Any anime fan worth their salt will say without question that the better FRANCHISE is Pokemon, but the better anime SERIES will definitely go to Digimon, specifically the first series, known in Japan as "Digimon Adventure." With something so good, of course they made a sequel series, known in Japan as "Digimon Adventure 02," and that unfortunately, had a very mixed bag of reactions. On one hand, some fans enjoyed the new protagonists, the compelling villain, and the conclusion to the old and new characters that many have compared to the epilogue of the Harry Potter series. On the other hand, many fans were disgruntled at the back seat the previous protagonists took, their roles laughably small and almost insultingly underutilized, further alienated by the game-breaking superpowers of the new partner monsters, which made the last ditch effort in the last act of the series to appease fans seem too little too late.
So when 2016 rolled around, promising a new film series to put the beloved first Digidestined in the spotlight, most fans were notably pumped. Really, "Digimon Adventure Tri" could've just been the unofficial season 8; there's enough content here for a miniseries. Although they probably didn't advertise it as such because the movies contain things that might be a little too deep for kiddos. But for longtime fans who wanted a bit more closure beyond what 02 gave us, this is a notable step in the right direction.
Gonna go over the movies one by one since they each have their own merits and a gratuitous amount of flaws so it's hard to lump them all as either good or bad. One last disclaimer is that I watched the English dub version since they managed to get 80% of the original voice actors to reprise their roles, and that just tickled not just the nostalgia centers of my happiness, but also the continuity sense terminology changes when you switch between languages. In addition, the dub was smart enough to include the iconic Japanese insert songs aside from a couple of instances.
Reunion:
After a quick glossing over of how the divisive heroes of 02 are "no longer around" and quite possibly dead, the focus goes to our main heroes livin' that high school life...which is quickly shattered with the presence of giant rampaging beetles that they know all too well. Not only are the kids' partners back, but a government agency dedicated to monitoring the beasts as they crossover to the material plane, and a mysterious 8th member of the group. The main thing about this series though is how the ideals of youth can get thoroughly trampled by reality. This particular movie shows the leader of the bunch realize that maybe his foolhardy, hothead tendencies that worked in his youth, leads to real consequences. The gravity of fighting giant monsters and all the collateral damage that goes with it is downright paralyzing for the goggle-wearing youth and it takes a long, long time for him to snap out of it. But snap out of it he does, and just in time to defeat the villain...who has no bearing on the rest of the movies but got hyped up something fierce.
Behold! The instrument of your destruction for the next 5 movies
Determination:
Otherwise known as An Excuse to have a Hot Springs episode and School Festival episode Crammed into One Movie!
Aside from the blatant fanservice, this one focuses on absolutely nobody's favorites from the original cast, the shallow one and the stick-in-the-mud. Yet, the movie is determined to show us how growing up with the exact same traits that defined you as a child can logically lead to strife further in life. The shallow one, having been established as having moved to America for a time, had found a home for her outspoken personality, but upon returning to Japan, realizes that this can be perceived as being really selfish. On a similar spectrum, the most responsible one of the group now finds himself trapped between wanting to help his friends in the fight and studying for his goal of becoming a doctor...and finding it easier to excuse his so-called cowardice on the very real fear of not studying enough to get into the right college. While not completely resolved, their realization of these traits leads them to greater power...just in time for a battle with an inexplicably evil-again former villain and an even further heartbreaking betrayal. Yes, that means the a familiar face dies...again.
Riiiiight..."Daters" is really big in America; y'all ain't slick screenwriters!
Confession:
Zombies, vampires, werewolves, all these monsters come with the familiar trope of anybody you love becoming one of the evils you're trying to vanquish. The third movie tries to pull this on us by having the partners become victims of "the infection" and with that, get ready for a WHOLE lotta heart strings to be pulled. Further complicating matters are the possibility that the cure might be worse than the disease, as the only way to save their monsters means destroying their memories. So the digital monsters quietly accepting their fates of berserker, feral rage, asking to simply spend time with each kid they've bonded to before it happens? Heart. Wrenching.
To further hammer in the theme of growing up sucking, the two focal characters this time come from childish beliefs being not enough to ensure happiness. For the brainiac, he has to overcome the childish notion that he can solve the problem since sometimes there really is no option but the lesser of two evils. For the avatar of hope, his unfounded optimism manifests in the worst option: pretending the problem is not imminent and believing that it will all work out, with all evidence pointing to the contrary. So when the excrement hits the rotating cooling device, it's even MORE heartbreaking that it had to go down that way. To be fair, this leads to the first proactive move these kids make the whole movie: going to get them back to reforge their bonds no matter what. Time to hop back down that rabbit hole!
WHY MUST THE FLYING PIGGY SUFFER?! AND WHY DOES IT KICK ME IN THE FEELS LIKE THAT?
Loss:
When we last left our heroes, they had to endear themselves to the amnesiac babies that used to be their partners...and for the most part, everyone manages to succeed in making the blobs love them...irony being that the gal whose whole power came from the Love Crest can't make her blob love her. So unlike the previous movies where the focal characters naturally learn the consequences of staying childish, this one gets manufactured tension because there is literally no reason for the blob-that-becomes-bird to remain angry at her, made even more jarring when not even 20 minutes in, and everyone else has roughly the same relationship before the amnesia hit. Further baffling is the revelation of evil players, their government handler. who through flashbacks was revealed as a previous generation of Digidestined desperately trying to find her revived partner, and a copy of their digital mentor, an Obi-Wan Kenobi lookalike, BUT EEEEEVIL! As far as fanservice goes, they pointlessly get separated into pairs, have to fight the final bosses of the last arc of their season, and then have to deal with their macguffin critter evolving into an evil version of herself...again. Much more a mess of a movie, but made up for in spades for familiar locales and faces.
If anybody wanted to know what a young & evil Obi-Wan Kenobi looked like, they give you a taste...
Coexistence:
*deep breath*
Why?
Why does nothing make sense? And when it does, it's so poorly executed.
Who are the bad guys? Who are the well-intentioned extremists that might as well be bad guys?
Most aggravating of all are the 4-5 instances where they have to pause the plot and the story to reassure the newbie that none of this is her fault? That sometimes cats just go berserk? This is all interspersed with the kids all just hiding out from one thing or another so a buncha NOT fighting until the last couple of minutes with all the players being a garbled mess of a melee.
Just when you thought cliffhangers can't get worse, we end it with THE EVANGELION-ESQUE COSMIC HORROR-MON!! Also, the leader's gone and his sister goes catatonic with mysterious waif energy.
Dangit Elsa! Be careful you don't trip over Himekawa as she's drowning in the Dark Ocean!
(our) Future:
So less of an epic conclusion to the story of the Digidestined (there's ONE MORE MOVIE not available until sometime in 2020), but it really ends the focal point of the insane kitty causing havoc across two worlds. So not only do the kids now have to deal with the perceived death of their leader, but of the looming threat of the evil angel made by two cats completely destroying their world, with the proposed solution being sending humanity back to the dark ages. Thankfully, such drastic measures are not needed as we find out the answer to their dilemma lies in a hidden file deep within the psycho kitty that restores the memory of EVERY digital being. With the full power of Understanding at their disposal, they join forces in one big ol' knight kaiju to slay the foul creature. Aaaaand that's all they do before events get wrapped up offscreen and anti-Digimon sentiment is still running rampant, and the missing 02 protagonists aren't even given the decency of shown faces, just silhouettes, and the reassurance they're fine and will show up in the next movie. Really weak ending to the whole film series.
So what have we ultimately learned children? If the animal goes bad, you gotta put. it. down!
So overall, the Digimon Adventure Tri is a film series that seems to bank on nostlagia, what with most people who watched the cartoon as kids, finding themselves relating to the heroes' struggles about growing up. But overall, the last half drops the ball something fierce, not just in thematic cohesion but in story elements that they couldn't be arsed to properly conclude.
As the sequel to the smash hit of 2013, this movie had a lot to live up to...and for people like me who consider "Tangled" superior in almost every aspect, a lot to strive for improvement.
And they kinda fall flat.
The story meanders and while having a strong premise, does not really deliver on much. With the revelation from the prologue that the kingdom used to share their land with natives in tune with the spirit creatures that embody the 4 elements, and the sudden isolation of the enchanted forest, the royal sisters take it upon themselves to find this lost land, free the inhabitants, and save their home from potential disaster. So even though the first movie was not as well-built a story as "Tangled" or "Wreck-it Ralph," it at least provided solid beats. This one, while on paper seeming like a grander adventure, does more to promote the world building, introduce the highly-marketable new characters, and surprisingly poke fun at the popularity of the old movie. Despite those positives, the truth is, it's all very surface level. New place, new characters, new outfits, new status quo. Check, check, check, & check.
The characters' growth is only as substantial as their relationship to others, as most of their issues got resolved last movie. The sisters' bond is still probably the best kind of development in the movie, with the fervent determination to stick together through this adventure; there is only minimal strengthening of the relationships between Anna and Kristof, as well as Anna and Olaf, with Olaf himself somehow going through a period of deep questioning about his place in the universe; and just like last time, Kristof continues to be Anna's accessory. The new characters don't really bring much to the table. All the human characters trapped in the mystical woods are...there. The magical spirit-creatures that embody the 4 elements are...there, with the only with a hint of personality going to the adorable charmander. And bad guys? None, but the sins of the past need to be rectified, which is the main source of conflict. A mature decision for sure, abandoning the twist villain we've come to expect, but then not having a villain does make the climax boil down to Piss-Off-Sleeping-Giants-to-Wreck-Shit, and it's not nearly as interesting to watch.
Overall, a fun continuation of the story (UNLIKE Frozen Fever and Olaf's Frozen Adventure) with a somewhat decent message of accepting change, but really, this was already done so well by "Toy Story 4" and "How to Train Your Dragon 3" earlier this year, that this one needing to holler the message again just makes it sound stale. And those movies didn't come with a soundtrack of catchy-yet-somewhat-depressing songs.
Oooh I bet y'all feel really clever for sneaking in ANOTHER Hans Christian Andersen reference into the movie eh?
What words define Spider-man? With Great Power comes Great Responsibility.
...
and in this one, Spidey does all he can to shirk that great responsibility? I mean, on one hand who can blame him? HE WENT TO SPACE AND DIED! On the other hand, he's pretty much the only hero left still in a good place after the events of "Avengers Endgame."
The infamous Snap is now known as the Blip and to recover some sense of normalcy, Peter Parker's high school is able to send their Academic Decathlon team on a whirlwind trip to Europe's biggest tourist spots. Fixated firmly on using that special time to confess to his new crush, the previously super snarky Zendaya, Peter believes his infamous Parker Luck can take a turn for the better, and doesn't even pack his supersuit for the trip.
Of course, it doesn't.
Not only are gigantic monsters based around the 4 elements on the rampage, not only is Nick Fury and SHIELD convinced Spider-man is the new Iron Man and is convinced this kid is ready to step into that role, not only is there a mysterious new magic man in a fishbowl helmet claiming to be from another universe, but somehow a fellow student that used to be younger than Peter is now top suitor for his crush's affections because they both died & stayed the same age whilst he grew up to be a better Flash Thompson than the previously established Flash Thompson!
Anyone worth their salt as a Spider-man fan should see the twist coming the MOMENT it was announced who Jake Gyllenhaal would be playing. While it was totally expected, the actual execution of said trickery and the accompanying visuals once it's been revealed is a sight to behold (not on par with some of "Doctor Strange's" trippy look, but roughly in the same ballpark). Until that moment however, he really does seem like a good guy, a noble hero who seems like an easygoing and relatable guy thrust into the same great-power-great-responsibility thing that defines Mr. Parker.
Overall, a nice FINAL epilogue to the Marvel Universe as we know it, focusing on the fallout of one of the biggest sacrifices from "Endgame" and how the young protege has to handle the weight of all the responsibility he now feels. While the movie has done better than its previous home-titled installment in the superhero-ing aspects, the civilian side is a little weaker. The main duo trying to relationship is a bit TOO awkward to have any believability, and the kids & teachers on this trip are a bit too irksome or don't have enough to do to warrant their screentime. While it is not as balanced as the previous Spidey movie with Home in its title, the ride was quite enjoyable and best of all is the unexpected cameo from other Spidey media.
Stephen King is fully aware of how ludicrous the ending to the first one was, so the running joke here is "don't get your hopes up; the ending's bad." So much so, that he even shows up to tell himself that!
"IT: Chapter 1" and "IT: Chapter 2" is an updated take on the most famous story involving a murderous clown terrorizing a sleepy Maine town, and boy does it deliver where the 1990s TV mini-series couldn't.
Chapter 1 brings us the same quality of kid actors from the old version, but now transplanted to when most of the viewing audience were kids, the late 1980s! With that shift in time, comes a shift in the dynamics of the kids, expanding on the pre-established lovable quirks and maximizing our connection to these kids as they struggle through the troubles of life along with the troubles of a menacingly playful, shape-shifting horror hellbent on marinating its victims in fear. The chemistry between them is as palpable as it's reminiscent of the chemistry between the kids from "Stranger Things" (funny how "It" influences "Stranger Things" and then it loops back to the other way around), and that means that the mouthy kids can argue and riff with each other with the best of em, sticking together despite their playful jabs at each other. Furthermore, the non-supernatural threats the kids have to go through have been updated as well. Between adults that don't care about a kid's physical or emotional state, petty girls who listen to will harass who because of gossip, bullies who actually want to do lasting damage now, and parents who vary between creepily obsessive, massively overbearing, and simply blind to the truth, the pale, lanky, and toothy clown is almost the least of their worries.
Almost.
While not as delightfully hammy as Tim Curry's version, Bill Skarsgård manages to have a menacing presence, with a tone of voice feigning playfulness, the CG manages to morph his body into unnerving, unnatural shapes, bringing a new level of imaginative scaring. The haunted house scene captures a lot of the classic haunted house scares with the added bonus of reality being whatever the demented boggart-like creature wants it to be.
Chapter 2 now features the wildly successful adults the kids grew into, but now they're a little more haunted by a past they can't fully grasp. The call comes in from their Nick Fury and while reluctant, they get there, eager to reclaim their lost memories and possibly vanquish a lingering evil from beyond the stars.
YES, THIS THING'S AN ALIEN!
Thanks to actually paying attention to the book now, the film makes a big deal on the origins of the evil clown and the attempts from early people in taking it out. This leads to the adults going on a fetchquest for personal items during a mini timeskip during that summer in Chapter 1, leading to more golden scenes with the kid actors going through their own brief run-ins with the mind-bending malevolence. When it actually comes down to the climactic showdown though, IT has already done a number on our protagonists, messing with them emotionally by making a dark echo of a past trauma, forcing them to re-evaluate their choices in life, and sometimes, just siccing a mental patient on them like some avatar of its demented will to kill them with stabbings; the exhausted club of former losers then face the shape-shifting nightmare anew, with the ridiculous thing taking on more and more extreme weirdness to mess with them. Ultimately though, it is defeated in almost as ridiculous a manner as it was in the 1990 version, which I can't tell if that makes the remake any better or worse.
Overall, a roughly 5 hour story that'll mess with your mind as much as any "Nightmare on Elm Street" or "Inception" ever will, but at least that's shorter than the runtime of the audiobook (which according to a brave source is only 9 hours less than the entirety of the Lord of the Rings audiobook), and it's a better adaptation than the 1990 version by a long shot. While the old has a delightfully hammy charm to it, the remakes at least do their darnedest to try and take itself seriously. Whether or not IT succeeds is a matter of personal preference I suppose.
No sillier way of weakening a cosmic horror from beyond the stars than insulting it into a sad little puddle...unless you consider silver earrings being used as slingshot ammo.
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons for the first one, please go here. For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend on the 2nd one, go here.
Unintentionally hilarious because of the dated effects, but hilarious all the same, "It" is one of the iconic Stephen King novels brought to horrifying life on the small screen. This interesting spectacle can be accredited to terrifying children and impressionable youths who were blown away by the effects of the time, and most notably starting the lingering effects of coulrophobia for many viewers.
I would like to say that this is the case of another black man a team of monster busters, but really, this starts out with the librarian calling his amnesiac friends to remember a promise they made in their youth. So begins the seemingly endless flashbacks back-and-forth to a group of kids who were prime targets for bullying, and thus banded together to find solace in each others' quirks. Through many scenes of bonding and finding strength in each other, they also find themselves wrapped up in the grand conspiracy of their little Maine town: that children just up and get murdered and the adults do nothing about it. Further digging reveal that these horrific mutilations seem to be by a shape-shifting entity that seems to favor Tim Curry in poofy clothes, white face paint, and a red wig. Through a lot of dumb luck and a hope and prayer that their meager tools were enough, these kids vanquished the demon and sent it packing. Just in case though, they swore to return and destroy the evil once and for all. Now that they're all wildly successful adults (not in love anyway, but whatevs), they are VERY reluctant to not only face the demons of their past, but the literal demon who can Nightmare on Elm Street their very sanity away. Can they even beat the thing now that they're adults and have pretty much lost their youthful optimism?
It's funny that the credits list Tim Curry as a "special appearance" since this guy steals the show almost as much as Johnny Depp in "Pirates of the Caribbean." He is playful yet very menacing; he's hammy yet as deadly serious as you can get in a clown getup; the voice is iconic, and the only thing that weighs it down is that his last appearance is as some kind of stop-motion arthropod (spider?) with a lightup belly. Considering the actor himself had to avoid all mirrors since he is terrified of clowns, this performance is truly an iconic role.
The rest of the film however, is hindered from being truly a "horror" movie. If horror films to you comes from getting immersed in the dread of the situations the characters are going through, you'll be sucked out of the immersion from the hammy acting from nearly everyone involved, the cliches that most of Stephen King's work is known for, and the strange tonal whiplash of trying to juxtapose heavy and disturbing material with goofy antics and strange, happy music segments. I would recommend this one only if you have 3 hours to kill and a couple of pals with who you can riff the film.
Gotta respect the classic jokes from kids' joke books.
The strange thing about "Stranger Things" is that their season structure flip-flopped. Season 1 played much more like a movie (as y'all can tell from my analysis of it here.), which led to easier binging as the episode breaks were not good stopping points. I didn't feel the need to mention Season 2 as a review since there was a much more episodic feel to it, which seemed to focus less on the narrative and more on the characters and their interactions. The story seemed to know what breaks to make in the story, just the right points to make you think, "Ok maybe later" as opposed to "MUST FINISH NOW!"
And that was the prevailing feeling going through this 8-episode (roughly 6 hr, 20 mins long) movie.
Just like last time, there are groups with their own distinct stories, and thanks to the shorter amount of episodes, they converge a lot quicker and more organically than previous seasons.
Story 1: them wacky teens
The aptly nicknamed Nancy "Drew" finds herself undervalued and constantly picked on by the pigs at her new job...but a hot tip leads her and Jonathan (basically her wheels and...backup muscle?) on the story of strange and unusual goings on in their little Indiana town...again.
Story 2: those meddling kids preteens
Puberty has hit (most) of the kiddos who have had to deal with the brunt of these bizarre adventures, and with it, comes the rampaging hormone monsters...as well as real monsters. They discover not just how the evil mind-possessing demon from last season has managed to cross the divide thanks to a remnant left in the daytime and is amassing an army of former-humans-which-are-now-just-literal-flesh-puppets, but also what being in a relationship is all about. Not just boy-girl relationships either, as familial relationships still plays a major part in their character growth. Thankfully, their story intersects with the teens' story fairly quickly so they are combined in their shenanigans.
Story 3: the limited outfits team
Our favorite gap-toothed child managed to snag sketchy communiques from his Professor X invention and enlists the help of our favorite fluffy-haired teen, who now works a menial job scooping ice cream in a sailor suit. With the help of his coworker and a sassy lost child, they manage to get the biggest scoop of all: secret compound under the mall! What follows are amazing character depths discovered and evil plots revealed.
Story 4: the adults learning how to adult
What starts out with a goofy new dad to teenage girl trying to establish boundaries, whilst trying to figure out his feelings for the single mom who is still suffering a great loss, rendering her single again, becomes a tangled web of malfunctioning magnets, grand conspiracy of the sickle and hammer, avoiding the best bootleg Terminator since Ahnold himself, finding out how deep the corruption of their little town goes, and teaming up with more quirky nerds to save said little town and existence itself.
As all these stories culminate in a climatic battle against the forces of evil inside a shopping mall, almost each character has a chance to shine in their own unique way. Stellar production design and spine-tingling special effects complete this massive visual feast that are just part of this wondrous tale's appeal.
Despite all these disparate stories with an abundance of characters, that's exactly the show's strengths: amazing characters that grow & develop and stories that don't get old. While some have said that this season might be a little more pandering to the nostalgia crowd who love them some 80s-flavored media, it's the little attention to details that shows the passion and love the series creators have for the era and its pop culture influences. As cliche as it is, this is definitely a thrill ride from start to finish.
If anyone asks what the thesis of the whole of "Stranger Things" is, simply reply with 4 words:
Will. Byers. Must. Suffer.
The MOMENT it was announced that Pixar would continue telling the tale of children's playthings after their 3rd installment, it was met with derision. "It ended perfectly!" "It doesn't need to go on!" "This is a soulless attempt by Disney to make more money!" All valid points, but for what we got, "Toy Story 4" is a fine epilogue to the story of one pull-string cowboy voiced by Forrest Gump.
So in the same vague way of how "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends" established that children can create life from imagination, Bonnie, the little girl who all of Andy's toys went to at the end of "Toy Story 3," made an arts-&-crafts friend to get her through the first day of school...and as the good doctor who also animated spare bits into a living being said, "IT'S ALIVE!" This prompts Woody to find new purpose in wrangling this wayward toy into finding refuge in the refuse, since wouldn't you know it? Trusting a 4 year old to take care of your prized possession is a bad idea because she has essentially abandoned Woody to life on the margins of her playtime. Due to shenanigans involving a vacation, an antique store, and a carnival, Woody manages to reconnect with a toy from his past to help improve the lives of all the toys he comes across.
Fun & heartwarming, truly a staple of Pixar movies at this point (except you "Good Dinosaur." You disappoint me at every level), this movie really shows the culminated growth of our Spirit of Loyalty residing inside a cowboy doll from the 50's. The new characters they introduced are also very enjoyable to watch as they all bring their own unique and quirky energy to the screen, and strangely enough, the standout character being that literal background character of a damsel character in Andy's room. They managed to turn Bo Peep of all people into a survivalist after Bear Gryll's own heart, taking the spirit of independent, completely capable female heroine in the same vein as Lara Croft, Rey from Star Wars, and other adventurous young women. With those praises out of the way, I cannot go on about how I feel about this movie without SPOILERS so see you after the cut. But overall, this movie tickles your funny bone and tugs at your heartstrings; go see the end of this legacy of Pixar's first franchise.
Why do you even need a kit when you can literally make this guy from trash?!
A long time has passed since the 50s, when a Japanese filmmaker wanted to show audiences the horrors of a nuclear disaster without being so heavy-handed in his symbolism...now that creature birthed from this desire sparked a whole genre of special-effects-laden movies with varying results, creating possibly the first cinematic universe. Hollywood has tried their hand at replicating this lightning in a bottle for American audiences, again with varying results, but the folks at Legendary Entertainment has come the closest to giving the people a true-blue classic Tokusatsu film for modern audiences.
And now, "Godzilla: King of the Monsters" has hit theaters with both critical acclaim and disdain.
Why the split in opinion though? Some people just want to know if it is a "good" movie and can't seem to settle on a consensus.
In all truth, giant monsters were never supposed to be characters, more akin to natural disasters given physical form, like if the tornado from "Twister" sprouted legs and a tail or the iceberg from "Titanic" suddenly being a fanged monstrosity. This is captured fairly well in another Japanese reboot of the Big G, "Shin Godzilla," where this devastating monster wreaked havoc and destruction, but on its own, had very little personality. But then, talented suit actors injected their own flair into the subsequent films after the first Godzilla film, making the behemoth and his cadre of colossal companions and enemies very distinct personalities and characters in their own right. Of course, the movies needed human characters to help the audience relate and to spout exposition/help or hinder the monsters in their brawling so it would not just be tons of spectacle without much story. Was that ever the focus though? Some could argue that human characters and their drama are essential to a kaiju film, but mainly, good human story can only enhance the monster action.
Indeed, the human story is probably the weakest part of this movie, which is par for the course when it comes to these kinds of movies. Some people still have a sour taste in their mouth from the ABUNDANCE of it in the 2014 movie, where the title character only had 11 minutes of screentime for the entire 123 minute runtime. Most critics have claimed the follow-up has the inverse problem with too much monster battles and not enough human drama. I will have to defend the human portions of the story for this movie though, because despite what a majority of critics say, there is still tons of stuff happening on the human front that aren't completely a waste of time. The movie kicks off with a scientist and her daughter getting kidnapped by eco-extremists for the scientist's nifty invention that can talk to the big beasties. MONARCH, the S.H.I.E.L.D. of this universe, have kept these gigantic critters under wraps for decades now and they try to stop them from waking up too many of kaijukind. Along the way, the King of Tokyo tags along to help fight the uppity titans trying to cause havoc and destruction. And when their atomic fire-breathing trump card is down, it's the dedicated humans who enact a plan to help bring him back from the brink. If that doesn't sound like decent involvement from these side characters than barely running away from the destruction, enacting foolhardy plans to stop something the size of skyscrapers, and just generally being annoyances, than what really is the point of having human characters? Granted, like "Rogue One" I can't really remember the characters' names so much as their character archetype, and most of the time, the human characters make truly baffling and stupid decisions.
Which leads us to the monsters themselves, the true stars of the film. Without saying a single discernible word, these massive beasts manage to steal the show with their displayed ferocity, their determination, and of course, their fighting prowess. Special kudos go to the new Mothra, being a benevolent buggy, and the new King Ghidorah, who has a load of personality in its three heads as well as the malevolent vibe only a lightning-spewing, three-headed space-dragon can provide. And while I always had the inclination that Godzilla himself is like the Hulk, too dangerous to be a real hero and more suitable as a blunt instrument to be directed at enemies, for the first time, I feel like the radioactive ancient lizard can be considered a hero. Coming in like a hurricane to save people from certain doom, despite having no inclination to save anybody and having killed and hurt millions in his last outing, he can be seen has become a benevolent king to kaijukind and humanity alike.
Overall, a film to not take too seriously, as its highlights are the abundance of giant monsters battling, but not devoid of decent human melodrama and interactions. Watch it if you want a big screen blockbuster to fill the void after having watched Avengers Endgame too many times.
Left head of King Ghidorah was a strange addition to an otherwise menacing beast.
Fun fact: due to the nature of most Disney movies as musicals, there have been MANY stage adaptations for popular films done by the House of Mouse. Iconic among them is the Broadway version of "Lion King," but there are fair tries to capture the spirit of the animated films with such productions as "the Little Mermaid" and "Aladdin."
Why do I bring this up?
Because to appreciate the live-action reboot of "Aladdin," you have to go in expecting a version of the classic animated film that's quite different, but still encapsulates the essence of the story and characters...albeit with beaucoup budget and a lot of visual flair.
Y'all know the drill: a poor orphan living on the streets does parkour, steals stuff with ease, possesses a silver tongue of manipulation, but has a heart of gold...a diamond in the rough; a princess sheltered all her life escapes to see how the 99% live and meets said orphan, and their shenanigans lead to his capture, where he is given an offer he can't refuse: help the king's advisor get a seemingly ordinary lamp. Hijinks ensue when the boy finds a wise-cracking shape-shifting genie within, and this duo must woo the princess and foil a dastardly plan.
The movie takes our expectations, our knowledge that it will never live up to the original 'toon, and embraces that; it has its own unique energy and look that gives this yarn a different spin while it acknowledges the original story. But for all the advances, there are at least 2-3 steps backwards. The instrumentation on the songs are improved, but the vocalists aren't as fantastic. The city & locales really do look like actual places instead of sets, but even then, the scope isn't as grand or majestic. (The Cave of Wonders was particularly underwhelming since one step into the treasure room and there should've been so much gold the entire color palette should've changed from dark blues to solid yellow, but nope...still predominantly rocks) There are new characters and some pre-existing characters have their motivations expanded, but that comes at the expense of the characterization of other characters. Finally, while there are many magical feats and visuals to astound, the climax in general felt remarkably underwhelming with the villain hardly creating anything fantastic to combat the hero.
Overall, an entertaining flick on its own merits, but when compared to the original, what I have unabashedly called my favorite Disney animated movie ever, you could see there was an attempt to put that particular genie back into its bottle, and they failed. 'Twas a valiant effort at least.
There it is; the impetus for Princess Jasmine getting her own "girl power anthem."
And there came a day unlike any other, when nearly every superhero in the universe fought as hard as they could to stop a madman's genocidal plan.
And they lost.
Some paid with their lives, and some carried the survivors' guilt and then some.
This was "Infinity War"
So how will these heroes rectify this injustice?
Well, TAKE IT AWAY AKU!
Yeah that pretty much covers it.
"Avengers: Endgame" is the 22nd movie in the undeniable, and frankly inescapable entertainment juggernaut that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And boy-oh-boy if you thought you had to pay attention for all those movies for "Infinity War," the time-traveling aspect means that not only will it take its audience on a wonderful nostalgia trip, but the characters themselves get wonderful closure for certain things left unsaid or not done in those movies. And because the formula for the best laid plans always includes "SOMETHING GOES WRONG," their present is affected big time by a slight mishap in the past.
After the last movie was more focused on explaining the motivations of the main villain, we are shifted back to the heroes, specifically, the main six who kickstarted this team-up venture back in 2012. Strongest performances go to Robert Downey Jr. and Jeremy Renner, respectively as a Tony Stark with the BIGGEST case of motivating guilt since he signed away his autonomy in Cap'Merica 3, and Clint Barton, who in the wake of unspeakable evil has taken up the blade in a killing spree that would make the Punisher proud (wonder if HE survived the Snap?). The emotions acted out, the action & history their characters encapsulated, and the sacrifices they are willing to make gives you adequate cause to root for them. Not saying the other 4 of the core Avengers have leaps and bounds character development, but really, how can you not after 11 years of movies? Captain America starts to be wistful of what he lost, Black Widow realizing her family has always been this odd assortment of freaks, the Hulk & Banner reach a strange inner peace, and Thor...realizes his failures and after a bit of a slump, finds his fighting spirit again. The 2ndary characters continue to develop, and for some, I am genuinely curious about their futures in the MCU, and for others, I am content with their stories being over. Cameos from old movies are also a-plenty so remember to keep a cheat sheet if you forgot some people.
Blending a post-apocalyptic grimness, with a humorous romp through their own history, and ending in a truly climactic battle reminiscent of anything from "Lord of the Rings," "Braveheart," "Last Samurai," or "Star Wars," this experience is a fine cap-off to a saga from several different storytellers in this new mythology played out on the silver screen.
Yes, even there was surprising Thor 2 nostalgia thrown into the mix!
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend, go here. For a review (SPOILER-FILLED) with a multitude of goofy voices, go here.
So where do you go after "the LEGO Movie" with the mother of all twists? Knowing what we know about the world of the minifigures and their delightful tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement of their childishness?
You go full throttle and combine the imaginations of TWO children!
Time to celebrate the little plastic construction toys again with "The LEGO Movie 2: the 2nd Part."
Opening up right on the heels of the last movie with the DUPLO toddler creations declaring their intent on destruction, our favorite Special tries to make peace with them.
It doesn't work.
Years of attempted construction and destruction later, the only one still holding onto hope and bright cheery colors is Emmet. That all changes when a new invader comes and abducts the main cast of the last movie (sans President Business...he's no longer a threat...or much of a character anymore).
In his pursuit of the alien forces and their slender-er figures, the little orange dude comes across Chris Pratt as a LEGO dude...again...and he carries with him the antithesis to the Master Build, the MASTER BREAK! But is this dark power what Emmett needs to stop the pop-song-brainwashing aliens and their shape-shifting queen?
Lord and Miller hit it out of the park again with their borderline juvenile humor, references out the wazoo, boundless catchy tunes in song and score, and a cast of very likable distinct characters. The funny thing is that while the previous movie was about conformity vs creativity, this film decides to tackle the big doozy of themes: growing up. While as a child, the carefree attitudes and unbridled joy of experiencing life can make everything SEEM awesome, reality has a way of rearing its ugly head and disproving this notion. From there, a plethora of options open up on what seems like the RIGHT WAY to deal with it, and these various viewpoints on how to cope with this unfamiliar harshness is presented here with its own cacophony of clamoring noise. However, just as the last movie's conflict was solved not from unbridled creativity and not from rigid lack of change, but from the power of understanding, understanding comes at the (literal) breaking point of the characters' universe. This compromise is displayed perfectly in the fanmade creations displayed in the latter half of the credits: sure it can look weird and their might be a smidge of a tonal problem, but balance doesn't always have to be pretty.
Excellent film, and while still not as good as the first, a solid follow-up to the tale laid out in the first movie...and another ridiculous Batman ship for people to claim as their OTP.
So now in 2019 we've got a biopic of how this iconic band came to be and a glimpse into the outrageous life of their lead singer Freddie Mercury in "Bohemian Rhapsody."
London immigrant Farrokh Bulsara dreams of stardom and he does that by forcing himself onto a struggling band playing at pubs and colleges. His dynamic range and bombastic performances soon skyrocket the fledgling band burning through the sky. But is that enough for this fabulous man with ambitions beyond that of mortal men? Nope. More experimental in the music, more successful, and more outlandish became the now re-christened Freddie Mercury; the standard rockstar story gets a little murkier when Freddie realizes he's bisexual, and this stigmatized status leaves him even more empty despite all his fame and accomplishments. Fans of the man, the band, or history will know what happens next, but the climax will still leave whoever is watching cheering and singing along.
Truly this film is a testament to an actor's dedication to the role, with Rami Malek seeming to be possessed by the spirit of the iconic Queen frontman. The energy, the palpable strain between him and all the people who love him, the loneliness, the joy, and the showmanship are all portrayed excellently by this also curiously-white-ish-Middle-Eastern man. At the time of writing, I'd say he's a shoo-in for the Best Actor award, but you never know with the Academy Awards these days.
If I were to bash anything about the film, it would that the pacing seems to go by in a FLASH! The events all seem really quick and the history is a bit muddled, but since it's all in the name of getting us to the next musical scene, I am not personally too disturbed by it.
Overall, a great movie with absolute bangin' tunes and fantastic performances.
They were true to their word:
They rocked us.
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend, go here. For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a fastpaced way, go here.
Thankfully included in the movie is this fantastic man's fantastic love of felines.
The Greatest Showman
When it comes to musicals, it's always important to dig beyond the
flashy song&dance numbers to really see what kind of story is being
told.
So digging through "The Greatest Showman," the audience is
shown how a polarizing figure from America's history was young, scrappy,
and hungry who also did not throw away his shot to change the landscape
with the million things he hasn't done.
And it was so easy to get tickets; I don't know what people were talking about with sold out shows til 2020 or something.
The story of PT Barnum, founder of the great American circus, as told
through song, dance, and an amazing performance by Hugh Jackman is the
story of how a penniless peasant rose above his lot in life through his
innovation and manipulative charm and finding a group of people who were
feared and hated by society. However, Desire being the fickle master it
is, drives him to want to be accepted by not just the general populace,
but also by the high society that shunned him as a child. Will he ever
be satisfied or will he find that he CAN say no to this? Excellent
acting, catchy songs, fantastic choreography, characters, and a
suspicious similarity to the most famous Broadway musical in the past
couple of years make this a show to be watched indeed. And of course,
it's a movie about the circus; HOW can it not be a spectacle and over
the top in the Big Top?
First came Hamilton, then came Barnum, when are they going to make a musical of one of the biggest dreamers?
Mary and the Witch's Flower So when the boss doesn't do movies any more, but you still want to make movies, you start your own animation studio. PONOC, pronounced "Ponotch" and meaning midnight, are the prestigious progeny of Studio Ghibli and it certainly shows with their first outing "Mary and the Witch's Flower," with Ghibli's trademark bright and colorful animation, gorgeous, almost photo-realistic backgrounds, and whimsical score.
Mary Smith finds a magical macguffin in the forest near her home and half guided by a black cat and by a lively (nonspeaking) broomstick, she finds herself at a school of magic. Before she could even enroll though, she finds that there are dark dealings going on and she has to rescue a neighborhood boy from a horrible fate. But can she do that when her own newly discovered magical powers have a time limit?
While you can argue that there are elements of a whole bunch of Ghibli movies, namely Kiki's, Castle in the Sky, Spirited Away, Howl's, and kinda Ponyo, there IS a source material called "the Little Broomstick," and while I can't say how accurate they were to the book as I've
never read the book, but I feel like they did it a semblance of justice.
In an interview I saw
after the credits, the producer said that they intentionally created the villains as not inherently evil; the headmistress and Dr. Robotnik look-alike truly
believed in whatever heinous thing they were doing as the right thing to do. The filmmakers wanted to
present kids with flawed humanity that wasn't pure evil; showing audiences that
somebody can believe they're still doing the right thing, even if
they're misguided.
If you enjoy Ghibli's brand of strong female protagonists, magical, artsy locations, and being one of the last bastions of respected 2D animated features, you'll enjoy Lily Evans and her Nimbus 2000 take on bizarro Hogwarts in the sky.
More representation for broomkind!
12 Strong
"12 Strong” was not that great a war movie, partially because it’s still a
battle raging on to this day, and the actors chosen aren’t that
convincing as soldiers, but I’d say the movie’s true shining point is
how the American group manages to befriend and work with the local
militia.
Mazinger Z Infinity
“Mazinger Z Infinity” is a closure to the giant robot anime from the 70s, setting the characters 10 years later
but being still true to their characters. While the 1st half was a bit
political with the whole
if-humanity-can’t-live-in-harmony-they-will-be-judged-by-robot-the-size-of-a-small-mountain,
the true joy is in the 2nd half which features ridiculously overpowered
super mechas fighting mindless automatons, and the final fight being
essentially CLAP YOUR HANDS IF YOU BELIEVE powered while being channeled
by a magical girl. Because let’s face it, you, I, and chicks dig giant robots. (Nice!)
The very definition of Lethal Joke Character...but boy does this guy manage to do his part in saving the heroes' butts.
Black Panther
In the wise words of an animated mandrill shaman, "Da king, has returned."
"Black Panther" was an amazing ride and overall ambitious undertaking
for a comic book movie. It's everything "Inhumans" tried and failed to
be with their power grabs, betrayals, & reverence for a monarch; it
very loosely, if at all, tries to tie into the greater Marvel cinematic
universe, but it's not hindered at all by that; and best of all, it
brings a completely natural feel to world building to something that's quite foreign, and yet harkens to the familiar.
A prince barely gets a feel for his crown when challenges arise from
old foes to the country and new threats to their entire way of life.
Aided by his loyal bald general, a spy who loved him, his tech-minded,
sassy little sister, and a Hobbit, he tackles these machinations head on
and lands on his feet like a graceful king of the jungle. A+
acting from all involved, ranging from the grace and poise from all the
royal family members, (special mention goes to the heartfelt if
misguided villain played by former Human Torch (in name only) Michael B.
Jordan), to the completely bonkers cackling hyena played by Andy
Serkis. The attitudes, lingo, gear, aesthetic, and beliefs of the
Wakanda people feel authentic, as if there really could be a hidden
nation of advanced humanity unsullied by the rest of history. While the
political agenda and the very real talk of the crimes against humanity
are typically turnoffs for me when injected into my movie about paragon
heroes, good vs evil and all that jazz, it also felt natural given the
characters, the world, and the struggles betwixt them all. Go watch it and pray that the live-action Lion King will be able to live up to SOME of the precedent set here. For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please gohere. For funny yet SPOILERY synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here. For a review (SPOILER-FILLED) with a multitude of goofy voices, go here. For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a way similar to how how Michael Peña told stories in "Ant-Man," gohere.
Space Pirate Captain Harlock
"Space Pirate Captain Harlock" tells of how one man and his crew of
pirates and magical black spaceship fight against the corrupt government
preventing anyone from returning to Earth.
...
And that's it.
Prepare for a lot of spaceship battles pretending they're still
seafaring vessels with the occasional big freakin' laser beam. The CG is
somehow at the same level of detail and mo-cap beauty of say, Jim
Carey's Christmas Carol, but without falling hard into the uncanny
valley. Of course there are twists and turns, but it was pretty
difficult to get invested in any of the characters and their motivations
for being massive jerks.
Fullmetal Alchemist (2017)
Thanks Netflix for bringing over the wonder of the live-action
"Fullmetal Alchemist" movie...now put that thing back where it came from
or so help me!
Honestly, this is somebody's cosplay fan-movie with a
big Hollywood budget and CGi wizards at their disposal. As there's no
possible way to adapt such a rich and involved story, they crammed as
many "iconic" moments into this garbled mess up to the point of Mustang
having to sear his own flesh to fight the unkillable (totally killable) enemy. (sorry people who only watched the early 2000s anime; this is still more for the Brohood watchers)
But lawdy, the effects and the look of this beast is truly where it
shines...Alphonse the armor looks like Alphonse, the unholy abomination
of a girl and her dog is on point, and best cosplay award goes to Hughes
because they found the right guy to rock them glasses. The guy in
charge of the transmutation effects might've been from Wakanda because
it could be summed up as a lot of swirling particles to form the
stuff...along with random lightning and goop for the organic stuff just
because. I can only recommend this thing to watch if you've about 2
hours to kill and want to see some soulless fanservice in the same vein
as "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows" or select parts of
"Dawn of Justice."
Sadly, this glorious ham does not show up in this movie...further points deducted.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic; Equestria Girls 4, Legend of Everfree
So after the massive disaster that was "Friendship Games," a little bit of return to form was needed for the 4th installment in the movie series about colorful equines of another universe...NOW WITH SUPERPOWERS AT SUMMER CAMP!
Almost exactly like last time (in the GOOD movie at least), the main cast find themselves displaying extraordinary powers when their individual traits and personalities are fully expressed, a la X-men. This time, they have to figure out the mystery of the (possible?) beast that haunts their campsite.
The interesting addition of the only holdover from "Friendship Games" that of the nerdy, friendship-inept Twilight suffering from the same "I was a bad guy last time" syndrome that afflicted Sunset Shimmer two movies ago gives the ketchup-&-mustard-haired lass a chance to be a mentor to this pale reflection of how she used to be. Adding the not-so-subtle power of telepathy, Sunset really shaped up to be the Professor Xavier stand-in needed for the other horse gals which have manifested their magical mutant powers.
Their henshin items and supersuits sure seemed to spark a similar situation...
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic The Movie
NO MORE HORSING AROUND!
...
Well, there are horses this time instead of multi-colored teenage girls and a talking dog.
THE PONIES FINALLY HAVE THEIR OWN MOVIE!
"My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic the Movie" brings the fans of the show their long awaited big screen arrival...roughly five years after the height of the Brony phenomenon. Surprisingly, the tale is a globe-trotting (hohoho) adventure in pursuit of a powerful queen to save Ponykind from an evil yeti called The Storm King. As per the usual, friendship is indeed magic and the main cast find themselves meeting quirky individual and group in quick succession and soon amass an army of rogues, pirates, and merpeople to their cause of defending their homeland.
Arguably, the same quality as an anime noncanon filler movie, but that is not to say that their are some attempts at actual character development. Most growth of all seems to have gone to Pinkie Pie , especially in calling out Twilight's BS, since that OCD purple horse-critter manages to forget her weekly lessons about how being a control freak is wrong and how to be so shortsighted on the mission, that she forgets to be a decent person. Most baffling is the amount of famous people they've added to the cast with the likes of Emily Blunt, Michael Pena, Zoe Saldana, Taye Diggs, Kristen Chenowith, and hilariously, Liev Schriber. The things movie stars will do so that they can entertain their own children eh?
Overall, a fun little diversion excursion that adds more to the world-building and hilarious shenanigans with the characters you've grown to love if you indeed liked this show at all.
Oh they thought they were clever tossing in a quick reference to another Hasbro property...they thought we wouldn't notice...but we did.
Logan Lucky
So it turns out the secret formula for entertaining movies big on fun
and short on sense is Channing Tatum with a Southern drawl + John
Denver's "Country Road" being featured in some way + prosthetic arms =
fun flick.
...
The first time it was "Kingsman: the Golden Circle" the 2nd time, it's "Logan Lucky."
The perpetually unlucky Logan siblings find themselves at the bottom of
the barrel in their little West Virginian home. For a little bit of
revenge and a whole lotta cash, they
elaborately plan to rob a NASCAR stadium. They recruit a Daniel Craig
with a passable Southern accent and a penchant for making explosions,
and it's literally off to the races! Just a fun heist film that is
even lampshaded in the movie itself to be "Ocean's 7-11" with all the
convoluted scheming and precision required to pull a fast one, but with a
collection of blue-collar folks who the Law wouldn't look twice at. Go watch if you feel like watching a buncha notable actors having the time of their lives and seeing the country hijinks ensue.
Nothing against the little girl's rendition, but Mark Strong's version with bagpipes is far superior
Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
"Murder on the Orient Express" or as I like to call it "Famous People on a Train."
This star-studded cast is the newest interpretation of the classic
Agatha Christi novel which was the forerunner of all the modern
detective shows, matched only in groundbreaking crime procedurals by a
certain Mr. Holmes. But the updated version of this story of whodunnit
comes with many layers of story that all pile on top of each other and
the classic adage of "trust no one." As mentioned before, each key
player of the story is portrayed by a Hollywood A&B lister and the
effort to do this tale justice is clearly shown in their performances.
Watch if you want to see if you can spot the twist coming yourself or if you want to be taken for a train ride of intrigue.
For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a way similar to how how Michael Peña
told stories in "Ant-Man," gohere.
Roughly my thought process every time I saw Kenneth Branagh's bushy-as-heck moustache...
Tomb Raider (2018)
In the late 90s, there was one video game heroine that dominated the
playstations (and minds) of many a young gamer...she was cocky,
ambitious, and always was in control. And when the movie adaptation came
out, this character, played by Angelina Jolie, managed to convey those
traits flawlessly.
And apparently in 20 years, that's not who she is anymore.
"Tomb Raider" brings to the screen a Lara Croft who is portrayed much more like an everyman, and suddenly is thrust into situations
that are way over her head. But she can make it through with
substantial amounts of grit and determination, which still (obnoxiously) screams "I AM
A GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR LITTLE GIRLS!" Despite this, the movie
itself is (apparently) very faithful to the rebooted game, catching the
iconic scenes and the character's personalities just fine. And while I
try to be impartial about this, lest my actual movie reviewer cred be
revoked, this just isn't my Lara Croft. So in the same way as "Man of
Steel" where I felt like the main character's interpretation completely
ruined the movie for me, most of this movie felt wrong because this
adventure gal running around on the screen just was not what I was
expecting.
For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a way similar to how how Michael Peña
told stories in "Ant-Man," gohere.
Pacific Rim Uprising
Legendary pictures said, "And now for my next trick I shall seamlessly
merge a redemption story, a cadet training story, and a sequel to our
Giant Robots fighting Giant Monsters story."
...
They succeeded, but in the same way that WALL-E mushed that trash together for EVE.
"Pacific Rim," 2013's film about everyone digging giant robots and
fighting monsters from another universe (along with Guillermo Del Toro's
signature aesthetic when it comes to those monsters), was a huge
hit (hahaha yes I get it), and so that begat "Pacific Rim Uprising."
Idris Elba's kid lives like a punk because he can, runs across a genius
mech-otaku who built her own Bioncle-lookin-rolly-poly bot, and they're
both recruited into the Jaeger training program. Now if it were just
about that, there's a lot that can be worked with and that's fine, but
they actually try to follow up on the escalation of warfare by having
unmanned fighting robot drones replace the ones that need two dudes to
mentally link up and fight as one. Them monstrosities from the other
world ain't done with Earth either and they come back with a vengeance.
So while a very weak story and the characters don't feel as fleshed out
as they could be, IT'S STILL FRIGGIN' FUN! It really doesn't get more
popcorn flick spectacular than big ol metal behemoths punching beastly
behemoths in the face.
For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a way similar to how how Michael Peña
told stories in "Ant-Man," gohere.
You better believe the merchandising people didn't blow their chance to appeal to a specific niche group of nerds this time around.
Sherlock Gnomes SPOILERS! Gnomeo and Juliet survived their movie back in 2011. Because
they're prominently the secondary heroes in "Sherlock Gnomes." As
the first film was a simple satire of rom-coms and the Bard's famous
tale of star-crossed lovers with the teensiest bit of Pixar twist into
it, the story continues with the unified garden decor families moving to
London right in the middle of a garden gnome kidnapping spree. Because
of a lover's quarrel, Gnomeo and Juliet are away whilst the
swiping of tacky ornaments went down so they involve themselves in the
investigation of Johnny Depp's take on the classic detective and his
long-suffering sidekick Watson. If anybody remembers the old Jackie
Chan Adventures cartoon, there was a magical talisman that made any
statue or toy or tchotchke that resembles a living thing to actually
gain life. That seems to be the case for nearly all of the miscellaneous
small facsimiles of London since it's not just garden gnomes, but
waving cat statues, stone gargoyles, and Barbie-knockoffs that are all
given the gift of spontaneous, Pixar-quality, secret life, and they all
play their part in the mystery of mundanely epic proportions. About the
only thing for adults would be all the shout-outs to classic Holmes
lore, but if you felt like the first movie did not garner enough
entertainment value to merit a sequel, you're probably right. As such,
it was fun, but definitely kiddy-fare. For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of this movie's events told in a way similar to how how Michael Peña told stories in "Ant-Man," go here.
Strangely enough, their own version of the Reichenbach Falls happened.
Darkest Hour Sometimes, you're not the best person for the job, but goshdarnit, you
are going to do your absolute best despite everyone who said you can't. ... Not speaking from personal experience; this is about "Darkest Hour."
Winston Churchill, played masterfully by Gary Oldman, was thrust into
the position of Prime Minister right at the zenith of the Nazi's
conquering of most of Europe. Thrill as he does his best to fastidiously
hold onto his ideals of his country fighting back against the
oppressors, and then watch him get into shouting matches with people who
want to talk peace with that...that...HOUSE PAINTER! But that gumption
don't quit as we see him continue to "never give up, never surrender." Watch if you want to see the unintended B-side to "Dunkirk."
Ready Player One
126 sundry references, easter eggs, and unsubtle shout outs later (that I
could count at least), and "Ready Player One" delivers the moral of the
tale:
GET OFF YOUR TECHNOLOGY AND LIVE A LITTLE!
Basically,
just like if you strip away the R rating of "Deadpool," you're left with
a very basic superhero movie, like possibly even early Spiderman, early
X-men levels of cheese, Steven Spielberg's latest cinematic outing,
when stripped of its nostlagia-pandering/geek-culture-baiting, is a very
basic fight-da-big-bad-corporation story. I keep hearing that the book
it's based off is much better and a few more even nerdier references are
in it, so I might just hit that up, and recommend y'all save this movie
for a game night where you try and beat each other's records of finding
stuff.
For funny yet SPOILERY synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here. For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a way similar to how how Michael Peña
told stories in "Ant-Man," gohere.
Instead of the Iron Giant, there was supposed to be a cameo from Spider-Man's mecha from the 70s tokusatsu.
The Disaster Artist
It goes without saying that most conversation is dependent on how well
you can understand someone; really good conversation gives you a window
into the other person's very being. So the worst kind of conversation is
when someone couldn't be read, couldn't be comprehended, and most
certainly couldn't be figured out.
That's Tommy Wiseau in a nutshell...and James Franco played him perfectly in "The Disaster Artist."
This behind-the-scenes look at the making of the best worst movie ever
is an unintentional bromance film between that movie's two leads, and a
glimpse into how such a bizarre mind manages to craft a movie without
any rhyme or rhythm.
Watch only with people who have seen "the Room"
and be prepared to laugh at the captured essence of a strange strange
man and how the world reacts to him.
For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the both The Room and this movie's events told in a way similar to how how Michael Peña
told stories in "Ant-Man," go here.
Reason to stay through the credits: this level of scene-by-scene accuracy is sorarelydone.
The Post
Spielberg's big Oscar-bait movie this year was "The Post."
What distinguished it from the competition?
The truth will out. The past mirroring the present. Desire of the
underdog to prove themselves. Re-affirming rights guaranteed in the
Constitution. And the idea that a little girl can sell lemonade
exclusively to her dad's work colleagues and lawyers stuck in their
house and make a killing off that (Good ol American capitalism?).
Deadpool 2
Yes. They do make reference to the fact Josh Brolin is somebody else in
another Marvel movie in "Deadpool 2" but it's a passing reference so
y'all better pay attention.
Hope you enjoyed the wacky humor and
gratuitous violence (but not the blatant sexy) of the first one because
there's more of the same in this one. BUT! For everyone who complained
about the lack of connection to the rest of the X-men movies, they
gotchu covered fam. I dare not spoil who you'll see, just know there are
familiar faces from the other movies.
Overall, a fun time to be had with the loosest theme of family and the best tongue-in-cheek mid-credits scenes ever.
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please, go here. For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a way similar to how how Michael Peña told stories in "Ant-Man," gohere.
Surprise villain out of nowhere. You'll know if you are familiar with antique memes.
Ranger Solo
Making a movie in this day & age is always a miraculous process...so
when you come up with a grand idea for sci-fi heist film, you could try
to pitch it as your own unique thing...or you could try to loosely tie
it into the Star Wars mythos.
Hence, "Solo: A Star Wars Story."
Fanfiction writers, both professional and amateur, have tried to come up
with the backstory to one of this franchise's most beloved of
characters. So now that there is an official version, most fans are understandably not happy about it because it negates their own speculations.
Young Han goes from street rat, to soldier, to thief, to smuggler
throughout the course of this movie, and in all that time though, you
rarely see any glimpse of the scruffy nerf-herder that Harrison Ford
played. While I stand by my assertion that it's a perfectly fine heist
movie, full of fun and quirky characters (most loyal interpretations
being Chewbacca and Lando), decent action, and a dash of that classic
Star Wars flavor, there's not enough there to justify in my mind calling
it a Star Wars movie.TL;DR "Solo" is a fine movie, but just
doesn't feel like a Star Wars movie. Go in expecting a good sci-fi heist
film and you'll find yourself much more entertained.
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please gohere. For a review (SPOILER-FILLED) with a multitude of goofy voices, go here. For funny yet SPOILERY synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here. For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a way similar to how how Michael Peña
told stories in "Ant-Man," gohere.
I had the strangest sense of deja vu EVERY TIME he said he was a pilot.
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves And now I know where that Disney DVD trailer music comes from. Thanks
Michael Kamen for lending your victorious fanfare to "Robin Hood: Prince
of Thieves." Swashbuckling movie extraordinaire with acting as
hammy as a pig sanctuary but still very enjoyable, action that defies
our modern sensibilities of Get-it-Done-Quick, and the cherry picking of
facts & legend give this tale of the most famous of outlaws weight
and longevity...and something for Mel Brooks to mercilessly spoof in
"Men in Tights." Overall, enjoy this adventure about revenge, honor, justice, and sticking it to corruption.
By far one of Alan Rickman's best moments of scenery chewing.
Annihilation
How many alien invasion movies have been made? While there are plenty,
how many do the others win? Total victory with humanity was completely
helpless to stop em...you could say, annihilated even?
"Annihilation" follows the soldier scientist Natalie Portman as she
ventures into an zone where things get a little weird and a little wild
with mutations of all living things within its Weirdmageddon bubble. As
the mystery of the alien lifeforms become apparent, that it wants to create
new bizarre life, the squad of women sent in to investigate the thing
struggle to hold onto their own humanity as well. Can they survive this
strangeness? Overall, an aesthetic and sometimes gruesome wonderland
through a disjointed storytelling lens. It's like the more serious,
artiste version of the old movie "Evolution" where the aliens are not
vanquished by dandruff shampoo.
For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a way similar to how how Michael Peña
told stories in "Ant-Man," gohere. PLUS a longer follow-up expounding on the same points, here. The Maze Runner
So we meet again my old nemesis: the post-apocalyptic,
divided-into-groups, YA-novel-adaptation movie! This time, you have
taken the form of "The Maze Runner."
The protagonist is
inexplicably thrust into a society bound very much by their castes, with
mysterious forces at work to destroy their way of life? Check.
The
dude bucks the system by doing things differently and is welcomed as a
hero because something new has happened and the established regime hates
it and him? Check. But what's this?
Girl is introduced and there's no immediate love triangle despite this
Lost-Boys-Society would be the most logical for this to happen? Knock me
for a loop there. But back to the routine of nothing being
explained (to the frustration of the audience throughout most of the
movie) except at the end, as they are whisked away to new struggles and
dangers? Check & mate. While not terrible (DEFINITELY better
than the Divergent series), it does set off every pitfall trope of this
genre, and yet, still enjoyable in how well it does stick to the
formula. We'll see what kinda rumble goes down with its offspring later,
but for now, a fair start.
Before I saw this movie, the only experience I had with this franchise...
Tag "Tag" is a movie about camaraderie, deception, making the mundane seem
ridiculously cool, and crossing some lines you really shouldn't &yet
still being friends. The best part is just how remarkably cool they made Hawkeye in this movie, making him an untouchable, parkour-jumpin', martial arts deflecting, trap-setting, mind-manipulating cool guy. Also, I swear that boring Verizon spokesman
from the commercials is in this movie but can't tell because the
personas are too different... Wonder Sometimes the true mark of a hero is not only in how they've overcome
their obstacles, but how they inspire others to do their best as well. And in the case of "Wonder," that was the main protagonist's unintentional effect on those around him.
A young boy with physical defects out the wazoo (27 surgeries worth
since birth) is about to enter the public school world at the ripe time
of 10 years old. What could go wrong? After a couple of rocky starts, he
finds true friends, proves his worth, and positively affects not just his peers, but older folks as well.
If you've seen enough movies, you know that narratives usually thrives
on bad things or misunderstandings happening ALL. THE. TIME. Hopefully,
this won't spoil this particular movie's experience for you, but none of
that happens! If a conflict arises, it is usually resolved in the most
common sense/logical way possible, AND IT WORKS OUT! A misunderstanding
gets cleared away with both parties realizing they were fools AND IT
WORKS OUT! The formerly antagonistic character gets something revealed
about them and they turn around on their own accord. Overall, an
absurdly wholesome movie that'll leave you with a good feeling once the
credits roll. There's only one lasting sadness, but it was foreshadowed
pretty early on and leaves really not that much impact.
Like so many things it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts.
Antman and the Wasp After the fiery pepper-laden nachos of epicness that was Infinity War, along comes Marvel to offer you a cool refreshing glass of "Antman and the Wasp" in these trying times! Since Infinity War established that not EVERY Marvel character could take part in the biggest crossover even of the (first half of the) year, Scott Lang finds himself bored out of his gourd whilst under house arrest. Due to inexplicable reasons, he has visions of the Pym family matriarch and wouldn't you know it, that size-changing, bug-calling science family are trying to find a way to bring her back. Thanks to opposing factors, the Pyms and Lang must don their supersuits once again to fight them off and to bring back Michelle Pfeiffer from the smaller-than-small dimension. The most hilarious parts of course are the Ferris Bueller-esque scrambles back home since Paul Rudd can't be let out of the house. Strange little detour despite the larger stakes happening in the other part of their world and the climax is a bit too deus-ex-machina, but I can overlook that because of the fun to be had with these characters.
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here. For funny yet SPOILERY synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here. For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a fastpaced way, go here.
Teen Titans Go to the Movies Oh "Teen Titans Go"...how much the Internet hates you. You hog up ALL the timeslots of the once proud Cartoon Network, your animation is a far cry from the previous animated incarnation, and your characterization of beloved DC comics characters is nothing short of insulting. THAT SAID, "TEEN TITANS GO TO THE MOVIES" IS AN UNDERRATED GEM! The meta-humor is off the charts, the ACTUAL humor ranges from incredibly juvenile to surprisingly brilliant, the plot is actually serviceable, and the many switches in animation style can shut up the people who say this is lazy, cost-saving drivel. Not only that, but there are so many Easter Eggs! So! MANY! EASTER EGGS! Not just with DC comics, but stuff to do with Marvel, Animaniacs, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the Lion King, Back to the Future, Pac-Man, and a host of other things. If you want to be pleasantly surprised by a ridiculously fun movie aimed at 5 - 10 year olds, watch this!
For a review further commenting on what makes the Teen Titans Go cartoon horrid, yet the movie is good, go here.
For a (lonnnnnng) analysis on why Teen Titans Go does not work as opposed to the Teen Titans Murakami toon, go here.
If you still don't want to watch it because of your principles or something, here's the Stan Lee cameo so you could check that off your completionist bucket list.
Isle of Dogs
Let's talk quirky storytellers, people who
go about showing you the intriguing tale they have lodged into their
mind's eye in a most unorthodox way. There are those who dare to show
you scenes out of sequence. There are those who have odd choices of
color palette. There are those who write lines that make sense but no
human being you know would say it like that. There's a weirdo by the
name of Wes Anderson who encapsulates all of that. His latest story is
one set in the not-too-distant future, in a fictional Japan, and where
dogs have been exiled to a trash island.
"Isle of Dogs" is one quirky movie.
Caninekind
is forced to be removed from a Japanese city because of a pandemic
spread amongst them that is on the cusp of infecting humans as well.
They are placed in the relatively far away island where they had been
dumping their garbage previously. There, a pack of dogs with
authoritative names come across a pre-teen runaway looking for his own
pet. They help him and there's a lot of hijinks from both man and man's
best friend. All of this is rendered in not-too-creepy, stop-motion
animation.
What makes this a gem of film-making is not
the phenomenal voice-acting cast, not the dedication of the animators as
they painstakingly make the Plasticine puppets move as fluidly as
possible, nor much-debated "cultural appropriation" (really, it's
not.), but it's the heart of the story that resonates with anyone who
has had a pet who is more like a buddy, and the friends you make along
the way to finding your beloved creature.
For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a fastpaced way, go here.
For a review of the movie that also praises the Wes Anderson style along and a defense of the so-called "cultural appropriation," go here.
Really, the only reason Scarlett-Johanson-dog is there is so that we can get Bryan-Cranston-dog to have visible fantasies about her showdog days.
A Quiet Place
The old timey librarians have finally come to take their vengeance on those who would dare answer their cell phones in public!
...
Nah, just aliens who absolutely destroy anything that makes too loud a sound in "A Quite Place."
The
world's been overrun by a superior, bestial alien species that hunt and
kill anyone that makes too loud a sound. So John Krasinski and
real-life wife hide with their children in relatively soundless bliss.
However, a whole lotta unfortunate circumstances, including the wife's
impending pregnancy, brings the vile critters to their doorstep and the
longest night begins.
Truly a spectacle with 90% of the
movie being a reversion back to the the era of silent movies, with
miming and subtitles (for the sign language) being the foundation of the
interactions between the characters; so despite the wordless nature of
their chemistry, it's all there and brilliant. The stakes and peril make
you suddenly very conscious about your own noises and subconsciously,
you're right there with this family as they struggle to keep every
little thing from giving away their position. Definitely recommend
watching it even if you are not a fan of horror/suspense.
For funny yet SPOILERY synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here. For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a fastpaced way, gohere.
The reaction to ANY loud noise during and after the movie.
Fantastic Mr. Fox
A
suave, debonair thief played by George Clooney pulls off a heist with a
host of colorful characters. Is this any of the "Ocean's #" movies?
Nope. "Fantastic Mr. Fox."
A stop motion marvel by Wes Anderson, one of the quirkiest filmmakers to ever quirk, it loosely adapts the Roald Dahl classic tale with a couple of twists and turns. A fox finds himself in a bit of a mid-life crisis and to relive his glory days, opts for one last big grand theft. "One last job" of course, is NEVER just "one last job," and the repeated thievery puts the owners of the stolen goods on their own personal vendettas against not just the fox, but ALL the woodland creatures. Fox being a clever guy though, finds one way after another to embarrass these angry humans, and this keeps happening for the rest of the movie. All the humor is very dry humor and the strangely folksy feel of the film makes you think it could be happening down the road from your own house. A+ voice-acting all around, and this story goes to extremes sometimes as far as visually and through its extravagant story.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
The
old movie "Planet of the Apes" has one of the biggest known twists in
cinematic history: that it was Earth all along and that it's really
REALLY far into the future.
So how did mankind lose their dominance on the planet and how did the NOT!monkeys take over?
You'll only get one of those answers in "Rise of the Planet of the Apes."
James Franco is in charge of solving degenerative disease but along the way, he became a foster dad to a hyper-intelligent chimpanzee...because trained scientists can't tell when one of their test subjects is pregnant and baby acquired all the smartness juice they were pumping her full of.
Thus the poor little primate must learn his place in the world, what with humanity and apekind shunning him for him not belonging to either side. And from this unique position, the chimp mo-capped by Andy Serkis realizes all he can do to rise up to live on his own without the interference of humanity...well, him and a couple of his newfound prison buddies.
With a couple of Easter eggs for the people familiar with the classic film series, this movie is a pretty good what-if about one of the biggest classics of the genre.
I still prefer this kinda primate uprising story, but there IS stigma with video game movies so better one not be made.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
After
the rise, comes the dawn. Dawn is nothing if not a hazy time when
there's a bit of light but overall darkness and obscurity remain.
That
is how it is with "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes," with the newly
established ape society having to be forced into the spotlight when the
nearby humans are struggling to survive as well. The apes from last time have thrived in the forests of California and unbeknownst to them, a sliver of humanity still take refuge not too far from them in the remnants of San Fran. When a small group of humans has to encroach on ape territory, some see it as a call to war and others see it as a way to help their neighbor. Despite the obvious antagonism between the two parties, Caesar Serkis still tries to be a just ruler who don't bend to the thumb of THE MAN. Is all out war avoidable?
Well considering the next movie is called "War of the Planet of the Apes" what do you think?
A much slower movie than the first installment, but a welcome change of pace from the 10 minutes into the future aspect the first one gave. With humanity dwindled to near nada, it's tense to figure out how they might all get out of this encounter alive. Amazing motion capture as usual and the set up of ridiculously humanized apes really makes you question if they didn't have some trained apes in the studio.
For funny yet SPOILERY synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.
The Death of Superman
Well I guess the title spoils the ending, but how else do you get butts in seats/DVDs in players?
"The
Death of Superman" is the (superior) animated re-telling of how the Man
of Steel died fighting a menace from beyond the stars that wasn't his
OTHER greatest enemy cloned and brought back via bad Frankenstein-ing. Not only is it that tale, but how Clark is opening up to the idea that maybe, just maybe, he can let someone into his own Fortress of Solitude. Yes, Lois Lane is finally the love interest instead of the odd direction that the New 52 went with in making the Man of Steel fall in love with the Amazing Amazon. But all of that comes to a screeching halt once an inexplicable, mindless alien threat comes crashing to the planet...and the whole Justice League is decimated by the unstoppable hulking figure...and there are still civilians to save.
All in all, a great story of a simple man who has the greatest power and thus has the greatest responsibility to save the helpless.
Let's just be glad there wasn't MORE cannon fodder for the big ugly to tear through.
My Hero Academia the Movie: Two Heroes
And now, if you'll permit me to be an anime nerd for a quick minute, "My
Hero Academia movie: Two Heroes" is actually a pretty good film...for
the fans.
The superhero and his protege go to a super science island
and meet with his old equipment guy and his daughter. Contrived
coincidences have most of green Naruto's classmates join him on the
island and lo & behold, evil plot is underfoot and it's up to them
to stop these dastardly deeds.
Pretty good story, albeit with dubious
placement in the plot timeline. The Shield family feel like real
fleshed out characters that belong in the lore of All Might. With the
exception of a couple scenes of cheap/lazy animation and
odd&out-of-place telepathic conversations with some characters, this
was a rather good extended episode of the series with all of the
featured characters getting their moment to shine...dare I say, it's
PLUS ULTRA?!
Pointless cameo? Yes, but appreciated all the same.
Kamen Rider Heisei Generations Final
I guess it's just the year for ambitious crossovers with heroes...even in Japan.
Heisei Generations Final not only brings the annual crossover with last year's hero with this year's hero, but also seeks to unite the past 8-9 years of those bug-eyed superheroes in a grand movie with lots of parallel dimension hopping, motorcycle stunts, mode changes, and super kicks. Not only is the action on point, but the characterization of almost all the featured Riders are done exceptionally well, with notable standout being Kamen Rider OOO as a sorta final epilogue even past their own movie. And with next year's movie being THE most ambitious crossover, with the great idea that they realize they're fictional characters fighting to entertain Japanese children (and teens & college students of other countries), I'm sure this is only the beginning of some quality crossover movies.
It's not everyday you see a kid who's died at least 4 times, a delinquent-turned-high-school-teacher, a genius physicist with the power of a tank and a rabbit, a pediatrician who is a great gamer, a god in charge of a fruit dimension planet, and a hobo riding a vending machine all charging into battle together...
Ocean's 8 So what did we really like about the Ocean's movies? A fun, likable cast
of scoundrels, an elaborate heist, great chemistry between characters,
and a satisfying payoff? Yes, now if we change the primary players to women, does that change anything? "Ocean's 8" proved no, it didn't matter.
Sandra Bullock plays the younger sister of George Clooney's Danny Ocean
and just like her brother, she assembles a ragtag bunch of specialists
to execute an outlandish heist. Can this lovable quirky septet (with a
couple of twist members) pull off this big ol exercise in elaborate
thievery? Entertaining and has a lot of the Ocean's movie charm.
Definitely a better execution in female-only sequel/reboots than
Gal!Ghostbusters...
For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a fastpaced way, go here.
Awkwafina's role in the gang.
Hotel Transylvania Sequels "Hotel Transylvania 2" = garbage...much much garbage. Barely laughed,
questioned the good taste of every decision those writers made, and
introduced more tertiary characters that really don't add anything to
plot or humor. "Hotel Transylvania 3" on the other hand, is much
MUCH better. Good grief the animation was superb! It was like watching
classic Looney Toons (specifically, some Coyote&Roadrunner
slapstick) again! The stretch and squish! The over-exaggerated multitude
of expressions! The comedic timing! The
character foibles that lends itself to greater expectations getting
usurped by comedic situations! And there was an actual plot! Something
to beat besides force-fed prejudice and thinly veiled allegory of "The
Other." Just like the first movie, it also surprisingly has tender
moments and actual character development. Do yourself a favor and watch
this one if you want to laugh and marvel at some glorious animation by
Genndy Tartakovsky at the top of his game.
For a creative overview of #3 from a fellow movie-reviewing friend, go here.
A bit of a long vid, but perfectly encompasses why classic animation matters and how these movies have managed to translate these principles into the 3D animated realm.
Mission Impossible: Fallout Jeremy Renner didn't bother to show up in Infinity War, and he didn't
bother to show up in "Mission Impossible: Fallout"...playing tag must've
REALLY EATEN UP HIS YEAR! So the infamous Mission Impossible 6,
which hospitalized Tom Cruise and left many Superman fans wondering why
they had to digitize his snout in "Justice League," is basically another convoluted Mission
Impossible movie, but this time, with CONTINUITY! You really have to
watch "Rogue Nation" to know the turtle-like bad guy now sports
a dirty hobo beard, why Rebecca Fergusson finds her alliances "never
enough," and why Alec Baldwin even matters in this franchise. Tom
Cruise is on another globe-spanning, arms-dealing-messing-up, physically
demanding, Scooby-villain-masking mission but now, he has the thorn in
his side of Henry Cavil (with another American accent) playing a CIA agent
who's essentially the CIA babysitter. Also, conspiracies are afoot,
but what else is new? For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a fastpaced way, go here. The Nutcracker and the Four Realms Almost every man or woman of culture has heard of the classical ballet to go to every Christmas, The Nutcracker...and there have been countless reimaginings and retellings of this story to go along with the pretty dancing and lively music. And clearly Disney thought they could do the same thing they did for the Alice stories (Tim Burton's and the Through the Looking Glass) for this story of a girl who finds herself in a fairy tale full of sweets, toys, the Christmas spirit and rats. "The Nutcracker and the Four Realms" looks pretty but story and characters are really wonky. The idea that the main character's mother was some kind of uber-inventor who not only found herself in a magical realm but created LIFE ITSELF OUT OF TOYS is just the sort of high-times fantasy that makes Disney's recent live-action movie failures all the more apparent. But at least Misty Copeland dances a nice ballet during the movie proper and during the endcredits.
BETCHA WEREN'T EXPECTING A STEAMPUNK GIANT MECHA/CIRCUS TENT IN YOUR NUTCRACKER MOVIE WERE YOU?!
Crimes of Grindelwald The vibes I get from "Fantastic Beasts: the Crimes of Grindelwald" are saying that even though they had this tetralogy planned from the beginning, they hedged their bets with the first one and made it a perfectly fine standalone film, and would only proceed with the sequel once the actual profits came in; because it's Harry Potter related, OF COURSE there would be profits, but now the sequel-makers had to scramble to put together a coherent story. From what I can gather from this rather disjointed mess is that Grindlewald needs the power of the Flash, I mean Ezra Miller's abused witch-hating churchboy who turned into a malicious black cloud in the last one and who evidently did not die. After tracking him to Paris, the race is on for both the magical governments of the Western world, the fanatics of Gindelwald, and Dumbledore's own secret agent, New Scamander, to find him. But then what overshadows the plot the most is the possibility that this angry little raincloud might belong to a family familiar only to the big Potterfans and all the different peoples trying to get to the bottom of that. Also, Queenie Goldstein and the only good Muggle we've had in this whole series break up and that's arguably the biggest tragedy of all.
Definitely a set up for the next movie with very little to endear anyone to this installment. Quite possibly the inclusion of Jude Law as Albus Dumbledore is reason enough, but he's in this movie just about as much as Wonder Woman was in "Dawn of Justice." The stars of course are all the magical creatures featured in this flick, and good ol' Eddie Redmayne being the one to wrangle them all while still being totally inept around actual humans. And the literal last minute reveal will just have you yelling at the screen for MORE ANSWERS!
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend, go here. For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a fastpaced way, go here.
Lest we forget that cats are cats no matter how weird or large they may be.
Won't you be my Neighbor A mainstay of the PBS children's programming block is Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Long a subject of ridicule because American audiences just can't understand or comprehend how someone can be so chill and such a decent human being, "Won't you be my Neighbor" is the documentary to set the record straight. Yes he is a wholesome being. Yes, he respected children too much to let the morons slapping each other with pies be their only source of entertainment. And no, he was never gay. He was truly one of the best people to grace television and he never shied away from telling it as it is to the children watching his program. Watch this movie to feel good. For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a fastpaced way, go here.
Hotel Artemis In the future, when things in general have hit rock bottom, there is a place for any criminal or lawbreaker to turn to when they need patching up. That last refuge is the "Hotel Artemis." Jodie Foster plays a pill-popping, hard-drinking nurse with PTSD who runs a secret hospital based out of a decrepit hotel where each room has a different paradise locale as its theme. Her current roster of patients just got bigger when Sterling K. Brown comes in from a heist gone bad. But wouldn't you know it? It's also the night when an injured cop with ties to her past and the big crime boss running future LA need to check in as well. For a hospital staffed by just two, this is going to be a rough night. Excellent atmosphere, the characters are all unique and not just caricatures (not to mention fueled by star power like Sofia Boutella, Zachary Quinto, Charlie Day, Jeff Goldblum, and Dave Bautista), and the story really gets tense as the night progresses and plots & schemes come to light. Quite an enjoyable flick. For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a fastpaced way, go here.
"You see that badge? That means I am a healthcare professional!"
Crazy Rich Asians I think the biggest fantasy we subscribe to is that the star-crossed
lovers will work out, that love can truly trump all obstacles. Hence, "Crazy Rich Asians."
When a middle-class New Yorker finds herself the object of affection to
essentially the heir of one of the wealthiest families in Singapore,
it's all she can do to deal with the whirlwind lifestyles of the rich
and the famous. Along the way, she meets a host of colorful characters
and discovers her own inner strength to do...
One of the big factors of this movie's runaway success amongst the
non-Asians seems to be a throwback to romcoms of the late 90's and early
2000's. There was a female fish-out-of-water lead, an awkward meeting
of the In-Laws scenario with a hostile parent, a breakup we know isn't
going to take, and a scene at an airport where one of the main
characters chases the other to saves their relationship. Watch this if you wanna see if the power of love can break down the walls of prejudice once again!
For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a fastpaced way, go here.
The Predator First, he fought the Governator in the jungle. 2nd, he fought cops in the urban jungle. 3rd, he fought against them black bugs that look like phallic imagery personified. 4th, he took Earth's deadliest kinds of people into a death game. And now, in 2018...he's fighting in suburbia with/against a ragtag group of damaged military types and an autistic savant child. ... Man, "The Predator" was a strange movie! A weird mix of the Schwarzenegger film and the monster-in-the-suburbs trope, this movie takes our favorite dreadlock alien on the run from the government which tagged him, and a meaner bigger version of his own species all in the hopes of giving humanity a chance to defend themselves. As nonsensical as that plot is, the true shine of this movie comes from the eclectic band of nutsos that the military shuttered away, some kind of suicide squad without the suicide missions. The camaraderie and chemistry these men share, along with Olivia Munn pretending to be a scientist and the family of the black ops sniper that found the crashed predator ship is top notch. Other than that, the only other reason this film has any merit is that it pokes at two of the most famous lines from the first movie, as well as point out how strange it is that humans have nicknamed this species "predators" when really, they're more like sport hunters.
Which vehicle do you go to when the command is given to "GET TO THE CHOPPA?"
Christopher Robin Stop me if you've heard this one: a world-weary dude stuck in his business job has an encounter with a whimsical creature/person from another realm and by the end, he learns to let loose and have fun. Were you thinking "Enchanted?" Possibly "Alvin and the Chipmunks?" Heaven forbid, did "Smurfs" cross your mind? Well, thankfully I am talking about "Christopher Robin." Our favorite human amongst a cast of woodland animals and plushies is all grown up and thanks to his pressing job, he has a long weekend ahead of him, which means he can't play with his little girl or spend time with his wife either! That all gets derailed when a certain blast from the past finds himself suddenly thrust into the now adult Christopher Robin's life. As this older, grumpier, and quite frankly unhappier Ewan McGregor goes back to his childhood realm of fantasy to help out his silly ol' bear, he finally finds the respite and happiness in simple things that he has long forgotten. And that's only the first half of the movie. The 2nd half is a madcap chase through London with his daughter and some of the 100 Acre Wood crew in trying to get an important briefcase to Christopher Robin at his workplace. Overall, a very welcome and relaxing movie where the only stakes is a man's weary soul finally finding some rejuvenation.
Having recently vacationed to London, and finding this display of Pooh toys still up at Harrod's, I took my opportunity.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Do you ever think Jane Austen in her wildest fever dreams would ever consider her characters dispatching the undead with kung-fu? No? Well then you obviously don't have the imagination to stomach "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies." Thanks to Britain's attempts to take over the world back when they still wore redcoats, they somehow or another brought back the zombie virus to their homeland. What followed was an unstoppable plague and the locals had to adapt in destroying them in more civilized ways, as upper crust Britsh elite do. The rich sent their children to study in Japan with samurai, while the poorer, but still pretty wealthy sent their young to learn from the various schools of martial arts in China. That is where we find our Elizabeth and Darcy of this tale. She and her sisters learned how to wire-fu whilst the gravelly-throated Darcy studied the ways of glorious Nippon steel blades. And if you're familiar with the story of how at odds they were in the original version, now imagine how this discussion of martial arts superiority also becomes a point of contention in this age-old tale of being too proud for a man (or a woman) to be their better. A strange retelling of something you probably read in high school English class, but all the same, an enjoyable flick that flip flops between the melodrama we're well acquainted with when it comes to Austen's works, and fighting the sudden blooming conspiracy of using zombies to take over the world. They can't really pick a tone, but other than that, a jolly good time.
Once the zombies themselves learn martial arts, there's only one recourse left for survival...
The Spy Who Dumped Me Is there some kind of graph and chart out there that the studio executives all pray to that says general audiences will gobble up any subversion of the spy genre now? Done in a refreshing way with the "Kingsman" series, done for major laughs in "Spy," and done with great comedic effect in "Central Intelligence." In 2018, we got "The Spy Who Dumped Me," another story about an everyman suddenly thrust into the international espionage game, but now with women, more humor, and more brutality. Great comedic timing, surprising amounts of gore and brutality, and the spy games will have you guessing til the end on who is on whose side. Watch for a fun time with funny actresses and their hi-jinks across Europe trying to stop bad guys.
Blade Runner The ground-breaking sci-fi film that started a lot of the genre-specific tropes that starred Harrison Ford? Surely we're talking about "Star Wars?" Nope. It's "Blade Runner" time. A fantastic vision of what happens when you mishmash classic Noir gumshoe stories with the grim and gritty "cyberpunk" vibe and setting that the burgeoning technological-minded authors of yesteryear thought was a definite possibility. Follows a washed out detective as he tries to apprehend some fugitive androids that might as well be human since they are nigh-identical to a person made of flesh and bone. Not only does he uncover the whereabouts of the robots on the run, but he uncovers a little more than meets the eye about people he knows, he just met, and possibly about himself. Truly astounding how this film set the tone for a lot of futuristic thrillers not just in film, but in animation as well, as you can see a lot of influence in both Japanese and Western studios that ape that aesthetic. The rumor mill as of 2018 is saying how there will be a Blade Runner anime made, and my usual glib response is that they already have one: Ghost in the Shell for anime purists and Batman Beyond for those who want a more cartoony feel.
Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom Look at "Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom" and laugh. Laugh at their
cartoonish villains that seem to have escaped from the 90s movies that
depicted all businessmen and poachers as pure hammy evil. Laugh at the
inexplicable volcano death of 99% of the dinosaurs and then have it
announced that the world already has that technology at their disposal
so no big deal. And laugh at how Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard
still have absolutely no chemistry, and now have to bring along
pretentious millenial stand-ins to their party. The only things the
movie seems to do right are the proof that the cloning
technology/science has been done on something other than extinct lizards
and that baby raptors can be goshdarned adorable. For funny yet SPOILERY synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here. For a SPOILER-FILLED rundown of the movie's events told in a fastpaced way, go here.
They finally gave her some sensible shoes for this adventure!
The Girl Who Leapt Through Time The Girl who Leapt Through Time" is a
perfect example of how mucking about the past fixing mistakes or
undesirable outcomes can unleash a whole slew of dominoes and opened
worm cans. Done by the same guy who did "Summer Wars," Mamoru Hosoda,
this movie is about a plucky high school girl that acquires the ability
to do the time warp again and sets about fixing a horrible day
(including dying by train). As she keeps using this power to indulge in
frivolous things or offset unwanted events, she gradually discovers just
how much her meddling affects the people around her, especially her two
closest guy friends. Was definitely not expecting a standard high
school drama with a simple supernatural quirk to have such a good blend
of comedy and emotion, and even more surprising bittersweet moments.
For some reason, she CAN'T exit a time jump without rolling along the ground like a famous hedgehog...
Children who Chase Lost Voices Seriously Japan...can I watch a standalone anime movie with a happy
ending for once? Sorry to spoil "Children who Chase Lost Voices" for
y'all, but it's films like this that make you wonder "what was the point
of it all?" Makoto Shinkai's 2011 outing feels like it wants to be a
Studio Ghibli film (young girl, mysterious and mystical environments,
goop, fantastic beasts, and subtle commentary on society) but seems to
be missing some of the HEART that encompasses the stuff put out by those
boys from the Totoro studio. Not to mention there's the melancholy
nature of the whole quest, very Orpheus going to the Underworld vibe.
Pass this one by unless you want to see little girls get stalked by
demons who lurk in the shadows and creepily-designed "gods" who eat
cats.
Gee, a literal underground society that uses special crystals to stay alive? Sounds MIIIIIIIGHTY FAMILIAR!
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