Shift into Turbo!
Run Barry, Run!
I wanna go fast!
Warp drive Mr. Scott!
They've gone to to plaid!
Why all this talk about going fast? Well that's EXACTLY the kind of breakneck pacing they tried to go for in the live-action remake of the Disney animated classic, "Beauty and the Beast."
It was as if the actors were just so impatient to spit out the familiar lines that there was no real emoting, no chance for the audience to connect with any line spoken or sung, and no way any of the nostalgia-laden viewers could remember the lines with fondness. What was the rush? To show us the new stuff and songs you added so it's not 100% a carbon copy of the original? Totally not worth it. The only worthwhile addition to the story that was added in this version was that we finally found out what happened to Belle's mom, and why she isn't with them in their dumpy little cottage that's smack dab IN their little town now instead of being on the outskirts.
To be fair though, there are many shining moments in this production that gives a slight improvement to the original.
Maurice is no longer a crackpot inventor, but a simple tinkerer and music box/clock-maker. He has progressed from a typical dopey Disney dad to being a competent human being. The audience can see all the subtle details of his agony of having to leave his wife, how he can sense his daughter's frustration in being trapped in old France's equivalent of the boonies, and he has the common sense to haul-ass when he realizes a spooky-ass castle is a straight up haunted mansion. Not to mention the golden opportunity to set the record straight on why the Beast imprisoned him in the original fable (rose theft), and not for simply being an intruder and sitting in his favorite chair like in the animated version. But with that change to make him much more relatable, that does make his attempted incarceration for being insane seem really out of place, and makes the villagers seem more like sheep to Gaston's smooth tongue.
The classic jock & sidekick routine is executed excellently with Luke Evans and Josh Gad as Gaston and LeFou...except for one minor exception. As most media outlets are only concerned with causing the most sensationalizing of headlines, they've picked up on the subtext that LeFou's character is now openly gay. As I've always believed LeFou was just in hero worship of Gaston, but this movie takes it to a definite push over the gay edge by lingering the camera on LeFou after Gaston leaves a scene to deliver some under-his-breath comment on just how much the diminutive sycophant was passionately pining for the hunk. Really nothing too gay, so conservatives can keep their monocles on and the LGBT community can feel represented. (And while Gaston's song about how great he is was never one of my favorite Disney songs, they surely elevated it to something familiar yet still as gloriously bombastic as the soundtrack version.)
And on the enchanted side of things, the feather duster of all people was given much more of a presence now instead of just being arm candy for Lumiere as she was back then. Lumiere is strangely enough the most animated of the household appliances since he was more motion-capture than the rest of the cast. Chip has turned into a faux skater boy now with his constant need of sliding around on his saucer. Funnily enough, they paired the wardrobe up with the Sir-Not-Appearing-in-This-Trailer of the harpsichord, voiced by Stanley Tucci. And yes, "Be Our Guest" is still the scene-stealing wonder of a musical sequence as it was before, but now with the added bonus of Belle frustratingly trying to eat and drink despite the show, and a part where they suddenly go Bollywood and throw colorful powder about like it's Holi.
Further pluses include the adding of the enchantress who cursed them all in the prologue as an actual character instead of just the impetus for things to get rolling, and quite possibly having a thing with Maurice. The breathtaking aesthetic of the grand castle with its juxtaposition of both poshness and decay, as it's also a victim of the curse as with each rose petal falls, it crumbles further into ruin. Expanding the length of time for Belle and the Beast to get to develop their romance is always something I thought was lacking in the original, so the inclusion of actual bonding moments was appreciated.
As for the music part, ALL the familiar songs are in place with only some decent new songs to lengthen the chance for these actors to flex their pipes for the audience...with only a smattering of autotune. Emma Thompson sounds exactly like a younger Angela Lansbury with the iconic song and that's very commendable. The exceptionally great amongst the newcomer songs would have to be Beast's song called "Evermore," which he sings while watching Belle leave to save her father; truly a great song for when you're pining for a gal you can't have, rife with longing and sadness.
BUT! Like I said in the beginning, this movie is severely hampered by pacing issues, not putting their exceptional actors in more scenes together, having too much extra stuff which contributed nothing to the plot (new magical trinket left by the enchantress as another window to the outside world? Completely pointless...), and most cardinal of sins, letting me down on what I thought was ideal casting. Emma Watson was such a non-presence in the movie in certain parts, I was embarrassed to suddenly remember she was standing right there on the far side of the screen.
So despite my great enjoyment of the movie, it is a much weaker version of the tale as Disney has spun it. As a movie itself, it is a fine version to show folks, especially if it's their first time seeing the tale as old as time. But if you were to compare the two Disney movies, this one simply cannot hold a candle (or a candelabra) to the original Oscar-nominated masterpiece.
For a creative overview from a fellow movie-reviewing friend that lists three pros and three cons, please go here.
For funny yet spoilery synopsis disguised as a trailer, go here.
Just some fantastic cross-promotion months before the movie's actual promo material.
