates and loves the new actress that has supplanted him as the hottest blockbuster.
While I did mention that it is an artistic endeavor, most of the film feels very bland since the vital ingredient of talking is absent from this loaf of bread of a movie, leaving us with little more than unleavened bread for communion at the Church of Cinema.
For a more condensed and entertaining (spoiler-filled) review, go here.

Looper
A creatively strange, yet familiar-feeling film. Part of it is sci-fi, fugitive, action-y goodness, but then the other part is city boy spoiled by its vices learns to live simply on a farm and love the people he's shacking up with. Not to mention timey-wimey, wibbly-wobbly, nonsense.
In the near future, the way that organized crime gets away with murder is to send victims to the past where it's a lot easier to dispose of bodies. The only problem is when executioners find themselves having to kill their future selves. Such a problem befalls Joseph Gordon-Levitt as old him, portrayed by Bruce Willis, is on a mission to stop his younger self from becoming such a bad guy...of course things go awry. Bruce Willis goes on the run and Joseph Gordon-Levitt ends up in a rural farmhouse to find the simpler joys in life as well as detox from gangster life.
Overall, it does exactly as the trailers promise, but I feel like it didn't go all the way with the concept, seeking to tie our protagonist's fate to the rise of a villain in the future we don't even care about instead of giving us more John McClane chases Robin to stop a bad future.

Sadly, there is only one scene where young Joseph Gordon-Levitt interacts with "old Joseph Gordon-Levitt" (really Bruce Willis) without them trying to kill each other.

The Forbidden Planet
THE most grandaddy of sci-fi films and it still stands up great. It's a twist you'll kind of see coming but at the same time, if you're familiar with "Star Trek" or "Dr. Who" shenanigans, it really shouldn't come too much as a surprise.
A starship crew comes across an old distress call upon a planet and find a solitary professor and his daughter as the inhabitants of a single planet. Turns out the planet's original inhabitants had a lot of super science-y stuff that goes beyond even our futuristic technology could comprehend. But then there's an evil invisible monster on the loose so the issue becomes what to do with the professor and the hottie that all the crew is trying to bang.
Amazing special effects for the time and I believe every sci-fi fan would enjoy it regardless of time period.
 

Just so people know the difference between the light-bulb donut headed robot from "Lost in Space" and Robby.

Hotel Transylvania  
"Hotel Transylvania" is an odd little number. I mean, deconstructing the classic monsters as not-so-monstrous and that the real horror is humanity is not a new thing...but then amidst the "humor" and the most basic of setups, it's kind of hard to believe that there's a deep pathos and "humanity" to our main character. 
Dracula is a busy guy, having to juggle being a loving father and overseeing the construction of a sanctuary for all of monsterkind. As he prepares for his daughter's (1)18th birthday, chaos ensues when an unwitting human tourist inadvertently mistakes the Hotel Transylvania for a normal hotel. As much as Dracula tries to scare him away, he stays for the hot vampire girl he has "zinged," which is just basically monsterkind's universal acknowledgement of forever love or something. And after further miscommunication and pointing of fingers, it's a race to get this weirdo back into his daughter's life because happiness is better than protection.
Mad props to Genndy Tartakovsky for attaching his name to such a film. His animation style of minimal movement yet constant movement is highly prevalent and it makes the film highly watchable. I think the main problem with the movie though is that they couldn't pick a tone and stick with it. Either just gags-all-day-everyday or give us a serious movie with monsters finding out people ain't all bad.

Special animated short on the DVD that showcases the Genndy Tartakovsky-style better. Fully expected Samurai Jack or Fuzzy Lumpkin to just pop in.

Shakespeare in Love 
The most common advice they tell writers with a writer's block is to write what they know. With "Shakespeare in Love" they really twisted history around to meet their own needs. 
Willy Shakespeare is a down on his luck playwright because inspiration has not hit him like a ton of bricks yet. Inspiration does manage to smack him though...like a flaming arrow from Cupid himself. He meets a Lady Viola masquerading as a male actor, and a thinly-veiled plot of Romeo and Juliet unfolds around them.
Amazing actors and actresses, brilliant setting, and the unique twist on history really crafts a fun, colorful, and surprisingly heartfelt story of the creation of the most famous love story.

So this was a brilliant parody of a parodic movie.
DOUBLE PARODY!

Dead Poets Society
"Dead Poets Society" is really not a film so much as a public service announcement from Hollywood to find the beauty in words and poetry and stuff. 
A group of prep-school high schoolers start the new academic year with the surprise of a new English teacher, one with much more love for the subject than what academia supports. A select group of these high school boys follow through on these ideals and form a group to truly live freely.
And that's roughly it. It's a film that explores what it means to be liberated with words and the arts, with the idea that sometimes, you just need to someone who understands you and your passions. And that someone was Robin Williams. He is not the star here, but he is the wisest teacher this side of Dumbledore and Mr. Miyagi. This movie is not for hilarity's sake, but it is to show the passionate (maybe hot-blooded?) side of Robin Williams as he teaches the boys more about life through poetry.

 

Good Morning Vietnam
Mornings suck.
Mornings during wartime must suck even more.
What can get you through the morning? RADIO TALK SHOW WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS OF COURSE!
"Good Morning Vietnam" is another Robin Williams vehicle, with only a smattering of story with scenes of the Vietnam war serving as music video fodder, but the highlight is of course Robin Williams as he entertains the troops listening to his radio show each morning. As is typical, there's some sort of stick-in-the mud who has to rain on the parade and decry Williams for his free spirit, but that's not takes up just a 1/3 of the movie. It's more about Robin Williams trying to impress a Vietnamese girl and preach the truth about what's happening in the war.
Overall, it's a great film, but for the best parts, you could probably watch his quick wit and humor shine (the best parts in other words) in youtube clips.

And then you find out he did that schtick in real life and your respect for him goes WAY UP!

Amadeus
The musical virtuoso of the past as depicted as an out-of-control musician of the modern era...frankly "The Lion's Roar" did it better and funnier.
"Amadeus" is the story of the rise and fall of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart as seen through the eyes of one of his musical rivals Salieri.  While real life Salieri was more of one of Mozart's closest friends, the version presented here is nothing more than a religious fanatic who believes that music is an art that should never be tampered with. However, he is shown loving the art, but absolutely loathing the man behind it. This mindset tears him apart and he does everything in his power to tear Mozart down as well, not succeeding so much as fate and Mozart's own bad choices doing the job for him.
As mentioned before, this is more a commentary about how popular musicians can act like the biggest fools on the planet and get away with it because they produce the best tunes and have friends in high places. Complete with alcohol, women, and big fancy houses, it really tries to sell the idea that this has been going on forever, just the places and the people change names.
Overall, really great for people who love classical music as it can put a face behind the pieces they love, but not for history buffs.


My Little Pony: Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks
With the moderate success of the first tale of a cartoon horse-critter going to an alternate universe where everyone she knows is now some kind of human-thing, did the sequel rock my socks off?
Yes...yes it did.
"Rainbow Rocks" was super entertaining.
The animation was better and more fluid, plot more plausible (by the show's own standards at least; better than the 1st movie's for sure), characterization MORE than spot-on, and tons of character growth for the brightly colored horse-people. Special mention going to the villain of the former movie becoming her own character and learning, of course, that friendship is magic.
Monsters trapped in flesh, who had been exiled to the "human realm" discover that with the events of the previous movie the magic that they need to unlock their real forms is now up for the taking. Coincidentally, they use their singing to cause and feed off of negative emotions in anyone within close proximity to them...and it just so happens that the high school where all this takes place is having a battle of the bands. It's up to our heroes of friendship-magic to fight off this new menace in increasingly awesome, Scott-Pilgrim-esque band battles, but all the while, they must fight off the discord coming from within themselves.
Funnily enough, the thing the movie dropped the ball on the most were the songs. While decent, especially the villains having a slower, eerie tone to their tunes, none of the songs really ever jumped into my ears and demanded I remember it later when I'm driving or eating. As previously mentioned, this movie's focus is on the former movie's villain, who, like all reformed villain characters, has to deal with the flack of past misdeeds and finding her place and peace in the school and the circle of friends that is slowly tearing themselves apart.
Overall, a much better movie than the first but the nature of the beast is to appeal to the fans so recommended if you have a high tolerance for musical cartoons "for girls."

For a spoiler-y (puppet-fueled) recap along with a serious analysis of the movie, click here.
 

Internet has latched onto the prospect that one of the antagonists (the airheaded one) really likes tacos.

 
GOONIES
"Goonies" is such a great film. Featuring the wonderful adventure elements of a sleepy town, smart kids, treasure, cute chicks, dysfunctional villains, and befriending beasts.
A bunch of kids run afoul of a plot involving a weird criminal family, and in escaping them, find themselves on the trail of the lost treasure of a pirate that used to plague their town. Truly a modern adventure flick with enough thrills and laughs to prevent you from ever checking when the movie ends.

How I first found out what the Truffle Shuffle was...thank you Problem Sleuth.

Men in Black 3
That same buddy cop dynamic you know and love is back...this time crossing TWO timelines!
"Men in Black 3" has Agent J inexplicably being the only guy who even remembers his mentor Agent K and with the added threat of a one of the most dangerous aliens to ever have been locked up by K escaping his moon prison. J has to go back to the past to stop this evil alien plot and save K's very existence as the best of the best of the best Man in Black.
The comedy, the action, the jaw-dropping alien special effects and designs are all there, as well as the dynamic chemistry between the gruff old mentor and the upstart newbie...even after J goes to the past, the dynamic is still there.
Great fun and a little bit of a retcon to their relationship, but still worth every blinkin flashy light.

Random blobfish. I refuse to believe it's an alien lifeform since I want to believe Earth can be home to some weird and ugly critters too.

Rio 2
While the first "Rio" was about character-driven, fish-out-of-water, I-don't-like-you-you-don't-like-me-but-we're-stuck-together, kind of story, this one...showcases rare animals and exotic locales.
Blue the macaw and his wife hear the possibility of more of their kind living in the Amazon and they go there to reconnect with their wild roots, bringing their children and close friends along. As the first one showed us, the domesticated pet has trouble fitting in and is scorned by nearly all he meets, but in a not so subtle twist, he becomes essential to saving the rainforest and his family.
If you were a fan of the first one, knock yourself out in enjoying this one since it's essentially the same thing.

The Magnificent Seven (1960)
Little village in Mexico besieged by bandits?
Who you gonna call?
SEVEN SAMURAI!
...
Joking, "THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN!" Seven gunslingers who are tops with firearms, have nothing to lose, and will die to see justice done!
An amazing flick building on the premise Kurosawa gave us with the Seven Samurai, the story is roughly the same but IN AMERICA!
There are moments where the action is put on the backburner for the development of character, but once the bullets start whizzing by, you know it's a fight to the finish. Saddle up and watch this beauty.

Funnily enough, there is this scene, almost verbatim, in the climax with one of the Seven.

R.I.P.D
"RIPD" is a strange little movie that tastes like "Men in Black" when sprinkled with some "Ghostbusters" or "Bleach." Stupid fun action film with Jeff Bridges playing the best unhinged cowboy since his take on Rooster Cogburn.
A cop is killed by his partner and instead of pearly gates, black voids, or fiery lakes awaiting him, he finds out he's drafted into the afterlife's best (of the best of the best of the best) lawkeepers to book and destroy ghosts, zombies, and the devilish. Soon, a conspiracy develops and it's up to our unlucky green lantern and dude to endure all manner of Looney-Toon-esque mishaps to cancel the doomsday event.
While not as action-packed nor funny as other buddy-cop-with-supernatural-elements movies, it is still solidly fun; nonsensical, but fun. What is fascinating is the whole world they craft with particular rules concerning the afterlife, the undead, and the fiendish plot.
Overall, I think that if this was released more in the 80s or 90s, we'd be seeing an animated show with barely-similar paint actors complete with catchy-as-hell theme song.

Nope...don't see the resemblance at all...no sirree Bob.

Good Will Hunting
Who knew Jason Bourne needed therapy from Robin Williams after being found out as a genius from the crazy professor from the "Thor" movies?
"Good Will Hunting" is an amazing film for all of the little poignant moments of true emotion and brilliant scripting and casting.
Matt Damon is discovered to be a mathematical genius (amongst other surprising smarts) despite being a janitor at MIT. However, his attitude causes his professor to seek some psychiatric help for this troubled youth. Since Lucy Van Pelt is unavailable, the next best thing is a lovelorn Robin Williams. The bond that forms between Robin Williams and Matt Damon enhances the lives of both, and most of all, Matt Damon's personal life benefits greatly from these improvements. But is Matt Damon ready to be this new and improved version or is he going to slide back into his Jersey-punk lifestyle?
What this film lacks in action or comedy, it makes up for in drama. The tension between characters get so high and palpable, but never ridiculously so. The acting from all the actors is A+ and at moments, you forget they're actors and believe they're actually the characters they embody. Robin Williams has his trademark humor, but it's a lot more subdued, and as Matt Damon's psychiatrist he teaches as well as he learns.
Overall, wonderful film from amateur filmmakers but beyond powerful and moving and other adjectives describing amazing.

I doubt I can use this excuse to get out of work for a couple of weeks...

Book of Life
"Book of Life" is definitely full of life! Beautiful and unique animation, excellent characters, great chance to finally learn something about Mexican mythology, and well, it's fun!
Three kids make vows to be friends no matter what, but fate forces them all apart to be the best in their respective fields...and two gods decide to play matchmaker between the three of em too.
While one boy is a musician trapped in a profession he hates (can't kill bulls; becomes bullfighter), the other boy becomes a military hero. Clearly, the third friend will choose the man who makes her heart go a-flutter as opposed to new!Gaston. When the god who bet on the other guy realizes this is a problem, he rigs the game and kills our sensitive man. From there, it's not only a fight for our bony man to make his way back to life, meeting his quirky and amazing deceased family, but a big threat in the world of the living is making his way towards the remaining two amigos.
The beauty of this is that you're watching a puppet show with VERY traditional looking Dia de Los Muertos puppets, but the animation and expressions paired with the great vocal work make this a truly cinematic treat as textured and delicious as so many churros.

While it does involve puppets that move without strings, I don't think that's what we're talking about...

Interstellar
How did Matthew Mcconaughey do in "Interstellar?"
Alright...alright...alright.
...
That's all I got because the movie's grasp of science tries to dumb it down for the layman to understand, but even with that, I feel beyond the limits of moron. Truly the only way I could rationalize the science happening was to interpret it as an alternate universe where Reed Richards is still a genius but more grounded in reality...and there are no megalomaniacal doctor-dictators to beat up.
The earth is unable to food anymore, and the only hope humanity has is to search the stars for a new planet to call home. At the core of the conflict however, is a family man who adores his science-loving daughter but is unable to be with her because of the distance and time involved with the distance.
Christopher Nolan, in a post-Dark-Knight era, seems even more determined to baffle his audience with complex story, breathtaking visuals, and A-list actors being melodramatic. And despite these good(?) things, it's still a great film for the very real human core. Watch it if you're a fan of Nolan, sci-fi with a more "realistic" twist, and snarky robots.
For a more condensed and entertaining (spoiler-filled) review, go here.
For a funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.

The robot companion of thee future is essentially R2D2 as a Rubik's rectangle but with more personality and dry wit.

Big Hero 6
So "Big Hero 6" has an interesting futuristic "How to Train your Dragon" feel to it...which is ironic because the comics version of Baymax WAS a dragon-like critter...Much prefer this version though...best character in the whole film.
Child genius Hiro Hamada is content with using his robots to battle n00bs in the back alleys of San Fransokyo, but his older brother sees a diamond in the rough, and encourages him to do a fantastic science thing to impress the people at a prestigious technology school. But when an accident destroys both his awesome science project and his brother, Hiro is left in a depressive funk that he won't rise from. What does arise suddenly though, is older bro's latest creation, Baymax, a walking, talking, airbag nurse. The other thing that shifts Hiro into top gear is the chance to find his brother's killer.
The funny thing about the movie with the promise of 6 heroes, is that we don't learn too much about the other members of the team, with the focus being on the innocent brotherly relationship between robot and distraught boy genius. Despite the failings of villain and interhero chemistry, the settings are gorgeous and inventive, and the innocent and lovable Baymax really steal the show.

Dragon is best protector? Can't argue with that, but the robot is literally a walking, talking airbag...

Batman Returns
So like a n00b, I finally watched all the live-action Batman movies...with "Batman Returns" being the last one.
Bruce Wayne finds himself facing three types of baddie this time: corporate, creepy, and kinky.
Christopher Walken is your typical businessman slimeball, but once he associates with a literal slimy character, Danny Devito's Penguin, a misformed mutated menace from the sewers, they really make things tough for Batman. However, the surprising twist of a blonde Selina Kyle finally snapping, and putting on ALL the fetish gear, is another obstacle that makes it tough for Batman, setting up the classic BatCat dilemma of his pursuit of justice and love.
This one is so full of Tim Burton flavor that it almost didn't feel like a Batman film at all...meaning that the character designs are all caricatures, the atmosphere is dark and macabre, and the characterization is off-putting and intriguingly quirky all at once. Also, A+ for THE creepiest depiction of the Penguin from any incarnation I've seen him in (including the recent Gotham TV show...that's a creepy creeper of a creep too, but Danny Devito man...).

It's now you must admire the vision of a director who said, "You know what would be the most adorable way for a city to be razed to the ground? PENGUINS WITH MISSILE LAUNCHERS ATTACHED TO THEIR BACKS!"

Groundhog Day
After having seen "Edge of Tomorrow," I finally saw "Groundhog Day," the one that first put the "relive the day" trope into the collective movie-going public's conscious.
Massive jerk Bill Murray finds himself trapped by bad weather in the equivalent of Halloweentown from "Nightmare Before Christmas" but for Groundhog day instead of Halloween: Punxsutawney. He awakens from his bed to the same song from the alarm clock radio, runs into the same people, and has the same conversations from the previous day. He runs the gamut from shocked, to horrified, to blase, to sudden philanthropist. So really, all it takes to convert a horrible person to the nicest guy in town is to trap him in one place and drive him to despair for over a couple of years.
Overall, a weird, but fun excursion to the theme of finding your true happiness while living with all the knowledge in the world.

According to Bill Murray, his character pretty much relived all of this book during the film.

Muppets: Most Wanted
"Muppets: Most Wanted" takes a very fun, musical, tongue-in-cheek way of looking at having your life replaced by an evil twin. Not better than the first, but still plenty of good laughs and unexpectedly hilarious celebrity cameos.
Shortly after the results of the first Muppets movie with Jason Segal and Amy Adams, the Muppets go on a tour to Europe without any of the returning human characters. While out there, Kermit is replaced with a nearly- identical-yet-everybody-thinks-he-looks-radically-different thief. So while Kermit's in the Russian gulag run by Tina Fey, the dangerous doppelganger finds himself beset with a whole slew of new problems as only reigning in the ridiculous needs of the Muppet crew can bring in addition to pulling off crazy heists.
As per the Muppet tradition, a lot of fun is poked at the expense of being fully aware of the 4th wall as well as self-referential humor. While the plot is a little weaker this time around, with the song numbers also following the not-as-good trend they established in the opening number, the best parts is definitely a Frenchy Ty Burrel playing off of Sam Eagle as they try to nab the thief through their vastly different sleuthing styles.
For a more condensed and entertaining (spoiler-filled) review, go here.

Where they probably got the idea for "the World's Most Dangerous Frog."

John Wick
"John Wick" tries to remind the audience that Keanu Reeves was a major action star for the brief bit in history when the Matrix was everywhere (well, moreso than we plugged-in ones want to believe).
John Wick finds himself a little bit of happiness with the prospect of a loving wife and a cute puppy. But when jerks from his past strip that away from him in the most brutal ways, he goes on a roaring rampage of revenge as to make the Bride blush. He leaps back into his old world of mobsters and assassins, with guns blazing, almost literally.
This movie is a never-ending ride of violence and misery. BUT! It brings two very unique things to the table: EXTREEEEEME subtitles and a fascinating perspective into the hidden world of the assassin elite.

Argo
"Argo" can only be described as the most farfetched rescue attempt in history...a lot of plates that spun just the right way...and yet, it was still a good film.
Tragedy befalls the US embassy in Iran and it's up to Ben Affleck to find a way to bring the survivors home. All conventional avenues of rescue are closed so he figures from looking through his son's sci-fi stuff that their Hail Mary pass is making a sci-fi film on par with Star Wars, with the excuse of having an exotic locale to be a distant planet. To do that, he has to work with sympathetic Hollywood people and do big promotions for something that'll never exist. Hilarity ensues, but the race is on to keep the trapped Americans safe and to safely escort them out under the guise of being part of the film crew for the project known simply as Argo.
The acting is top-notch and the film does a great job at building tension. Of course it's a bit of a foregone conclusion if you know old news.

Some people are just so quick to judge someone based on their own crazy logic, which is not at all logical. 

Elf
Like a cotton-headed ninny-muggins, I have finally seen "Elf." Best way I can summarize it is that it's the next generation's "Big" with less mystical hoodoo and more Christmas spirit! MUCH more Christmas spirit!!
Despite Santa Claus being able to "see you when you're sleeping, and knows when you're awake," he couldn't see the little orphan baby crawl into his toysack. The baby is raised by Bob Hoskins the elf and as Mowgli did with wolves, little "Buddy" as he's known grows into a Will Ferrell with the demeanor of the cheerful elves of the North Pole. Upon realization that he is not, in fact, an elf, he goes on a journey to New York City to find the family he's never known. With his infectious joy and naivety however, he throws the natural order of every New Yorker he meets out of whack.
Probably THE definitive Will Ferrell movie since after this, there seemed to be a boom of movies starring the SNL alum. Completely understandable though since he gives the most ridiculous, over-the-top, and downright funny performance of a hyperactive manchild since Tom Hanks in "Big." And while Hanks' character changed and became a more mature person, it's Will Ferrell's character who doesn't change and instead positively impacts everyone around him. Perfect film for getting you into the festive spirit of the season...and by getting I mean drag you kicking and screaming. 
For a more condensed and entertaining (spoiler-filled) review, go here.

And I shall call this dish, "WHY WOULD YOU PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH?!"

 Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever
...I am not getting those hours of my life back...but hey, Aubrey Plaza makes a perfect Tardar Sauce voice.
A little girl makes a wish on a convenient plot device and wishes for a friend...and by whatever demented genie granted it, the wish comes true in her telepathically understanding Grumpy Cat, a stray in a petshop in the mall. Together, they try to foil a plot with stupid thieves and help each other resolve their issues...for the most part; Grumpy cat still has to stay grumpy after all.
Several times I had to yell at the screen, "LIFETIME MOVIE CLICHE! AUUUUUGH!" The shining moments are when it focuses on Grumpy Cat snarking at everything around her...and Muppet-level 4th wall jokes. Which is ironic since the Jim Henson studios was involved in making the puppets for some of the more "physical" scenes that you can't do with a kitty.

Ironically, the snarkiness did make me think of Garfield.

Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters
"Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters" was not a bad film, but I'm sure the book purists would have something to say about that.
Percy Jackson finds himself on yet another wacky quest involving saving the mythological and mundane worlds, with the stakes hitting a little closer to home since he must find the Golden Fleece to save the barrier-producing tree (powered by a dying child no less) that protects his summer camp of unloved Greek pantheon illegitimate children. Along the way, more big name actors cameo as Greek gods and many a classic monster is vanquished. 
In addition to all the wacky sudden Greek mythology stuff being transplanted into America situations, we also have new members to the team which add interesting dynamics, with a hot-headed, belligerent frenemy girl, and the younger brother of our main hero, who is one of those, monstrous-looks-but-heart-of-gold-and-childlike-innocence kind of character.

Possibly the only other Cyclops that could be cool...and even then with the comics I've read, Tyson might be the better man.

Exodus: Gods and Kings
Oh Moses, Moses...don't watch "Exodus: Gods and Kings."
Ramses and Moses have 0 chemistry, Moses is ALWAYS at odds with I AM (although they get points for even throwing that scene in),and worst of all, they cast a sword to play Moses' staff!! If it weren't for Groot earlier this year, I'd say that the representation of sticks in the media have been sorely lacking. Stop the metal-washing hollywood!

A much better scene in EVERY. SINGLE. WAY. than what was done in "Exodus: Gods and Kings"

The Secret World of Arrietty
Miyazaki tries his hand at tackling the classic children's story of the "Borrowers" in "The Secret World of Arrietty."
Arrietty and her family live at the underside of a house in the country, and on her first night out as a Borrower, she meets the newcomer Bean, and a friendship is almost instantly formed. However, the secret of the teeny tiny people is threatened when the housekeeper gets too nosy for them to stay living their kleptomaniacal lives.
As is the usual fare for s Studio Ghibli film, looks pretty, and story is definitely one of discovery, invention, and whimsy...but as is also typical, the story is lacking, the characters are a bit flat, and plotholes a-plenty. Doesn't help that I only saw the English-dubbed version and the voice-casting was all wrong.
For a more condensed and entertaining (spoiler-filled) review, go here.

"If nobody wants it, why are we stealing it?!"

Hundred Foot Journey
"100 Foot Journey" is a heart-warming tale about loving your neighbor, enjoying the passion involved in food (tasting and prepping), and ultimately, finding home.

Basically, a "Ratatouille" for adults who care not for cartoon mice and their delusions...those sad sad people... 
An Indian family flees their home for fear of their lives and end up moving to France. There, they decide to start up a restaurant. The only problem is the whole of the French countryside they ended up in, they decide to open their eatery across the street from a Michelin-starred French restaurant.  Thus the feud between the owner Helen Mirren and this family trying to liven up the neighborhood begins.  What fascinates Helen Mirren the most however is their oldest boy, who has "the gift" of knowing what combinations of flavors will make anything he cooks taste amazing. When she sees this potential, a further conflict ensues when she insists on taking him under her wing to teach him her way of cuisine.  There's also a bit of romance, for both young and old. But the primary focus of course, is the food. Truly beauty and art is gently folded into how the food is produced and presented in this movie.
WATCH IF YOU LOVE FOOD!

USE *ALL* THE CARDAMOM!!

Unbroken
I have the utmost respect for the true story of a man who suffered through so much as a POW in WWII, but the movie "Unbroken" dragged on longer than I felt comfortable watching.
Louis Zamperini is an airman whose mission goes horribly wrong and he ends up on a life raft in the miles from shore and civilization. Flashbacks show us that he was a simple country boy who was good at running; so good at running that he became an Olympic athlete. Back to the present problem of being adrift at sea with supplies running out, the sun turning his skin to jerky, and will to live sinking (who knew I would see two of those movies this year, with "All is Lost" being the other), it is temporarily rectified by being rescued...and subsequently tortured by the Japanese. More pain and misery await him, and at points, the audience can feel him sinking even lower and lower, but one iconic, poster-worthy moment reassures us that no...he remains unbroken.
I can only recommend this if you have a strong stomach for watching people suffer, specifically our strong-willed protagonist. 

One scene had the three survivors on the raft all freak out because one of themt ate all the chocolate.