The Farewell
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil
Jojo Rabbit
Sometimes the best part of winning an argument is seeing the fragile
world of the other person shatter as they realize how wrong they
were...even more satisfying is it's a child whose mind is blown.
So
you can imagine why it is pleasing to watch "Jojo Rabbit" as the fascist
fanatic realizes over the course of the movie just how wrong his
10-yr-old paradigm has been. But then, this seems to be the year of the
dark comedy as the incredible awkwardness of certain subject matter and
bizarre situations that pop up (usually involving Taika Waititi as the
imaginary friend Adolf) make this film laugh-out-loud funny as well.
Sometimes the humor is simply in the bizarre... |
Parasite
What did "Parasite" teach me?
There are monsters.
There are monsters that swindle & con you.
There are monsters that are casually cruel.
There are monsters that pee on your wall.
There are monsters that will blackmail you.
There are monsters that will lock you up with no intention of ever freeing you.
There are monsters that will be blissfully happy when you're recovering from the worst night.
And of course, there are monsters that come after you with rocks and knives.
The conflict in the 2nd half could have all been avoided if they remembered the housekeeper's Kryptonite... |
Knives Out
You go into "Knives Out" expecting a grand ol' murder mystery with a
fair amount of dark humor (and actual humor), not unlike "Clue" but what
you get is so much more...and Daniel Craig giving his most hilarious
Southern accent this side of his role in "Logan Lucky."
Rich old man
dies mysteriously and almost all members of his extended family have
motive and are noticeably unhinged. Enter Benoit Blanc, a misleading
fancy name for such a Southern Gentleman as he tries to piece this
"doughnut" together, and his unwitting assistant Marta, who due to a
weird Quirk, is a human lie-detector, physically unable to be deceitful
or take fake news in. See just how twisty and funny the rabbit hole goes
as more and more intriguing revelations are brought to light even after
the the audience knows whodunnit.
No greater lie detector than one that projectile vomits in the presence of falsehoods |
If you're a fan of both in any capacity, highly recommend.
Even when this was happening, you never heard him say "Cowabunga." This movie has Batman saying "cowabunga," and if that's not incentive, I don't know what is. |
The stars of this show are Leo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt, acting their hearts out for multifaceted roles that I can't even really pin down is surprisingly meta for their lives or not. But beyond these two actors exercising their craft, you get a lot of meandering shots, pointless plot points that don't really pay off, and what seems like subverted story beats for the sake of saying "ooh, that didn't go how you thought it would didn't it? Aren't I a stinker?!"
Also, probably the best advertisement for having good and well-trained pit bulls as your companions. |
Less a story about Mr. Rogers (For that, watch the documentary "Won't you be my Neighbor") and more a look at how one person can become better through looking at the life of this sage of wholesomeness. Digging into Fred Rogers leads a bitter journalist to let go of hurt, let go of anger, and learn what Mr. Rogers has been teaching kids for years: it's ok to feel bad, but what matters is how you handle those feelings.
Great stylistic choice to have all the cityscapes and vehicles-moving scenes be done in the same style as "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood." |
Except, I can't fully appreciate it because I'm a frickin' only child with abandonment issues.
The main core of the movie is the bond of the brothers, but because of their dead father, the older brother became much more a dad to the younger than a sibling. That kinda bond is something totally foreign to me since I. Don't. Have. Siblings. Plus, all my older brother figures left for reasons beyond my control, and I've never had to be that guy for any younger friends (neither did I think they respected me enough for that).
So, thanks Pixar for bringing up a moderately fascinating world that forsake magic for the mundy, and it's cool to see how the inhabitants adapted, and thanks for basically making a quest movie where everything the characters learn becomes relevant later in the plot, but otherwise, I couldn't take away the emotional OOMPH you were aiming for.
You've heard the tale before: a champion, who can no longer go the distance, is left to wonder if he'll ever experience that rush of competition again; he finds a kindred spirit in someone who gets it, heck, almost supernaturally excels at the thing, and they work together to prove themselves against all odds; probably throw in some corporate meddling that tries to keep their optimistic spirits from fully soaring. Oh, and throw in a whole lot of VROOM VROOM.
Overall, a pretty good historically-based, sports story, great chemistry between Matt Damon and Christian Bale, and racing action that really gets your own heart pumping.
Depending on how much you liked the book, that impacts your appreciation of the movie. Basically, the titular Gatsby is the textbook example of a hopeless romantic as he pines for the one that got away. Even with all evidence pointing to the obvious, he still won't give up on the hope of her reciprocating his love. (Spoilers: All the good that does him...)
My god, you look up the word "dapper" in the dictionary, and if you don't see this picture, you throw that book out the window! |
Dated technology aside, this "Mission Impossible" really did wonders for the spy genre back in the late 90s. Everyone was making references to the aesthetic, the high stakes, the "acrobatic insanity," the backstabbing-upon-double-crosses-upon-betrayals; it was all quite exciting!
For that, we thank you baby-faced Tom Cruise for reminding us you can be an action star once again. Long may your reign of thrilling spy movies continue!
Behold the cool spy gadget that got overshadowed by CABLES! (it's gum that blows up; what's not to like?) |
So aside from EVERY. SINGLE. CHARACTER. looking, acting, and just plain BEING different from their comics counterpart, "Birds of Prey" was about the same level of enjoyable as "Deadpool" starring Ryan Reynolds, which is ironic since fanart on the Internet would have you believe that Deadpool and Harley Quinn would get along quite well with their penchant for violence and twisted senses of humor...which is a load of phooey. And yet, HERE WE ARE FEELING LIKE WB & DC RUMMAGED AROUND FOX'S CUTTING ROOM FLOOR FOR IDEAS!
So just like in "Suicide Squad," we find ourselves rooting for the bad chick protagonist in Harley Quinn, as she has to avoid hitmen, bad men, and angry women after she declares herself NOT the number one gal of the Joker (who never shows up; don't get your hopes up). Through a convoluted back&forth in which scene after scene of the story getting ground to a halt, we find out that a pickpocket stole something that would make Obi-Wan Kenobi ridiculously wealthy and the king of all organized crime, and it's up to an assorted variety of lethal ladies to protect the kid until she poops out a diamond.
Overall, crazy, well-choreographed, and I sure hope you like the Ferris Bueller style of fourth-wall breaking just for kicks, cuz we get a lot of those.
If anybody wants a better story involving what Cassandra Cain is supposed to be, but is still accessible to the casual fan, check this one out. |
"1917" is the tale of how two soldiers in WWI have to deliver a message to their fellows 20 miles away to save lives from a German plot...and it is a long and twisty road to get there! Just like "Birdman" a couple years back, it manages to make the journey seem like an almost seamless "oner," with very little noticeable cuts between set pieces. The craft of filmmaking is evident with this movie, and it earned that Best Cinematography Oscar. Simple story, but strong characterization and visuals.
The only standout performances are Judi Dench, who the book purists are sad to find out is not the cigar-chomping DA CHIEF stereotype, and Josh Gad, as they are both relatively true to their characters and actually seem like they are trying to act.
Otherwise, pick any word you'd like to describe this horrendous experiment of cinema, but I'll choose the one that the books and movie gave us: D'ARVIT!
It's a small thing, but it matters to me...WHERE WAS THE CENTAUR'S TINFOIL HAT YOU MOUSEY COWARDS?! JUSTICE FOR FOALY'S TINFOIL HAT!! |
Granted, I doubt Speed Racer ever had to do a race on a planet where the ENTIRE cyborg military was gunning for him...or had to deal with absolute mad/wild characters as fellow competitors...or had get back on his wheels after surviving a kaiju fight and the orbital laser that was to deal with said giant monsters. But overall, a pulse-pounding thrill ride that's a testament to how much actual action and animation can go into an anime movie.
But now that I have seen it, and having worked in a public library for over two years now, I can relate to how despite the corniness, despite the lack of any of the characters' arcs coming to any real resolution, and despite the...unorthodox way the movie ended, I can attest that it really does match with what the librarians' creed is supposed to be. It's the most idealistic of ideals for librarians to be as staunch in their beliefs as those who stood with those in need, and stood up to people who would paint them as as unwell as their least of patrons.
Definitely recommend if you can find it (even better if you can check it out at your local library.)
Despite that, it's bizarrely fun in all its genre-blending madness. It's like a comic book movie met a spy movie, met a swashbuckling movie, met a steampunk movie, met a weird French aristocrat movie.
Despite being set in the time period it's in, they STILL manage to do a "spy dodges the laser grid to steal something" scene! |
But really, we watched this for the clever & bonkers lines and ridiculous visual/physical comedy.
Also, something in there about the veteran do-gooder(s) finding a new bright-eyed youth to train and they foil an evil plot.
Who would've guessed that just 2 years later, he'll go on to play the (worst?) live-action Robin...followed up by again, playing the DEFINITE worst live-action Robin. |
The slapstick is on point, the animal training is superb with very few times that you notice the CGI stand-ins for the titular rodent, and the aesthetic is almost Tim Burton-esque. A real fun time indeed with some jokes that are a lot more risque that solidified Dreamworks as a major competitor to Disney (with more than one subtle jabs at the Mouse throughout the film).
Suffice to say, I was satisfied. Awesome. Wow.
Overall, just a fun movie with pretty groundbreaking special effects for its time.
Like so many teen heroes, Ichigo Kurosaki doesn't want his unique power of seeing and interacting with ghosts, but when destiny comes knocking and a shinigami has to give her reaper powers over to him, he'll have to learn the key principle of a famous wallcrawler. Once it's been made clear what this agent of death did was illegal however, he has to step up his game to be as his name suggests: a protector.
Not only does the movie try to adapt & condense the first major story arc of the show into an hour & 45 minutes, failing to do so, but still has the look, the kind of music, the excellent character dynamics, and ironically, other stylistic details like Chad's Mexican coin and the sporadic appearances of 15 around Ichigo's things. One can only hope that Warner Brothers & Netflix can tell how much of a nostalgia bone they are picking and make a sequel.
Until the day Disney acquires Indiana Jones, this is one heckuva good imitation. Granted, it doesn't have the old timey flavor Henry Jones Junior has, but the intricate puzzles&traps, the fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants attitude, the fun chases, and the tenuous grasp on what COULD be history and the artifacts that come with it are just a good time.
No, but you'll still feel like punchin' a buncha white dudes in the schnoz for being horrible.
Props to Michael B. Jordan playing the most level-headed, cool, and likable on all accounts lawyer I've seen in a long time.
I want to say that the movie might have ended a little too ideally, but maybe that's how it played out in real life too. Can't fault a story's ending if it's how it really happened.
The very next day, you gave it away.
This year, to save me from fears,
I'll give it to someone special."
...
That's it. That's the movie.
Cryptic lyrics-as-plot aside, it's an interesting movie about Emilia Clark continuing a ruin-life-spiral, meeting a magic(?) boyfriend, and then turning her life around and mending all her relationships.
If anything, I think it was more an excuse for Nicholas Cage to unleash more of his crazy and to somehow rope in Helen Mirren & Peter Weller into the movie.
WHY CAN NOBODY AGREE WHERE THE FABLED CITY OF GOLD IS?! (Black Panther's Klaw did it worse though, these two guys did it best) |
Um, no.
It's an adaptation of a cartoon with more emphasis on the title character and her steadfast belief in courage and kindness. As an adaptation of the Cinderella story though, you can't get more middle of the road than this.
Told in a strange framing device of an old yet still very spry Hugh Grant trying to relay his journalistic findings to a drug lord's 2nd in command, so lots of the story could be really indulgent in its fantasies and the characters talk in the most flowery and amazingly word-choiced dialogues ever.
Watch this if you want to see bad people do bad things to each other...in a darkly comedic way.
Tries its darndest to be something that is distinctly its own version of Sonic while sneaking in the subtlest of Easter Eggs. On one hand, you could say that this Sonic is the same as any other strange-creature-from-another-dimension/planet that was so prevalent in the mid-to-late 2000s, but then the Sonic I always remembered had an attitude (like his old theme song said) and an "attitude" viewed from an adult and translated into this day and age, would be QUITE an annoying teenager. Surprise to no one, kudos to the great Jim Carrey hamming it up as only Jim Carrey could in playing the most egotistical madman this side of his Count Olaf.
Best line: "THE PEOPLE WE DON'T WANT HERE ARE ESCAPING! STOP THEM FROM LEAVING!"
Like the Avatar shows, the world of the minuscule music meisters used to live in harmony, THEN EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN THE ROCKERS ATTACKED!
The deuteragonists from last time take it upon themselves to try and fight back by uniting their different and funky (classy, country, etc) brethren, but along the way learn some harsh truths about the world, their people, and each other.
Surprisingly wittier jokes, rich world building with as much diversity in new Trolls as musical tastes, not an overwhelming reliance on needing to see the previous movie, and an interesting core of learning to listen to others, this kids’ movie is a jam!
It's a deplorable take on a legendary Disney animated film.
It's "Mulan." but like the live-action Cinderella before it, it felt the need to Force a tagline down your throat (Loyal, Brave, and Truth; debatably their use of chi is also horrifically overused)
Despite these flaws, I found myself entertained. The liberties they took from the characters, the plot, the villains, and the distinct & familiar musical cues made me shake my head, BUT I found myself bewilderingly entertained. The star is definitely the choreography as it was moderately enough to make battles and fight scenes hold my interest.
In the same vein as nearly 80% of the live-action Disney remakes however, it's an acceptable movie with great production value and stars doing their best; only when compared to their animated counterparts made nearly 2 decades before does the opinion shift to awful.
But man oh man, for a longtime fan, this is your nostalgia given a crisp new sheen.
Take the most notable elements of "Harry Potter" and the "How to Train your Dragon" movies and filter it through the mind of the guy who made "Bleach," and this is what you got.
Honestly, a lot of potential, with adventures more like the "Ghostbusters" or the "Men in Black" instead of the never-ending duels that made "Bleach" such a bore as it dragged on, this time focusing on maintaining the hidden world of magic and fantastic creatures on the flipside of a modern big city with a dynamic pair of cute witches.
Unfortunately, it is such a pilot for a series begging to be made, it's not much a movie, but it's simultaneously, a middle point of an adventure and a starting point for this interesting buncha characters.
Been really getting into English covers lately; this gal sings the ending theme pretty good; checkout more of her stuff
- The glorious medley of the Rider Openings at the endcredits
- The meta-joke about Grease looking like Otoya Kurenai from Kiva (and a host of other little things that are strangely meta about the whole dern franchise)
- TAKERU SATOH, THE ORIGINAL DEN-O, COMES BACK FOR A
CAMEO! AFTER YEARS AND YEARS OF NOT DOING THEM FOLLOW-UP MOVIES, HE
FINALLY RETURNS! OH MY GAIM, IT'S GOOD TO SEE HIM AGAIN!
So essentially, a movie for fans only.
Various sundry references all centered around mysterious crystals that let Rey time travel so she can learn the true meaning of Christmas? And in doing so, also manages to foil another Palpatine plot!
Definitely better than what it looks on paper.
Top notch acting all around and you surprisingly find yourself wondering whether or not Ben can make a comeback (just like in real life).
I will excuse a lot for "art."
I will excuse baffling directorial choices, vanity projects, and things that don't make sense if only to say that movies are an artform that need to live on.
But I will NOT excuse "Tenet," and its insistence on highfalutin I-AM-SO-SMART concept that is tacked onto a laughably simple plot: talk to people and stop bad guy from destroying the world from the mother of all nukes.
This was supposed to be Christopher Nolan's "welcome back to the movies" peace offering and instead we are "treated" to an anvil to the head and spat upon for "not getting it." His other movies have dealt with difficult sci-fi concepts before, but there was always an interesting story attached to it that only amplified the stakes. In this movie though? I COULD get it but it would take a lot of liberties with my understanding of time travel even more than "Avengers Endgame" did with their way of doing it.
Well, if I can't understand what is happening, it is a bad movie.
"How exciting can it be to watch dudes feuding over providing electricity?" you might ask? Quite intriguing actually. The competition escalates and escalates with tactics getting dirtier, money running out and emotions running high, all culminating in who will have the honor of providing the power for the World's Fair in Chicago.
But if I were in a better mood, I would praise how this movie conveys deeper concepts than what would normally be covered in an animated movie. I like how even living people can be considered "soulless;" how passions can be birthed or changed up; how another simple body-swapping situation can still be played for laughs and for appreciating little things in life; how even though you have to think about being a functional adult, you can still try to reach for your dreams.
Even though I appreciated what they were trying to sell, I could still only scoff and say "not for me thanks."
Dogfights, hotshot pilots, the horrors of war, analysts obsessing over a map, and lots of DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA BOOM!
Far be it for me to blame a formula that works, but very middle-of-the-road when it comes to exciting yet lackluster story war epics.
Four uniquely designed and powered baddies prove otherwise.
Really fun and a fine amount of fanservice for the fans of the series that manages to go a little bit beyond expectations.
Despite my misgivings on where the story and characters were going or if it was compelling at all, there's a point where my brain simply gives up on treating it like a competent story and snaps into "enjoy the ride" mode.